


Eccentric Times At Barrington High

by emeraldcitydowntowngirl



Series: Eccentric Times At Barrington High [1]
Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, Halsey (Musician), My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, The Academy Is...
Genre: AHHH ITS REALLY DUMB BUT, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, F/M, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Teacher-Student Relationship, but william is legal by the time the story starts, its like an office au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-05-04 16:16:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 74,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5340452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldcitydowntowngirl/pseuds/emeraldcitydowntowngirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Office/High School AU: For some odd reason, a documentary company decides to document the daily lives and struggles of the teachers and students of Barrington High</p><p>(OR: Music teacher Patrick Stump is hopelessly in love with his best friend trademark emo English teacher Pete Wentz, valedictorian William Beckett may or may not have had sex with the new Spanish teacher Gabe Saporta over his summer break in Jersey, pretentious and Coldplay-addicted Ryan Ross hates the lively and optimistic music teacher Brendon Urie, and more scandalous and weird things happen)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction: Welcome to Barrington High

**Author's Note:**

  * For [smallghostkid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallghostkid/gifts).



> i honestly have NOOOO idea what im doing jgnjgksdfjsd but anyways I hope this is somewhat enjoyable? highly inspired by this glee fanfiction called "Dunder Mifflin: Lima Branch" by mykindofparty on fanfiction.net. and by the show, The Office, which, if you havent watched it yet... please do. 
> 
> more characters will be added as the story progresses, since i am trash for bandom :) also, there are sections where the teachers and students have one-on-ones with the camera men, but that's indicated by the "PATRICK: -"s
> 
> also this is gifted to lilianananna aka the best person in the world even though you read most of this before i post it anyways. early half-birthday present?
> 
> ALSO i'm aware that barrington is a real school that sisky n beckett went to, but i dont go there, so.... if you go there, im sorry if all the aspects of the school are wrong

_(The camera pans the smallest classroom in the entire school- the music theory room)_

"Today, we're gonna analyze one of Mozart's pieces- you probably know it. Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. I mean you probably wouldn't _know_ it from the name but-" Patrick looks out to his classroom, and he's greeted with radio silence- most of the class is on their phones, besides a select few. He looks straight into the camera with an apologetic (with a hint of... pleading?) look, before trying again "I ... uh. This was actually the first piece I analyzed back in college so..."

Again, nothing. He sighs, and shakes his head before pressing play on the YouTube recording of the song. He sort of resents this class, but some of them look up at the familiar tune "Alright guys! If you look on your paper, we're on section A now" He holds up the piece of paper in his hands and shakes it a little, and smiles, satisfied when 8 out of the 20 students look down at their papers and start writing. It’s a little sad, but Patrick’s given up on all hope with his seniors.

"Dude, this sounds like the new Good Charlotte song!" One of his students calls out randomly, before giving a Patrick an apologetic look.

"What new Good Charlotte song?" His friend yells back, as Patrick shakes his paper "S-section B! We're on section B!"

"You know the one" The student looks at the other one with a blank expression before laughing hysterically, before looking back at Patrick “Sorry, sorry”

\---

PATRICK: Tell you a little about myself? Uh... okay. Well, my name is Patrick Stump. I'm the head of music here at Barrington High and uh. yeah.... I'm 26. I like music a lot, and I think that David Bowie is the second coming of Jesus Christ. I don't think I ever envisioned myself becoming a teacher but you know... ( _smiles awkwardly_ ) yeah. There are a lot of benefits to being a music teacher, but sometimes the students are... less than enthusiastic to learn. Like, did you really think that Eine Kleine sounds like that new Good Charlotte song? No really... I really think I heard it.

\---

"Uh guys! We're on Section C!" He says hurriedly, before pausing the song "Alright, I'm just gonna restart this? I really feel like you guys will like this. This is one of Mozart's famous pieces, and although it's well-known, it's a masterpiece!"

William Beckett looks around the room "Guys! Come on!" And Patrick sighs in relief when the students reluctantly look at their sheets, listening to him. Patrick sort of owes his entire career to William Beckett. Patrick restarts the song, and watches as his students write.

Things are going Patrick's way for a while, until another student raises her hand "Mr. Stump? I have a question"

Patrick pauses the song, and looks up with her. "Yeah Ashley?"

"Do you know who the new Spanish teacher is? I heard Mr. Gonzales got arrested for a D.U.I and got fired" That causes the entire class to erupt into conversation, even the "good" students.

"Guys! Let's back to it! And no, I don't" He frowns- he heard about the new teacher but he hasn't gotten the chance to meet him yet.

\---

PATRICK: I think all of the staff here more-or-less gets along pretty well. Of course, I usually hang around the music department, but I'm friends with a couple of the other teachers on the hall. Have you met Pete yet? Pete's kinda my best friend, he helped me around on my first day and we always jam on the weekends. He's an English teacher, but he's not like... boring, y'know? He's so dreamy... wait, no, that's not the word I meant to say!

PETE: Patrick's pretty much the light of my life. Where would I be without Patrick Stump? I don't know and I don't want to know. He's the coolest dude I've ever met, and his singing voice sounds like angels. Anyways, yeah I'm dating this English teacher. Well, I don't think we're dating because Mikes won't let me cuddle with him, but we... ( _uses his thumb and his index finger to make a circle and uses his other hand to move his finger in and out of that circle_ )  ... a lot. He's got a great ass. A little flat, maybe. But a great ass nonetheless. The kind of ass you could write poems about. I actually _have_ written poems about it before. Mikey threw them away though.

MIKEY: I hate cuddling. I hate cuddling, and I hate people. But coffee is good, I suppose

\---

By the time Patrick finally gets through Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, the bell is about to ring. He runs a hand over his face as the students question him about Mr. Gonzales and his D.U.I even more. It’s a little embarrassing but Patrick doesn’t even think he _knows_ this Mr. Gonzales.

"Guys. I don't know anything about Mr. Gonzales's D.U.I. I didn't even know him! Aren't you guys going to meet the new Spanish teacher soon enough?"

The students shrug, and the bell rings. They make their way out of the classroom hurriedly, but William stops to talk to Patrick.

"Hey Mr. Stump, when are musical auditions?"

\---

WILLIAM: This is so cool! Wow, I can't believe you guys chose our school to do this documentary about! Okay, well, my name is William Beckett. I'm the valedictorian this year, so that's pretty cool. I don't know, it took a lot of time management I think. Honestly, time management is the best thing to ever happen to me. Even if I never get to see my friends. My parents kinda forced that whole "You have to be a lawyer or you're useless" thing on me, and I want to be more successful than my father and throw it in his face, and it's a lot of work, but... I don't know. Uh... what else is there to say about myself? I love music, even if my voice is mediocre at best in my opinion, but I do the musical mostly because my parents hate it and say that it makes me look gay. Which is funny because I came out to them 3 years ago. ( _frowns, and then resumes smiling_ ) Plus, I love performing, so I guess my voice can't be that bad, right? Sorry, am I babbling?

MIKE: Nah, I got a question for you. Why the ~~fuck~~ would you choose this school out of all of the schools in the country. It makes no sense.

\---

( _The camera pans to the inside of Mr. Gonzales's old classroom, before focusing on the new teacher who is standing in front of the classroom door. He looks into the camera and grins "I'm ready to teach! Woo!". The camera follows him into the classroom, and zooms in on William's horror stricken face upon seeing him, and turns back to zoom in on Gabe's equally shocked face upon seeing William_ )

\---

WILLIAM: I didn't... I didn't have a look on my face when Ga- _Mr_. Saporta walked into the classroom! ( _watches the footage of Gabe walking into the classroom and his zoomed in face_ ) Okay, I had a look on my face. Let's just say that... uh... I may... or may not have had relations with Ga- ** _Mr_**. Saporta over the summer on my break. I'm not confirming or denying that. Holy ~~shit~~.

GABE: I need a drink. Now.

\---

( _Patrick approaches Brendon Urie in the music department's room_ )

"Hey Brendon? A couple of my students in music theory class said you weren't in class today?" He starts saying, before Brendon holds up a hand, to stop him. Victoria Asher, the orchestra teacher, leans back in her chair to watch their encounter.

"In my defense, I left the best person in charge of the class" Brendon is referring to Ryan Ross, one of the English teachers that Brendon is hopelessly in love with, as has been ever since he started wearing scarves. Ryan Ross, who is perhaps the absolute worst person to have in charge of the classroom.

" _And_ you know that Nicki Minaj's new album came out today! I had to run to Target and buy the CD! It'll never happen again, I promise!" He smiles up at Patrick, and before Patrick can say anything else, Brendon has his headphones in and he goes back to reading J-14, despite the fact that it's marketed to teenage girls.

"One of the students said that Ryan blasted Coldplay for half of the period" Vicky adds, as Patrick sits back into his chair, pulls out his Advil, and downs 2 of them. The worst part is, though, this is one of the best days he's had in a long time.

\---

RYAN: I only listen to the most obscure and indie bands out there. Ever heard of Coldplay? The Beatles? Yeah, thought so.

BRENDON: Can you move the camera a little? You're getting my bad angle... okay, better. Was leaving the class irresponsible of me? Maybe. But the only reason why I even have a job is because I'm doing it for Nicki. And hey, was Ryan talking about me? Ryan is so attractive, isn't he? I want to have his gay babies. I'd name our kids after Gwen Stefani and Britney Spears. He told me earlier to ~~fuck~~ off, which made me upset, but he subbed for my class so that has to count for something right...? It's so cute when he plays hard to get.

RYAN: I did it because the music room has the best sound system, and I needed some more dry erase markers ( _holds up some dry erase markers with a grin_ ) He won't miss them.

\---

_(The camera pans the cafeteria, before settling on William Beckett and his group of friends)_

"Okay, start at the beginning, because I'm really confused" Adam Siska rests his chin on his fist, and looks over to Mike Carden who nods "Yeah, I also don't get how you failed to mention that you, oh I don't know, ~~fucking _fucked_~~ Mr. Saporta over summer break?"

William sighs, before looking around for cameras, and leaning in closer to his friends. He also failed to remember that the cameras can pretty much pick up their entire conversation. For the valedictorian, William seems to forget a lot of things. But he's also a musical genius and he took college level physics in his freshmen year, so…

"Alright, you guys know how I spent my entire summer vacation in Jersey, right? Well, Gabe is _from_ Jersey, and he was in this band" Andy, or The Butcher as they all call him, starts humming "Summer Nights" from Grease, and William grits his teeth "Stop! Anyways, Gabe was in this band, called Midtown. And you guys had to be there, alright, this band was so ~~fucking~~ good. Anyways, since my cousins and I went to almost every show of theirs, Gabe started to recognize us-"

"Hold on" Mike says "You're saying that Gabe gave up on being in a band to teach?" William shrugs "Maybe that was his last summer of freedom before he gave his life away" They all nod at that, and William continues "And he just always had his eyes on me. So one night, after they finished their set, I went back stage to meet him. And when he asked me how old I was, and where I was from, I kinda told him that I was 19 and I was from the same neighborhood my cousins were from and... and I didn't know this was all gonna ~~fucking~~  happen! Gabe and I dated okay, he ~~fucking ate my ass~~ at one point and now he's teaching me verbs in Spanish!" He sounds exasperated, but he holds his head in his hands. All of the boys grimace at the mention of their Spanish teacher eating ass, especially William's ass, but they comfort him

\---

MIKE: I mean, no homo or anything, but I'd definitely lick William's-

SISKY: How do I feel about all of this? Well... I don't know. I think that they should drop it, and pretend it never happened. But if I had sex with like... Angelina Jolie and she came back as my Spanish teacher, I don't think I would be able to just pretend it didn't happen. Plus, William is extremely stubborn, so... he won't rest until he's had a long conversation with Mr. Saporta

THE BUTCHER: ( _shrugs_ )

\---

_(Pete and Mikey are making out in what they think is a storage closet- it's actually the new music theory room that Patrick wanted after the last room was infested by rats. The cameras are installed in the ceiling)_

" _Mikey_ " Pete gasps, bucking his hips up as Mikey grinds back down on him- Pete's sitting at the " _desk_ " and Mikey's on top of him. Pete's hands move towards Mikey's ass, and he starts palming it "Your ass. It has such class-"

" _Don't_. I don't want to hear your poetry okay, just kiss me" Mikey pulls away to look at Pete's and kisses him before Pete can disagree.

And this continues for another couple of minutes before Mikey sinks down to his knees, in front of the desk, and starts to unbutton Pete's pants " ~~ _Fuck_ , fuck, fuck~~, Mikeyway _please_ "

And just as Mikey has Pete's belt off, and is reaching to unzip his pants, the door unlocks, and Patrick looks at the sight before him, before screaming

"OH MY GOD!" Patrick slams the door behind him, just as Pete and Mikey scramble to not be in the positions they were in a second ago. Patrick looks into the camera of the camera man who was with him as if to say "Did I see that?"

"I'm so sorry!" Mikey rushes out of the room first, as Patrick looks at him with wide eyes.

Mikey Way is the luckiest piece of shit in the entire world, he decides. Pete comes out of the classroom/closet (belt and zipper intact) and laughs awkwardly

"I'm really sorry we thought it was-" "We didn't know-" "And you know Mikey's lips are so inviting" Mikey blushes at that, as Patrick, still a little speechless shakes his head "It's.. it's fine!" He squeaks, as Pete playfully punches his shoulder, still with an uneasy look on his face "At least you didn't see anything, right?"

\---

MIKEY: I crave death. I think I would rather get stabbed in the eye repeatedly than look at Patrick in the eye again.

PETE: So... I guess this is a good first impression of me. ( _chuckles awkwardly_ ) So, how was your first day here at Barrington High?

PATRICK: I know that Mikey and Pete are sleeping with each other. Pete's my best friend after all, I have to listen to his calls at one in the morning when Mikey refuses to acknowledge his existence. But I think this incident, uh... Okay, why the ~~fuck~~ did Mikey go to my classroom to blow Pete? Does Mikey know that I don't like him? Did he do that to get back at me..... oh, he didn't know it was my classroom? Well... whatever. I take back what I said. Mikey Way! What a great guy!

\---

_(Ryan is walking to the teacher's cafeteria by himself, and Brendon spots him. The camera follows him as he runs to catch up with Ryan)_

"Ryan! Ryan! I know you can hear me!" Ryan grits his teeth, and clenches his fists, before turning around on his heels. The students around them rush to their classes, and Brendon is pushed into Ryan.

"Hey Brendon" His tone is ice cold, but Brendon just smiles at him, and tugs on his arm. "Come get some gyro with me. Please? Pretty please? Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top? Pretty, pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top with sprinkles? Pretty, pretty, pretty…" He continues this as they walk (or rather Ryan walks and Brendon's hold on him drags him down the hall), until Ryan stops just before walking into the cafeteria and narrows his eyes at Brendon.

"Fine. But you're paying"

\---

RYAN: I'm saving up on money to follow Coldplay on their next tour, okay?!

\---

( _The camera follows them to the restaurant and the camera man hides behind the bushes and films the two of them through it, since they weren't allowed in. thankfully, their microphones are on_ )

"This isn't a date" Ryan clarifies, after they're seated. Brendon just smirks, and pats his hand "Well, it's a fancy restaurant, and one of us is paying for the both of each other. But okay"

"This is a local gyro place that was infested with cockroaches 6 months ago. Gyros are 5 bucks each”

\---

BRENDON: ( _singing_ ) Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

RYAN: I know it seems like I'm an asshole, but I'm not. I just... really hate Brendon Urie and want to use him for his money. That's called being _resourceful_. I'm an English teacher, I know these things.

BRENDON: ( _singing louder, with a wild grin_ ) Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality!

RYAN: He's always singing. Honestly, how does one just sing all the time? Yes, his voice is nice, but... mine is better. Wait, I have a copy of my mixtape "Take A Vacation" in my bag! ( _searches bag_ ) I'd explain the name but you probably wouldn't understand

\---

They make short conversation, but it’s mostly Brendon chatting about his students and his day, and One Direction’s new music video, while Ryan prays that their gyros get there soon and listens to him. He has to admit, Brendon’s voice is quite soothing to listen to until he starts screeching about Justin Bieber’s new album- the people sitting around them stare, but Brendon apologizes- not about being passionate about good music, but for yelling.

Finally, when their orders arrive, and Ryan thanks God (or whoever was up there), Brendon stuffs half of the gyro in his mouth, slowing down and making sure Ryan was watching him. before waggling his eyebrows at Ryan "Like that? My mouth can handle a lot of meat" He winks at Ryan, and takes a sip of his soda before choking on it.

\---

RYAN: I didn't like that

\---

( _Gabe is organizing things in his new classroom, and William walks in before locking the door behind him_ )

"Gabe?" Gabe looks up at the sound of William's voice, and bites his lip when he looks at his face. William was clearly crying, and he bites his fingernails, looking at Gabe with tears in his eyes, a look that screams _"Don't be mad at me"_

Gabe stands up, and brushes William's long hair out of his face with a sigh. "Not here, Bilvy. Too much of a risk. Can you, uh... come back to my place?"

William instantly feels relieved, just at the use of the nickname Gabe had given him over the summer, and the smell of Gabe’s cologne fills his nose. He still smells so good, but he looks older, which makes William feel even worse. He knows that Gabe is 6 years older than him, but as he cries into Gabe’s shoulder, it feels like an even bigger age gap

“We’ll work something out, alright? Don’t cry Bilvy, please” Gabe watches the door to make sure no one walks in but he feels William nod against his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know this was going to happen, you know, god I’m so stupid I just wanted to know you and then things happened and it was too good to end it-“ He starts saying, until he remembers that him and Gabe are technically broken up, since William had to inevitably go back to Chicago, and he just gets more torn up about the memory

Gabe tries not to flinch, because, uh, he had sex with a _minor,_ and dated a _minor,_ and this is way too casual to be alright, he’s a goddamn teacher who could get arrested for it, but he just runs his fingers through William’s hair “It’s okay, we’ll talk” His words are thick because he hates seeing people cry, especially people who he was half in love with. People who were, again, minors.

William knows this is a bad idea, knows that Gabe could lose everything if word got out,  but he can’t bring himself to stop. He supposes it’s love. “I know it’s asking a lot but please kiss me. I want to kiss you so bad” He says, before Gabe starts protesting “Bill, I don’t-“ He shakes his head, before pushing William’s hair behind his ear, before pressing a kiss to his forehead “Not here. I still have your number saved, I’ll call you, alright?”

Unfortunately, just as Gabe kissed William’s forehead, a math teacher had looked through the window. The math teacher looks into the camera with a shocked expression, before walking away quickly, muttering “The weed made me see it, I didn’t see anything! The new Spanish teacher definitely wasn’t all up in William’s business!” to himself

\---

JOE: I already told you bro, I didn’t see anything. And I don’t smoke weed, what the hell are you talking about? That’s _illegal_. ( _watches footage that the cameras took of him and Victoria smoking blunts before the school day started, and the footage of him saying that "The weed made me see it"_ ) ~~Shit.~~

                                                                                                                                                                                                


	2. The Fundraiser: Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's kinda ironic cause i started listening 2 coldplay when i write so that i could put myself in ryan's shoes, since i had him like coldplay as like a "running gag" and now like..,.,., chris martin is fucking my life UP 
> 
> and sorry if there seems like there's no real plot.././. i have IDEAS and they'll piece together eventually... hopefully
> 
> and i'll try to update once or twice a week, since i write at school during my free time!

PATRICK: Around this time in our school year, we usually do a fundraiser for the music department, since you know, we don’t necessarily get a lot from the district. Granted, it doesn’t work a lot of the time because the teachers are the only ones who really buy the pies we fundraise. I stopped being _too_ disappointed, but sometimes I wish that we had more money to do things like… ( _glances around his surrounding- it’s the storage closet classroom and he looks into the camera with a grimace_ ) maybe change my classroom up a little bit.

\---

Patrick walks into the music department and greets Brendon and Victoria with a packet of paper and an uneasy look on his face “It’s time to get ~~fucked~~ up” He drops the papers on the table and Brendon looks at them with a scowl “This is so boring?! Where are the colors?!” while Victoria reads it over “It’s not too bad. Maybe we can ask the English department to give their kids like… extra credit if they sell. I know your boo would agree” She kicks Patrick under the table and Brendon giggles “Pete and Patrick sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a…. an adopted baby in a baby carriage!”

During this entire song, Patrick looks into the camera with a blank expression “I don’t like Pete, he’s dating Mikey” He says, a little too rehearsed, since that’s his excuse _every time_ his music family brings him up (Since Pete comes into the music department room often just to bother Patrick and grade his papers where blasting rock music is something that isn’t looked down upon in the slightest, and since Patrick drools over him and his tattoos, he gets asked that question more than often)

“Alright, but that’s like saying… Joe doesn’t like Star Wars. I’m not ~~sucking his dick~~. Brendon isn’t hopelessly in love with Ryan Ross-“ “For the record Vicky-T, we went on a date yesterday! We got _gyros”_

“Does Ryan know it was a date?” Vicky snickers, and Brendon rolls his eyes “Bitch, you’re just mad that my eyebrows look better than yours”

\---

VICTORIA: Wait, do they?

BRENDON: Am I jealous that Vicky is getting more action than me? Um… did you not just hear me? Ryan and I went on a _date_ yesterday. We got _gyros_. Call me when Vicky and Joe stop getting each other off and go on an actual date like Ryan and I. _(shudders)_ Ugh. Heterosexuality. 

\---

_(William, Sisky, The Butcher, and Mike are all putting forms up in the hallways to remind students and teachers to get their forms for the fundraiser)_

"-And that's why, even if you ~~fuckin'~~ paid me, I wouldn't _ever_ watch 'Pooh's Grand Adventure' again" Sisky finishes, before leaning his head against the lockers, obviously distraught after his story. Mike snickers, and starts singing one of the songs from the movie under his breath, despite Sisky's horror story

\---

SISKY: I'm not explaining the story again! The Skullasaurus is one of the scariest monsters in history, and that scene in cave with the crystals... nightmares, man.

\---

"You're such an asshole!" Sisky hisses, before looking at William, who is unusually quiet. "Bill, what's up?"

William looks over to Sisky, pausing from stapling paper to the walls and sighs. "Gabe called yesterday"

All of the boys look up at this, and The Butcher gives him an uneasy look "Gabe as in Spanish teacher, right?" He nods and turns back to the wall. Bill is usually really chatty about this kind of stuff (not like _I dated my teacher_ stuff, but stuff that bothers him) but he’s just quiet.

"It was really awkward, as you know... it should be. I mean, I was still really upset about it, cause like... I understand Shakespeare and trigonometry but this? I have no ~~fucking~~ clue what I'm doing"

"But isn't this like... illegal?" Mike asks, as William rolls his eyes "Isn't the pot in your bag illegal?"

"That's different. You're underage!" "The age of consent here is 17" William counters back, as Mike shrugs, obviously defeated.

It wouldn't be weird to any of them because William spits out random facts all the time- it's different because William only really knows this to be 100% true because he looked it up yesterday after talking to Gabe

"Yeah, but dating your teacher is still illegal, Bill" The Butcher adds, as William nods "I know. I _know_. I hate this. But he makes me feel like… good inside” William sighs again. “We have so many little inside jokes, and he always makes me laugh and he treats me so well, you know? And now I have to listen to every girl in the school fangirl over him, when I’m the one who really knows what he’s like, and how annoying he can be, but like… you know… a good kind of annoying, you know?”

“No, I don’t know” The Butcher says, before looking at William with concern. The Butcher kind of always knows what he’s doing, and knows what’s right- and he knows this isn’t right. 

“Like… I don’t know!” The Butcher looks into the camera for this, with a vaguely pissed off expression on his face.

“William. You’re the goddamn _valedictorian_. He’s a new teacher. You can’t really believe this is a good idea” He tries again, and William staples a particular paper into the wall hard “I’ll figure it out”

\---

THE BUTCHER: Before, I didn’t really care about this whole situation. Okay, not that I didn’t care, but it wasn’t a huge concern for me. And I’ve never been in love before, unless you count Metallica. I ~~fucking~~ love Metallica. Anyways, I’ve never been in love, but when you really think about this… Gabe could go to jail for this, even if William is the age of consent. The way I see it, it’s either spend 6 months waiting to date, or spend 16 years in ~~fuckin’~~ jail”

SISKY: I, uh… yeah. William kinda always knows what to do eventually. I think things will be okay… but I don’t know. This is way too much drama for 9 in the morning. Afternoon? I dunno.

WILLIAM: You know when you have like… a really bad day? But the second you lie down in your bed, you feel at peace, and you feel like you’re going to be okay, even though all of that bad stuff still happened? That’s how I feel with Gabe right now. Good analogy, right?

\---

( _Ryan is walking through the hallways and pauses to look at the multiple fundraiser flyers stapled into the bulletin board where they usually put English related stuff, and Brendon makes a heart with his hands to towards the camera, and then makes it toward Ryan and waits for Ryan to turn around and see it)_

“Hey Rossy!” Brendon calls out when he gets tired of waiting. Ryan cringes and turns around, before plastering on a fake smile “Hey Brendon” Brendon hands Ryan a form, despite forms already being right in front of their faces.

“Are you interested in some-“ He holds his finger to his ear and sings “-piiiiiiiesssssss?” It’s extremely unnecessary and Brendon only does it to show off, and Ryan knows it, but he shrugs- The few times he has actually spent money to help the Music department, the pies they fundraise have always been good. But he’s saving up for Coldplay, and this is _Brendon Urie_

“Um, I’ll think about it” He ends up saying, before Brendon pouts at him “But Ryan! Think of all the things the Music department could do! We could maybe make the storage closest they stuck Patrick in a little nicer, we could get rid of the rat problem in the actual music theory room, we could get a piano that isn’t missing all of the keys… the list goes on and on, and on and on! Street lights! People! Living just to-“

A couple of students pass Ryan and Brendon and giggle at Brendon, before Brendon whips around “Journey is a classic!” before turning back to Ryan with a smile “Sooooo…. Can you please buy a pie? A single pie! I’ll, like, pay you to buy one” “You’ll pay me to _buy_ something? So aren’t _you_ the one buying it?”

\----

BRENDON: I’m not _dumb,_ okay? I obviously went to college and got my degree, but you know… I’m educated in _music._ Circle of fifths, bitch! So I hate when people make me feel like an idiot… but I don’t mind Ryan doing it to me, because I wanna ~~suck his dick~~ , and I get off on humiliation

\---

“Well, yes, but… okay, how about you buy a pie, and I take us out for ice cream? Doesn’t ice cream sound fun, Ryan? Say ice cream sounds fun” Ryan rolls his eyes, but he loves ice cream, so he ends up smiling a little, despite the fact that he really, really doesn’t want to smile or laugh in the presence of Brendon.

“Ice cream is fun” He folds the form and puts it in his bag as a reminder to fill it out when he has time.

“I’ll buy you mint and chocolate chip, I know it’s your favorite!”

“…I don’t think I’ve ever said that to you…? How did you know that?”

“Haha! Haha! Oh, Ryan!” Brendon laughs, before patting his back “Fill that form out, and then we’ll go out, okay? Meet me at the Music department”

\---

RYAN: Brendon is kinda my sugar daddy, isn’t he? Whatever, I don’t mind. I get apple pie _and_ mint chocolate chip ice cream out of this deal, and listening to him talk... well, I can always ignore him, can't I? I do it with my students all the time. I don't really know any of their names either...

BRENDON: I talk a lot, and I’ve learned to somewhat tune myself out ( _shrugs)_ I’m a man of many talents, what can I say? I’m also good at belly shots, and surprisingly, I can balance a lot of things on my forehead if I lie down

RYAN: I’ve seen Brendon balance _a lot_ of things on his forehead, actually. That’s pretty cool. But I bet he can’t recognize every Coldplay song from its opening chords. ( _pulls out phone, and presses a random Coldplay song)_ “Strawberry Swing!” ( _holds phone out, and it’s “Strawberry Swing”)_

\---

( _Patrick’s hanging out in the Art Department with his friend and roommate Travie, and photography teacher Jon Walker comes in, and looks startled to see Patrick_ )

“Patrick! What… whatareyoudoinghere?” He blurts out, before giving the cameras an odd look “Oh! Hi! I’m-“ “They do that in the one-on-ones, Jon!”

\---

JON: Oh! Hi! I’m Jon! I’m the photography teacher here, and uh… wow. What kind of camera is this?

TRAVIE: Jon’s only a little in love with Patrick. It’s not like on the level in which Patrick is in love with Pete, cause ~~shit~~. Patrick is _in love_ with that little guy. But y’know, Jon admires from a distance

\---

“Travie and I were just talking. How are you?” Patrick smiles at him, and Jon smiles back, nervous as hell, and he starts stuttering over his words “I-I’m good. Just ya know… taking pictures… grading papers… ” From the other corner of the room, Gerard Way giggles at how flustered Jon is getting. Gerard and Mikey are such opposites, Patrick notes- Mikey makes everyone want to curl up into a ball and die. Besides Pete, who thinks Mikey is Jesus Christ.

“I understand. My students don’t know the definition of 'Don’t use a pen on the scantron' so naturally, I have to grade everything by hand” Patrick holds up a stack of scantrons, and Jon laughs a little too loud at it “Oh man! That really sucks!”

Gerard and Travie spend the rest of the period watching Jon and Patrick talk, cringing at how awkward some of it gets, and it isn’t until the period is almost done, does Jon pull Patrick aside for a second.

“So… so I know you kinda like Pete-“ “-We’re just friends, nothing more-“ “But I’m just gonna… say this and you can choose to ignore it or whatever. But uh… If I were a drum I'd let you bang me all night long” Travie looks up at this, and Patrick’s eyes widen, as Jon rushes out of the room as the bell rings.

“What… a guy” Travie covers his mouth, in an effort not to laugh, and Patrick still looks like he’s in shock, as he grabs his books “Did that really just happen?” “Dude… I think it just did”

\---

PATRICK: I mean… Jon would help me get over this pathetic crush I have on Pete, wouldn’t he? Jon is so adorable, I mean he smells like weed all the time, but he’s still so adorable. And I mean his ass is… good-looking. He doesn’t wear girl jeans like Pete so… god, I shouldn’t be saying stuff like this. It’s what’s _inside_ that counts! And you know what, we really shouldn’t be objectifying people or comparing them to other people or-“

\---

( _Gabe and William sit in the closest in the Spanish room, and the door is locked. Their microphones are on_ )

“…And that was my day. How was yours?” William says, before the sound of chewing on potato chips fill the air

“It was alright. I’m still getting used to like, you know, _teaching._ Like you would think it would be easier, because I’ve played in front of audiences, I’ve played in front of _you,_ but this is a whole new thing. Plus I have you, looking all cute in class…” Gabe trails off, and there is an audible soft moan coming from the closest, and the sound of William giggling

“Shhh, stop! That tickles, you asshole” His giggling fades off, but he speaks again “I can’t believe we’re sitting in a closest making out. I can’t believe I’m here again, with you” He says softly, before his whispering is muffled “Oh, Gabe. We’re so ~~fucking~~ screwed”

Gabe sighs “I know… but we’ll make things work out. From the power invested in the Cobra-“ “Holy ~~shit~~ , you’re still on that?” William laughs hard and brash, cheering up instantly. Gabe makes a noise of protest, but it’s playful “Stop, don’t make fun of Cobras! And as I was _saying,_ if the Cobra brought us together again, then the Cobra has a plan for us. We’ll be okay”

William is still giggling when he says “Okay, I believe you, and I believe in Cobra. Now, can I…” He trails off, and the sound of buttons and a zipper being unzipped fills the air “Wait, we turned off the microphones, right?”

\---

_(The cameras follow Patrick to his car- or the car they think is his. Patrick just gives the camera a tired look, before opening the passenger seat door of a car that belongs to Pete)_

"Patrick! I was thinking Burger King, but then I was like, maybe we should go somewhere fancy. Today is your half birthday, it's only right!" Pete greets him, leaning over the center console to hug Patrick- but it’s not a hug as it is just burying his face in Patrick’s neck.

"It's my... half birthday..." Patrick furrows his eyebrows as Pete rolls his eyes playfully, moving back to his seat in the drivers seat "Yeah, idiot. April 27th was 6 months ago. Where do you want to go?"

\---

PATRICK: It's not that big of a deal that he remembers it was my half-birthday. Friends do that, don't they? Remember stuff like half-birthdays?

\---

Patrick thinks for a second, but he just shrugs with a smile "Uh I dunno... can we go to Chili’s? I want a burger really bad, and they make really good ones… for like… a cheap price"

"Hi, welcome to Chili’s!"

\---

PETE: I love birthdays- when I was little I thought I'd never make it past 27, and all of those years leading up to 27 were pretty miserable. But I don't know... after I turned 28, I felt like I'd broken a curse, and I just... I appreciate life a lot. And I love Patrick. So... yeah. Half-birthdays!

\---

( _The cameras are actually allowed in the restaurant, but they settle somewhere where they can leave Pete and Patrick in peace_ )

"So... how was your day?" Pete taps Patrick's foot under the table, and Patrick taps it back, and gives him a smile

"Good now. Vicky and Joe were making out on my _broken_ piano, so that wasn't cool. But it was okay. Uh, also... I think Jon Walker in Art hit on me?" Pete grins widely, and practically squealed "Holy ~~shit~~ , get it Stumpy! What happened?! What did he say?!"

"He was like something about him being a drum, and me like… banging him. I don't know" Patrick retorts, before sipping on the soda he ordered, before laughing a bit.

"It was like... cute. And funny! Which is weird, because I thought I'd never get over, uh, Jason" Jason was just the name Patrick had used so that he could talk about Pete… to Pete.

" ~~Fuck~~ yeah! Screw Jason! Wait no, don't screw Jason, screw Jon! ~~Fuck him! Fuck him~~!" Pete squeals again, a huge smile on his face as Patrick tries to get him to quiet down, giving a woman with 2 small children staring at them a quick apology "Pete! Inside voice?" Pete stops, but he just pouts at Patrick, before kicking at his feet again.  

"I'm just excited, 's all. You deserve this" Patrick frowns a little at that, before taking a long sip from his drink. He doesn’t like talking about his former relationships, as the camera men learned early on when they tried to get Patrick to talk

"Yeah. I guess. Anyways, anything to rant about?"

"Kinda. Mikey-"

\---

PATRICK: ( _stares into the camera_ )

PETE: Like no homo... well, actually full homo. Let's just say, all platonic- Patrick looks like he'd be a monster in bed, holy ~~shit~~. Like he carries himself like a cute little guy but it's the little things. Like the way that he grips a microphone, or how skillful his fingers are when they play a piano, or how he can be really commanding and whatnot. But.... you know. What was the question again? Oh yeah, Mikey is great! He kicked me out of his bed yesterday because he said my body heat was too much too handle and he needed to sleep in the cold because he has a, and in his words, bitch cold heart. It's fine though, cause I slept on his couch, and he made me coffee this morning, so….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry, im not gonna break jon's heart too much :"( and the amount of mikey bashing in here is so sad because tbh... mikey way is so good irl


	3. The Fundraiser: Part 2

( _Joe walks into the school, and looks in the direction of the band room- he has a huge grin on his face instantly_ )

"PIES!"

\---

JOE: This is best day for pies, too. Cause I kinda... ( _holds his two fingers to his mouth like a joint and pulls it away_ )... last night with Vic, and I have a serious case of the munchies now.

VICTORIA: Joe is like my best friend. Like imagine a friendship like Pete and Patrick's... but with more sex and drugs, and we're kinda maybe dating? I mean we live with each other and stuff and we like _do it_ , but... but there's more to it, you know? Like we don’t officially go on dates but we _do_ , because he always pays for me, even if it’s somewhere cheap. We’re kinda casual like that, you know? But I don’t call him my boyfriend, but I wouldn’t like go out and _date or sleep_ anyone else. I don’t mind if he takes me out to McDonalds, cause let me tell you, concert tickets _and_ marijuana don’t grow on trees. Plus, we have a cat together, Mittens, which is like almost having a baby together. 

\---

( _Patrick is sitting at a table in front of the door to his classroom/storage closet with Victoria and Joe)_

"This is so good" Joe moans, with a fork in his mouth- he's sharing his apple pie with Vicky, helping Patrick sort out everyone's orders

"It's not like you've said that, like, 30 times already" Vicky laughs, as Joe punches her lightly in the arm "I don't have to share this! I'm being _nice_!"

"Shut up, I hate you!" "I hate you more!"

Patrick sets his pen down, glaring at the two "I hate the both of you the most. Help? Please?" Joe and Vicky look at each other sheepishly, before picking up their pens

" _Thank_ you. All of the band kids got like multiple orders because Pete-"

"Get ya man, Stump!"

" _Pete_ gave extra credit to his students. But now I have like a ~~shit~~ ton of pies and... okay, he's not my man, first of all, and-" Joe shrugs, and takes another bite from his pie "Whatever you say. I'm just saying, you stare at Pete the way that Brendon stares at Ry-"

"Joe, holy ~~shit~~ , I used that same comparison!"

"High five!" They high-five, and burst into giggles, before putting on serious faces once Patrick glares at them. He _loathes_ the two of them together, but at the same time, it's adorable how in love with each other they are, and they don't even know it, so he can't be that mad. Except maybe right now

"Joseph. I can easily send you back downstairs and I can bring someone else up" Patrick narrows his eyes, as Joe takes yet another bite of his pie. "Okay, Grumpy. I'll behave. Haha, wait that rhymes, Grumpy Stumpy" Patrick bares his teeth at Joe in a Pete-like manner, and Vicky laughs.

They sit in silence for a while, all organizing papers, Patrick having to pause and go tell his class to quiet down every couple minutes, and Joe getting side-tracked staring at Vicky's face.

"Okay, so I'm gonna have Mike bring down stuff to the Social Studies department, William bring down stuff to the math department, the new Spanish teacher, and..." Patrick trails off, before Joe looks into the camera, averting his eyes as soon as he looks into it

\---

JOE: No, I haven't _told_ anyone yet. I mean, I should, shouldn't I? But like... they looked kinda familiar with each other and you know, it's not really my place to say anything... Okay, technically it is but... ~~fu~~ ~~ck~~ , I'm a horrible person, right? I just... William is a good student, then there's that teacher I've never talked to... ( _takes another bite of pie and gives the camera a miserable look_ )

\---

"Uh... guys..." Joe interrupts Patrick, and the camera zooms in on Patrick's red-with-rage face

"Joe. If you ~~fucking~~ interrupt me again, I-"

"It's super important! I swear" Joe takes a deep breath (before taking another bite of the pie) "Okay, so I don't know if I really saw this, or it was like the pot, but I saw it after school way after it wore off and-"

"Get. To. The. Point" Patrick says through gritted teeth, and Victoria taps her foot impatiently

"But I'm almost positive I saw the new Spanish teacher kissing William's forehead... and William was pressed against him, like his head against his shoulder and he looked up and then the Spanish teacher said something and then _kissed_ him and I don't know what to do!"

Joe stabs the pie with his fork hard, and takes another bite with a frown on his face, while Vicky and Patrick look at each other with _concern_ written all over their faces.

Because this is bad, isn't it? And they're adults, and they should _report_ this, but William is the valedictorian and their only hope for the musical and it's so fucked up but.... it's not _really_ their place to say anything, right?

"Okay... okay, let's pretend like we never heard this. Maybe it was the weed..." Patrick starts saying, before Vicky shakes her head "Weed doesn't make you see students and teachers making out"

"M-maybe I did just see something... we shouldn't say anything until we're 100% sure, right?" Joe says, as the 2 of them nod slowly

"Okay... So, pie forms?" Patrick says with a grimace, as they all go back to their work

\---

PATRICK: I promise I'll say something if I see it. That makes sense, right? Wait, if you guys follow them around, why don't _you_ report it?!

\---

( _William and Sisky are on their phones, waiting to bring down pies to their teachers_ )

"I'm so dead inside" William sighs, as Sisky hums, still scrolling through his tumblr "They said senior year would be easy" He continues, "And yet... I suffer. I got like no sleep last night cause I was babysitting and I was sexting with Gabe and-"

"TMI, Bill" Sisky sighs, still scrolling.

"And yet he still expects me to do homework. Like I know that I should do it, since you know, _valedictorian_ , but... I've ~~sucked his dick~~ , I deserve not having to do homework.... Sisky, agree with me" William whines, as Sisky looks up "I agree with you. Can we talk about my cishet problems? Cause Ashley got mad at me that I didn't notice she changed her hair, but that girl always changes her hair... and it's just a different shade of blue! And-"

"William! Sisky! Come" Patrick steps out of the music theory room, and they follow him into the closet/music theory room, and are greeted with the tremendous amount of pies.

"Woah" Sisky's mouth waters, and Patrick sighs "I know right. They've been, like, staring at me all day. And-"

"Patrick!" Joe calls out, before looking at Sisky and William, his face getting red upon looking at them, especially William. "Oh ~~shit~~ , sorry. Uh, Pete put on his pie thingy that he wanted you to deliver his stuff to him" He pauses and then looks at Sisky and William again, giving them a nervous look "Sorry guys"

Patrick lets out yet another sigh "Jesus Christ. Okay, William, just take this paper and deliver the pies, I already organized everything, just-" He waves his hand in the general direction of the pies "Find it. I'll be back" William and Sisky hold back laughter when they hear Patrick curse under his breath on the way out.

“It’s so weird… like teachers have friends. A life outside of school. Mr. Stump’s name is _Patrick._ And Mr. Wentz’s name is _Pete_ ” Sisky says, glancing over his list “ ~~Shit~~ , I think Ash is in Mr. Hurley’s class right now”

“And Mr. Saporta’s name is Gabe” William sighs contently, running his finger over Gabe’s name on his sheet of paper, as Sisky rolls his eyes “Dude. If you keep saying ~~shit~~ like that, you’re gonna get caught” He glances at the cameras “Dude, you’re already ~~fucked~~! They’re filming this ~~shit~~!”

\---

WILLIAM: If you could just… if you could just _edit_ all that stuff out…

SISKY: ( _shakes his head_ ) Sometimes, I wonder how he’s the smartest guy in the grade.

\---

( _Brendon approaches Ryan in the Teacher’s Cafeteria with an apple pie in his hands. Ryan is sitting by himself, his headphones in, and he’s scribbling in a notebook)_

“Whaaaaatcha doin’?” Brendon plops down in the seat next to Ryan, and Ryan pulls an earbud out, frowning “What the hell do you-“ He notices the pie in Brendon’s hands, and the frown from his face is replaced with a half-smile “Oh. Thanks” He takes the pie from Brendon, places it next to him, and he pops his earbud back into his ear.

He looks genuinely surprised when Brendon tugs on his arm. “How was your day?”

“Uh… fine… what about you?” Ryan asks, with pretty much no emotion in his voice. He was listening to “Paradise” by (you guessed it!) Coldplay, and he was writing his poetry for Pete’s after school club, Emo Time™ and he didn't really appreciate getting his flow interrupted.

Brendon just shrugs, and takes out a sandwich from his bag. "You know, I would normally be upset by your lack of emotion, but I’m just going to ignore that, since you’re a Virgo, and Virgos tend to be emotionless. Trust me- I took Astrology 101. Anyways, it was great. Thanks for asking” He takes a huge bite of his sandwich, and he grins at Ryan, all teeth and food. It’s pretty gross.

“How’d you know I was… ah, nevermind” Ryan gives up, before awkwardly sipping on his watered down coffee. He really wishes that Brendon would go away, but he knows that won’t be happening any time soon.

“I asked Spencer down in Math! And hey, what’s that you’re working on?” Brendon cranes his neck to look at the writing in Ryan’s notebook, and Ryan pulls it closer to him, narrowing his eyes

“A little piece called ‘Mind Your Own Business’. Don’t you have like, _a class_ to be in? Pies to deliver?” He’s getting a little impatient, because again, there’s only so much Brendon Boyd Urie one can take, especially when one hates him. Well, greatly dislikes, anyways.

“Come on! You and I, we aren’t that different. We’re both artists!” Brendon tries again, but Ryan shakes his head “It’s for Emo Time Trademark” “ _Emo Time Trademark_? What the hell is that?”

“It’s Pete’s after school club, for angsty teenagers who hate their town” Ryan begins to explain, before Brendon giggles “And for angsty adults” “Yeah, whatever. Anyways, we just sit in a circle and discuss our poems. You wouldn’t understand, it’s nothing like the… Ariana Grande ~~bullshit~~ you listen to”

\---

BRENDON: I hate when he gets like this ( _wipes away a fake tear_ ) Ariana Grande is _good!_ Who the hell wants to listen to melancholy, boring as ~~fuck~~ Coldplay all the damn time? I like Coldplay _a lot,_ but you really gotta hate yourself if that’s the only artist you listen to on a regular basis. Then again, I hate myself a lot so… maybe I should look into that.

\---

“Mother Ariana is good! She tears down misogynists one by one! Come on Ry, please let read? Please? Pretty please? Pretty-“

“Has anyone ever told you how ~~fucking~~ annoying you are?” Ryan huffs, but he hands over his notebook reluctantly. Brendon has this look on his face like he can’t believe he got Ryan to listen to him, but he takes the notebook quickly.

“All the time! Now…. Can I read it out loud?” Ryan shakes his head, but Brendon starts reading anyways “A daydream spills from my corked head/ Breaks free of my wooden neck/-“

“ _Not_ out loud. Or I’m taking it back” He warns, and Brendon gives him a mischievous smirk “That’s hot. Threaten me more”

\---

RYAN: _(looks into the camera and screams with his mouth closed_ )

\---

“It’s _personal,_ Brendon. You wouldn’t understand, no one else would understand, so you don’t have to broadcast it to the world-” Ryan begins to say, and Brendon frowns “Then explain it. I have all day. Well, I have 30 more minutes, anyways”

They spend the rest of Brendon’s period going over Ryan’s poetry- the worst (or best) part about it, though, is that Ryan doesn’t even seem to mind Brendon’s constant questioning- Ryan is so self-absorbed, he _loves_ answering questions about himself.

\---

( _William stands in front of Gabe’s classroom, pacing up and down with a pumpkin pie in his hands_ )

“Be cool, Bill. No one is gonna know, no one is gonna find out, how the hell would they know?” He mutters to himself, before glancing at the cameras. He paces faster, “Oh ~~fuck~~ , I’m so ~~fucking~~ screwed”

10 minutes later, he finally musters up courage to walk into the classroom. Everyone looks up to watch him, since he’s interrupting their lesson, and Gabe looks a little scared when he sees William approach him.

“Um… I have… I have a d-delivery from the Music Department…” William stutters badly, cursing at himself in his head, his eyes boring into the floor.

Because William has spoken at conferences, at Model UN, and he’s never been so scared and nervous in his life, and he’s _delivering a pie._ This is so not sexy, he thinks.

“Oh. Thanks” Gabe takes the pie from William’s hands, and their fingers touch, and William looks up into Gabe’s eyes just as Gabe looks down at him. And they both are so horrified, and the cameras are catching everything, the way that Gabe and William are just _staring_ at each other. William almost leans in to kiss him just on impulse, but then Gabe clears his throat, and William nods “N-no problem! Bye!” He squeaks, walking out of the room, and practically tripping on his shoelaces on the way out.

He looks at the cameras, and says into one of them “I hate my goddamn life”

\---

GABE: I haven’t really made any friends here, besides maybe Pete up in English, so I’ve been mostly grading papers, and trying not to have heart attacks because of Bill. I mean, there’s only 6 more months of this, and then we can… like be public, but ~~shit~~. No one ever wrote a book about how to hide your relationship with your student that you met before you started teaching and were in a band.

WILLIAM: This excites me, and I love Gabe, and I love the thought of my parents absolutely losing their ~~shit~~ , but I don’t like the thought of, you know, Gabe going to _jail._ I’d miss him way too much. And it’s _jail._

\---

( _Patrick walks in on Pete and Mikey talking in Pete’s classroom_ )

“Oh! Uh, sorry, I’ll just-“ Patrick begins to say, turning on his heel, with a couple of different pies in his hands, before Mikey scoffs. 

“No, stay. Pete can’t handle being alone like a normal functioning adult apparently” Patrick turns back to look at Pete looking down at his hands, and to see Mikey with crossed arms. Now that Patrick’s looking, Pete looks like he’s shaking, but Mikey just frowns, giving Pete another glance, before getting up, and brushing past Patrick, slamming the door behind him.

Once Mikey leaves, Pete lets out a shuddering breath, and looks at Patrick with such an empty look in his eyes, that Patrick feels his heart clench. “I can stay here, it’s fine. I have things to grade”

“ _No,_ what the hell is Mikey’s problem?!” Patrick sits down on Pete’s desk, and sets the pies down. Pete just shrugs, looking back down at his shaking hands “I hate being alone. I hate when he leaves me because… I mean I like ~~fucking~~ him, you know? But I’m a _romantic,_ I like the roses and I like the dates, and he acts like I’m only good at sex and-“ Pete runs his hand through his hair “It’s _the worst._ And I don’t think I can do this anymore, but he’s so addicting. He’s like… I don’t know. He’s the Ryan to my Brendon”

Patrick snorts at that comment “Good comparison. Here, let’s talk over pie” Patrick opens up the box, and hands Pete a fork. “I think you should break up with him. I mean… Pete, he’s so unnecessarily mean”

Pete grabs the fork, and stabs the pie. “I know. ~~Fuck~~ , _I know._ You don’t know Mikey the way I do, man. I like that he’s so mysterious, I like that he’s like a closed book, but I hate the way that I can’t get him to crack, that he doesn’t want me to sleep next to him even after he ~~fucks~~ me” He shrugs “But… whatever. I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. I’ll write some poetry about it, and then burn it” He plasters on a smile, and taps Patrick with his fork “How about you tell me about Jon?”

\---

PATRICK: Sometimes I want to run Mikey Way over with my car. Other times, I want to hug him and ask him who hurt him.

PETE: Yeah, I’m not answering that question. Anyways, you guys should definitely film Emo Time Trademark. ~~Shit~~ is fire A-F. Ryan Ross started hysterically sobbing in the middle of his poem last week ( _starts laughing, pauses, and then continues to laugh_ ) He said it was about the first time he saw Coldplay live.

\---

( _Victoria is putting money into a safe in the Music Department, but she takes some bills and stuffs them in her pocket from the fundraiser money_ )

VICTORIA: ~~Fuck~~ you, Joe and I need money to buy tickets to see Star Wars next week. ( _footage of Joe hiding in a bathroom stall, muttering about buying tickets for the opening night, and then screaming with excitement at his phone, is shown_ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is becoming less funny and more dramatic as the chapters go on and im sorry :( 
> 
> also i've never seen star wars but im gonna try to base an chapter off of it so... wish me luck!


	4. Kiss A Wookie, Kick A Droid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, i really havent seen any of the films. but like A LOT of people that i know are excited for it and we're even singing a star wars song IN chorus so i was like... why not. sorry if this is horrible gjkjgkdj

( _The camera films Joe jumping up and down in his classroom, and his excited yelling at the students is barely audible through the door "WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT PYTHAGOREAN IDENTITIES TODAY! SIN COSINE COSINE SIN!!! COSINE COSINE SIN SIN!"_ )

JOE: Yeah, I'm really hyped today. I almost started crying in class when I was going over double angles. I've been looking forward to this day since 'Return Of The Jedi' came out, literally. And I wasn’t even born then! I came out of the womb waiting for this movie. But really, it’s been 10 years since the last movie came out and I’m dying. Vic got us tickets ( _footage of Victoria stealing money from the fundraiser is shown_ ) last minute, so that we could go see it with all of our friends... plus Mikey Way... and it's gonna be awesome. Vic and I have also been watching the movies in order, well besides the first two movies cause I mean lets be real- if you’re gonna skip any Star Wars movie, you skip Episodes 1 and 2. Common sense, man. _Also_ , I don’t think I’ve said this many words in a row my entire life, either. Today… is great.                                                                                           

VICTORIA: Yeah, I couldn't give a flying ~~fuck~~ about Star Wars. I’d give it a solid 6.5 out of 10, maybe, only cause Princess Leia is such a badass. But Joe is excited about it, and he always sits through all of my foofoo violin ~~shit~~ , so… you gotta remember the give and take in a relationship.

RYAN: I'm kinda indifferent to Star Wars. But uh... ( _scratches his head_ ) I'm gonna go see it tonight. And ~~fuck~~ you, yeah I'm going with Brendon. He offered to _pay_ okay, I spent all of my money buying antique notebooks to write my poetry in, and I freaked and bought a bunch of spray cheese cause I love Cheese Whiz. Sue me!

GABE: Pete up in English invited me to go with him and his boyfriend to see Star Wars tonight, which is pretty cool, I guess. Also this is off topic but... everyone here is gay. Is that normal?

\---

( _The camera pans the Teacher's Cafeteria before landing on Gabe, Pete, and Ryan_ )

"Thanks for inviting me, man. I really appreciate it" Gabe begins to say, before Pete shushes him "Dude! Anything for the lead singer of Midtown, what the ~~fuck~~! I still can't believe you used to be in a band too"

Pete and Gabe became a lot closer after Pete realized why Gabe looked so familiar- Gabe was the lead singer of Midtown. And Gabe realized Pete looked so familiar since he was in Arma Angelus while studying for his degree. Because normal high schools employ ex-members of punk bands as their teachers… obviously.

"Yeah! That's so weird! Oh my god!" Ryan says sarcastically, before angrily stabbing his wheat-thins into the Cheese Whiz on his plate. Gabe and Pete glance at him, before resuming their conversation, leaving Ryan to fume by himself.

"So" Pete says, wiggling his eyebrows, and Ryan groans, already knowing what's coming next- relationships aren’t even that big of a deal, but all of his friends are going through that stage where they think that they’re too old to be single. _Why be in a relationship_ , he thinks, _when you can devote your life to Coldplay and your dog_.  

"Dude, he _just_ got here! Who could he possibly be into?"

Pete shrugs, before looking at Gabe "Is there anyone you're like, interested in? Cause I can totally hook you up, man. Women? Men? Both? We also have a nonbinary-"

Gabe looks down to his hands to hide the blush on his face. Because he can't exactly tell the two of them that he's involved with _William Beckett_. The school valedictorian (although Bill can say the dumbest things in the world- it’s endearing, though), lead of the musical, and overall the person everyone would least expect, and people they’d be the most upset about.

"Uh... not really… I'll look around" Gabe trails off, before changing the subject. "So, what time should I meet up with you guys tonight?"

\---

GABE: I feel... I feel like I need some alcohol in my system. Can we get wasted?

\---

Pete shrugs, "Uh, probably nine in the evening. That's when they start selling the alcohol cheaper, and I have to be, like, half buzzed to handle Star Wars" Pete loves Star Wars, but doesn’t exactly love it as much as Mikey (who is supporting a Star Wars phone case and coffee mug) or Joe, and therefore can’t stand when the two of them can rant for hours about it.  

 

\---

( _The camera pans the Art department room before landing on Travie, Jon, and Patrick listening to music while doing their work_ )

"Hey Patrick?" Jon calls out, and Patrick stops dancing in his seat (it's adorable and quite horrifying at the same time) to look up at him "Yeah?"

"Are you going to see Star Wars tonight with everyone?" Patrick nods, moving a little closer to Jon so that he can hear him better.

"Uh... did you... I mean it's not a date but I mean if you wanted to sit with me or something, and I could buy you some beer and popcorn and-" Jon begins to say, as Patrick blushes- oh _yeah_. Jon is into him. Which is kind of a miracle? Because Jon is cute and he's nothing like Patrick's ex-boyfriend, which is refreshing.

"-we could go to dinner afterwards" Jon finishes, and Patrick snaps out of his thoughts, to look back at Jon. "Yeah. That sounds great, Jon. Hold on, let me give you my number" Patrick turns to reach into his bag and Jon pumps his fist into the air, a huge grin on his face.

Once Patrick and Jon exchange numbers, the bell rings, so they move into their respective rooms- Patrick goes down to the band room since he's also the band conductor and Jon gathers his class to go outside and take pictures. But it's kinda interesting because this is the first time in a week that Patrick hasn't screamed at the band, and Jon _doesn't_ feel the urge to smoke a blunt after dealing with his students

\---

PATRICK: So... I think I'm getting over my crush on Pete? Which is amazing. A miracle, really. Since I've sorta liked him since I started teaching here, even a little during my relationship with my ex-boyfriend. ( _shudders at the mention of him_ ) Ew. _Anyways_ , yeah! Jon! Very attractive! Beautiful man!

JON: Am I excited for Star Wars? Uh, if by that you mean if I'm excited to hang out with Patrick, then yeah. I’ve never actually _seen_ the movies, but I think that everyone on the planet has knowledge about it. Luke and Leia are sister and brother, but they kiss. ‘Luke, I am your father’. Something about lightsabers and Obi-whatever. Yeah, I know the basics…

\---

( _The cameras are set up in front of the movie theater, and they zoom in on Ryan visibly rolling his eyes on noticing the cameras are there- he even turns to Brendon and says “Even here?”)_

“Okay, can you go over it again?” Ryan pleads, as Brendon nods, giving the cameras (well, the camera man) a little wave, before turning back to Ryan. “Sure. So the story starts off with…”

Ryan hates to admit it, because, well, he hates feeling dependent, and being dependent on _Brendon_ is even worse, but he doesn’t really watch the series, and the only reason he’s here tonight… well, he’s not entirely sure anymore. He tells himself he’s there because of the food Brendon is going to buy him, but he’s sure he could have manipulated Brendon into buying him food at a restaurant, or something. But Ryan doesn’t think too much of it, and orders a large popcorn for himself. He pulls out some Cheese Whiz “I’ve got some cheese”

\---

RYAN: What?! I love cheese.

BRENDON: So… this is like our _second_ date in less than 2 weeks! And you know what they say about third dates! ( _starts winking_ ) If you didn’t know, it means we’re gonna ~~fuck~~. ( _keeps winking_ )

RYAN: And you know, I love Chris Martin and support him through anything, but the fact that he married a woman who claimed that she would rather smoke crack, which by the way, isn’t as bad as one would think, than eat spray cheese, is appalling. Spray cheese is _amazing_

BRENDON: Imagine… Ryan’s hands roaming my body, whispering sweet nothings into my ear as he ~~fucks me into oblivion~~ ( _sighs contently_ )

RYAN: And another thing- spray cheese isn’t as bad as everyone thinks it is. I’d like to give all spray cheese haters a piece of my mind, including Gwyneth Paltrow- Enjoy life a little. And smoking crack isn't bad. 

\---

_(The cameras film as Pete orders two beers for himself, and pans the area- most of the teachers are waiting on line. Patrick and Jon giggle to themselves, and Mikey looks back to them with a glare)_

“You want _two_ beers, sir?” The person at the counter watches the camera nervously, before turning back to Pete, who nods “Yes, please” She shrugs, and gives them to Pete, as Mikey watches on.

“Pete-“ He begins to say, before Pete raises his eyebrow “Oh, you suddenly care about me now?” Pete’s still bitter about the incident a couple of days before, which is rare because usually Mikey says stuff like that all of the time. But, Mikey always forgets that Pete forgives but doesn’t forget, and that, y’know, the words that come out of his mouth actually hurt Pete sometimes.

“Don’t be like that” Mikey grabs his popcorn from the counter, and begins to say something, before getting interrupted by Patrick laughing- he grits his teeth at that. _Since when did Patrick have a boyfriend_ , he thinks. _And since when did Patrick have a boyfriend that is Jon Walker_.

“Don’t be like _what,_ Mikey? Do you want me to sit alone? So I don’t bother you with my company?” Pete gulps down half of his beer, as Mikey whines “Pete. Stop. Don’t make this unpleasant, okay? We’re watching _Star Wars._ I’ll take you out later as an apology, okay?” Pete reluctantly nods, but he still gives Mikey a small smile “Okay, deal. But we’re definitely going to _my_ choice” Mikey leans over to kiss Pete, before walking into the room where the movie is being shown and sitting next to him “Of course”

Behind them, Jon and Patrick walk in, and sit a little towards the back of the theater- Patrick swears that it’s because there are few seats left, but really, there are a lot of seats left over.

“So… do you _like_ Star Wars?” Jon asks, as Patrick gives him a half shrug “Eh. I’ve seen every movie but I wasn’t like _blown_ away by it, y’know?”

Jon nods, before wrapping an arm around Patrick’s shoulder- Patrick’s heart beats a little faster, as Jon gives him a lazy smirk “Gotcha. So you wouldn’t mind if we totally didn’t watch the movie, and instead made out, right?” Patrick smiles, and leans his head into Jon’s chest, before moving his hands to play with the hem of Jon’s shirt

\---

PATRICK: I’d say it was moving too fast if I wasn’t already yearning to ~~fuck~~ him on the way over here. Jon is so funny and attractive, okay?! And ~~shit~~ wait… Mom, if you ever watch this, sorry you had to hear that… but _look_ at him!

\---

( _Just as the cameras are about to film Joe, Victoria, and Gabe walk in, an usher tells the camera men that they can’t film in the movie theater, so the camera men leave, and wait outside for everyone to come out- but, they are surprised when Pete stumbles out an hour later, and pulls a cigarette out of his pocket, leaning against the wall- he looks upset, and gives the cameras a tired look)_

Pete just sits like that, taking deep breaths and inhaling the cigarette smoke, staring off into the distance- the camera men aren’t allowed to intervene at all, but one of them gives the other a look, like they want to comfort him.

“Don’t you guys get tired of just watching?” Pete mutters to them, before the door leading outside opens- it’s Patrick. And although Pete loves Patrick, he was hoping Mikey would check on him.

“Hey. You okay?” Patrick asks, before sitting next to him- he lowers his voice a little so that the microphones don’t pick up on it as well. Pete just shrugs “Define okay. If you mean half drunk and being abandoned by the world then yeah. Great”

“What happened?” Patrick presses lightly- Pete eyes him and groans. Great. He’s not only interrupted Mikey’s perfect movie, but now he’s interrupting Patrick’s date. Patrick has a hickie on the side of his neck that makes Pete smile a little, since he knows Patrick is going to have to hide it tomorrow, since they have rehearsal for their concert but Patrick has a hickie, and that means that him and Jon were kissing, and now Pete is ruining their date and _fuck_

“Nothing. Go back to your date” He smiles weakly at him, and Patrick rolls his eyes “No, dumbass. You’re upset. You don’t have to tell me what happened if you don’t wanna, but I’m your friend, and I refuse to see you upset and not do anything. Jon can wait”

“You’re too good for me, Rick” He begins to say, as Patrick snorts at that. “And… I don’t know. I wanted Mikey to put his arm around me. Because that’s what couples do. But he’s so distant and cold, and he didn’t, and when I tried to, he tried to shrug me off, and then I drank more, and then… ~~fuck~~ , and then I tried to hold his hand, and he pushed my hand away and-“ He gulps “-I know that this is usual Mikey behavior. And technically, we’re only ~~fucking~~. But we’ve been _only ~~fucking~~ _ for 3 years, and I’m so tired. So ~~fucking~~ tired, and I love him and he acts like I’m not even here. I like closed books, not _locked and threw away the key_ books”

Patrick’s eyebrows furrow, but he nods, and takes Pete’s hand in his- if he felt a spark with Jon before, this is fireworks, and he sighs internally. Because, nope, he still likes Pete a little. And he hates seeing Pete like this, all torn up and smoking and it makes Patrick feel all gross inside that Pete can’t leave Mikey, even if Mikey isn’t right for him. But then, isn’t he leading Jon on as well?

“Oh, Pete” He sighs, before moving a little closer to him “I think that you should break things off with him-“ “Yeah. If only if it were that easy, just being able to fall out of love like that” Yeah, Pete has a point there, if Patrick could fall out of love with Pete, he would in a second. “I know. But… okay, whatever you decide to do, I’m here for you, alright?” Pete nods, before adding something else that the cameras can’t pick up.

\---

GABE: Yeah the movie was alright, I guess. I was texting Bill the entire time but ( _shrugs_ ) what can you do? The beer was good though, and that’s all that matters.

JOE: ( _grins widely at the camera_ )

VICTORIA: It was okay- watching Ryan and Brendon spray cheese on their popcorn was a lot more entertaining, and watching Ryan spray cheese _into his mouth_ was the best. 10 out of 10!

MIKEY: There are only two things I can think of that were better than that movie- coffee, and the original Star Wars movie. I _highly_ suggest you watch it!

\---

( _The camera films Jon and Patrick eating at a restaurant from afar_ )

“So… that was fun” Patrick takes a sip from his drink, as Jon nods “Totally. I loved the part when… wow, I can’t even say I got anything out of it” Patrick rolls his eyes playfully “Shut up, I get kinda crazy when I kiss, okay?”

"So, is Pete okay?" Jon asks, before shoveling some spaghetti in his mouth, studying Patrick's face as he shrugs.

"I don't know. Mikey is kind of a dick to him always, and he doesn't  _see_ that, well he does, kinda, but he doesn't see how badly he needs to get out of that relationship, or whatever the fuck they have going on. Like... he deserves a lot better than what he's getting" Patrick says, as Jon sets his fork down, and sighs.

"Okay um... before we go on another date or something, I just want to make sure... well, you don't still have any feelings for him, right?" Patrick pauses, and Jon notices, before nodding "It's fine, really. I just... the way you talk about him, man. But it's cool, we can be just friends, I-"

 _What?_ Is Patrick  _really_ that easy to read?

"No! I don't... I mean this was fun, you know? I had a good time" He motions to the hickie on his neck, and Jon laughs a little at that "Yeah, it was. And I really  _do_ like you. But if you love him, then you love him. And I don't want us to like date, and we have all of these unresolved problems and issues, and whatnot. If anything, I'm rooting for you guys" Patrick blushes, but he feels kind of embarrassed, because loving Pete is so.... ugh. But at least they got to end anything before him and Jon started dating, at least Jon is pretty chill about this. Patrick supposes it's all the weed Jon smokes.

"Thanks... wow, I can't believe the first person I'm really telling this to is  _you..._ This is really awkward" Jon laughs, before shaking his head "'S alright, I've had weirder first dates. I mean if you want to talk about it...?"

And that's how Patrick spent an hour ranting about Pete to his date (well, his ex-date... kinda)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter i'll add bill & tai... back in! cause i kinda missed them, and plus i keep forgetting that most of the characters are teachers, so next chapter i'll try to do something with an assembly or something! and i dont think i thanked everyone in general, but THANK YOU SO MUCH for leaving kudos and comments! i really appreciate them!


	5. The Winter Concert

( _The camera pans the auditorium, filled with students tuning their instruments, student practicing harmonies, and Patrick, Brendon, and Victoria run around the stage looking for a microphone after several attempts at getting everyone to calm down fails_ )

“I just saw it! I just fudging saw it!” Patrick yells, censoring his language in front of the students, but Victoria does no such thing when she slams her hands down on the piano keys and screams “WHICH ONE OF YOU ~~FUCKERS~~ STOLE THE MICROPHONE? UNLESS YOU WANT TO NOT HEAR ANYTHING AND GET A FAILING GRADE, GIVE IT UP!” Brendon nods, before pushing Victoria away- only he can abuse that piano

“Do it!” Brendon yells, and Patrick runs his fingers through his head when one of the band students sheepishly hands Patrick the microphone. He grits his teeth as he takes it from the student’s hand, and sets it up, before coughing into the microphone.

“I’m _really_ trying not to yell. But this behavior is the reason _why_ I yell” Patrick says in a surprisingly steady voice, and some of the students laugh at this- riling Patrick up is their favorite activity.  “Anyways, I’m going to be calm- As you guys know, tomorrow is our concert, and-“

“ORCHESTRA RULES!” Someone randomly shouts out, and “NO, BAND IS THE BEST!” follows it. And this continues for a _while_ until Brendon slams on the keys again, glaring at the students “The sooner we get through this, the sooner we can rehearse. And… chorus is definitely the best, just F-Y-I” The chorus students cheer, and Patrick looks over to Brendon and makes eye-contact with him as he draws a line across his throat, before pointing to Brendon with a glare. Brendon just bats his eyelashes at him.

“ _Please_ let’s not have this discussion now” Everyone slowly quiets down and Patrick tries to get everything out before he starts cursing for real; Concert time is always stressful for Patrick, since he’s the head of music, and the fate of the concert lies directly in his hands.

“Okay! I know most of you know the drill; you dress according to the dress code. If you don’t dress according to the dress code, you do not perform, okay, you do not perform and you get a 50 for a grade, and I don’t want to fail any students for wearing the wrong color or not covering their shoulders, I don’t make the rules, the superintendent does” He gets out miraculously in one breath, and one of the students raises their hand

“What?!” Victoria barks at him, and he yells “Then why does Miss Asher get to break the dress code and dress like… like the way she does!”

\---

VICTORIA: Last year, I supported a latex dress that outlined my nipples perfectly- Joe had a hard on the entire concert, because I didn’t have on any panties either ( _shrugs_ )

PATRICK: I’m going to gouge my eyes out! I’m gonna ~~fucking~~ gouge my goddamn eyes out!

\---

“Well, maybe because Miss. Asher is a teacher and you’re a student?! Does that make _sense_?!” Patrick hisses, as more students laugh, and he lets out a shuddering breath. He lets his students rile him up way too easily “And that was... like, beyond inappropriate! Say you’re sorry or... or get sent to the AP!”

“Sorry” The students calls out, and Victoria shrugs at Patrick before eyeing the students left. “Alright, next order of business- you have to get here on time, because everyone has to warm up properly. And soloists, where are you?” William, The Butcher, Mike, and Sisky all raise their hands “You guys have to get here 15 minutes earlier just to go over your parts once more” They all nod, and lower their hands.

\---

WILLIAM: I actually have two solos this year. One for singing, and the other in band ( _flips his hair_ ) What can I say? ( _flips his hair again)_ I’m pretty much a God

THE BUTCHER: William just got that singing solo because no one in this school gives as much of a ~~shit~~ as he does. Which, I guess, is a good thing, huh?

WILLIAM: I love concert time. Nothing as fun as your parents calling you homophobic slurs when you sing with the chorus! At least Gabe was happy for me ( _twirls hair with his finger_ )

\---

“And I think that’s it? Your individual teachers will go over your specific details later on but… let’s practice walking!”  He turns the microphone and listens to the students groan as they get up line up and practice walking on and off the stage- you would think they would understand how to walk and off the stage, but it’s a lot more complicated as one would think.

“If I kill myself, will you arrange my funeral?” Patrick sighs once he walks away from the microphone, as Victoria pats his shoulder “Don’t joke about suicide. But sure. Should I ask Pete to deliver your eulogy?” Patrick gives her the middle finger, and Brendon, listening on, laughs.

“Shut the ~~fuck~~  up, Brendon. Didn’t you arrange a piece just for Ryan?”  Patrick growls, as Brendon nods proudly “Yeah I did, and it’s ~~fucking~~ awesome, for your information”

\---

BRENDON: It really wasn’t that big of a deal! Victoria had me over one night, we drank a bottle of whiskey, and she taught me how to play the violin in a night. Then, I just… wrote a piece to fit my chorus students and added myself and Victoria into it, and then photocopied it, copyrighted it, and voila! It’s really not that hard. I’d do a lot to ~~suck Ryan’s cock.~~

\---

( _Patrick and Jon are sitting outside in the gazebo- Jon’s smoking a joint while Patrick sits across from him, moving his hands wildly_ )

“-And it sucks! He doesn’t see that I’m right here! Maybe it’s all of the eyeliner he coats on his eyes, but I don’t know. Ugh! Ugh!” Patrick says to Jon, before looking up and sighing. Jon’s nodding at him, and his voice is heavy and slow when he says “Yeah, dude. Totally”

“You don’t care, do you?” Patrick frowns up at him, and Jon shrugs “Not that I don’t care. It’s just… repetitive. Like dude…” He stops for a moment before continuing “Love isn’t going to just come to you. You have to take risks, and you have to work for it, and it’s exhausting. But, sitting here ranting to me? It’s not gonna do you any good”

\---

JON: Getting over Patrick was kinda easy, because he mostly just talks about Pete all the time. It’s okay though, there’s not much to talk about when you’re a teacher, it’s mostly tiring and annoying and you can’t even catch up with things in the media, or politics because you’re somehow always grading ~~shit~~ , or trying to write up lesson plans. And I’m a _photography teacher_

\---

“I know, I know, I know. But… I’m just so stressed with this concert, and I just… you’re right. I should stop being a baby and do something. But I can’t bring myself to do it. Maybe some other day” He gets up when he hears the bell ring, and he nudges at Jon “Ready to go back into the suffer building”

Jon puts out the joint, and glances at the building with a sigh “Never. Good luck with the concert though, I’ll be there tonight if I’m not too busy” Patrick smiles at him “You’re the best, thanks”

From a distance, Mikey stares at the two of them, before flipping off the camera

\---

MIKEY: How did Patrick land a guy like Jon? I mean… Jon is so muscular and tall, and he probably doesn’t cry when he ~~fucks~~. Unlike some people, who run a poetry club called “Emo Time Trademark” ( _rolls his eyes_ )

JON: I mean, Patrick is really down to earth when he’s not rambling on about Pete. And he’s not an asshole all the time. Plus, I like his music taste, and he’s super talented. And oh yeah, he’s not an asshole all the goddamn time. But again, I’m kinda over him. You know who is hot and gay, though? Spencer, down in Math. I’m gonna ask Ryan Ross about him.

\---

( _It’s dark outside, and Pete is cutting some roses off of a random bush in front of the school with a knife- he’s dressed up in a blazer and a vintage band tee-shirt, and he has a paperboy hat on)_

“ ~~Shit~~ ” He mutters, once he cuts his finger- he sucks the digit into his mouth, before he pulls out a couple of flowers from the bush. He waves to the camera with his free hand, before walking back into the building- students are running around in black and white clothing, and the sound of Patrick roaring at some students is already heard.

“Patrick! Little guy!” Pete yells out, before stopping in front of the band room, opening the door. Patrick’s wearing a suit, and he’s wearing a fedora, and he looks great, but he’s yelling about the dress-code, obviously, and a couple of the students look relieved when Pete walks in, because that means that Patrick will calm down.

“Pete, what-“ Patrick’s eyes are filled with rage, but he looks down at Pete’s hands, and his bloody fingers, and the roses, and he closes his mouth. He looks back to his students, and sighs “Just call your parents or ask Miss Asher for a change of clothes” They quickly scurry out of room, and Patrick takes the roses from Pete’s hands with a raised eyebrow

“Pete. What the hell happened?” Pete shrugs, sitting on a plastic chair, before pulling out some tissues from his pocket, and wrapping his finger in it. “I was fighting with Mikey and I forgot to get you flowers, so I just picked some from outside. I’m sorry”

“Flowers? You didn’t have to get me flowers” Patrick pulls out a bandage from his drawer, and some anti-bacterial wipes, from all of the paper cuts he gets in his class. He walks over to Pete, and unwraps his finger. “It’s your big night! Of course I did”

Pete winces, and curses when Patrick holds his finger with one hand, and wipes it with the wipes with the other. He leans his head on his arm, and Patrick wraps his finger in the band-aid, before tossing the wipe away “Not really my big night, just the  director of the big night” He grins, before picking up the flowers, and holding it to his nose “Smells like cigarette smoke. But I appreciate the effort”

Pete scoffs, before leaning down to give Patrick a side-hug. “Good luck, man. I’ll be in the audience next to Ryan and Gabe, okay?”

No Mikey? Interesting. But, Patrick can’t be so happy when he sees Pete’s huge frown. He just wants to reach over and kiss everything okay, and the fact that he can’t hurts a lot, but probably not as much as Pete’s hurting right now. He briefly wonders if Mikey broke up with him, but Pete would be a bigger mess if that happened

“Alright, cool. Try to have fun?” Pete gives him a half-assed shrug “I’ll try. Where’s your boyfriend?” He tries to smile at this, as Patrick gives him a pointed look “Not my boyfriend! Friend!”

“Friends make out with each other?” Pete chuckles at that, and waves goodbye as Patrick yells after him “It was one time! Let me live!”

\---

PATRICK: Flowers. Roses. He cut his finger for me. He _bled_ for me! That has to count for something, right? God, I’m pathetic

\---

( _William’s pacing the floor of the Spanish room up and down, while Gabe watches on with a worried expression- the cameras film from the window_ )

“I’m a failure! I’m gonna ~~fuck~~ it up and everyone is going to hate me and Mr. Stump is going to hate me for ruining his night and my parents are gonna-“ He pauses for a second, before he laughs wildly “-they’re gonna hear about it! They’re not even going to witness it because they hate me and they aren’t even coming!” “Bilvy-“

“And you’re going to be there, and you’re such a good performer and I’m ~~shit~~! Oh my god, I’m ~~shit~~ , I’m gonna ~~fuck~~ it up so bad and you’re gonna break up with me for someone _practical-“_

 _“Bill”_ Gabe reaches over to grab William’s hand, stopping him from pacing, and William looks at him before looking away, to the ground- he’s expecting the worst, like Gabe really is going to break up with him. And it’d be ‘practical’ if Gabe broke up with him, wouldn’t it? Because then, no one would have to find out about a secret relationship if there was no secret relationship to begin with. But, moments like this, when William’s alone (ish) with his destructive thoughts, Gabe’s kind of the only one who can calm him down

“I believe in you, baby. You’re so good, you’re amazing, and I know it’s a lot of pressure out there-“ William whines, giving Gabe a look that reads ‘Yeah, it is’ “-but I’ll be there, and whenever you’re feeling nervous, just know that I love you” His thumb grazes a spot on William’s wrist, and he rubs it “And you just look at me, if you need reassurance”

“What if I disappoint you? What if I look at you and I still mess up?” William’s shoulders slump, and he pulls his hand away from Gabe’s, looking back to his shoes. But, Gabe just moves his hand under William’s chin, and pulls his face up so that William can look at Gabe in the eyes again “That doesn’t matter to me. You don’t have to be perfect and the valedictorian with me, you know. You just be Bill, and that’s good enough for me”

William leans down to kiss Gabe, but before he can, the door swings open, and Joe, looking for William, sees the two of them about to kiss- and if William was nervous before, the flash of fear in Gabe’s eyes makes him feel about a thousand times worse.

“OH MY GOD” Joe practically screams, covering his eyes- his heart is beating really fast, because he’s 100% sober right now, and he should have expected this, why else would William be practicing in _Gabe’s_ classroom, but… it’s _true._

“I can explain!” William squeaks out, moving away from Gabe, his eyes wide in fear. “Yeah, we weren’t doing anything!” Gabe says, but he says it with downward cast eyes and a less than convincing voice, like he expects the worse.

\---

JOE: Holy ~~_shit_~~

_\---_

Joe looks between the two of them- William’s eyes fill with tears and he grips the desk tighter, because he _can’t_ start crying, and Gabe’s staring at Joe in disbelief, like he really _can’t_ believe they got caught. But Joe feels sort of… _bad_ for them, and William has to go on in a couple of minutes, and he can’t have William crying, because Patrick will kill him, and…

“I’m… I’m not gonna say anything” Joe begins to say “But, holy ~~shit~~ , you guys need to be more secretive… like. If it was anyone else, and if you weren’t the valedictorian-“ Joe begins to say, before he gets a phone call. He eyes the two of them, before picking it up- Patrick’s on the other line “I’m not going to yell. I’m not going to yell, but where the ~~_fuck_~~ are you?”

“Hold on, I’m getting him” Joe motions towards the door “They want you downstairs, Bill” But William shakes his head, holding the desk tighter “I can’t just… You’re not going to tell anyone are you? I'm gonna throw up”

Joe feels a little sick, because he was planning on telling eventually, but if there’s one thing Joe hates more than anything in the world, it's crying teenagers- and William’s already shaking, and he’s looking to Gabe for help, but Gabe can’t even do anything except give him a 'comforting look' despite the fact that his heart is about to explode out of his chest.

“No, I’m not. Swear to God. Please don't puke” Joe crosses his heart (even though he’s Jewish and he’s not even sure Jewish people are supposed to do that) and William slowly nods, before looking at Joe “Um… can I just…” William quickly grabs Gabe’s hand, and squeezes it, looking at him like he’s the only thing left and he’s about to be taken away- Gabe squeezes it back, before letting go “Good luck” He says, as William leaves the room with Joe.

\---

GABE: ( _reaches into his pocket, grabs his flash, and drinks all of the contents in it- it’s about the second time he’s done this, but considering the circumstances…_ )

\---

( _The concert is in full swing- Brendon is about to perform his arrangement with his Advanced Chorus students and Victoria)_

“So, tonight we have a special piece for you!” Patrick announces into the audience- the camera zooms into Ryan asleep on Pete’s shoulder, but Pete gives Patrick a thumbs up. Patrick notices, smiling a little brighter, before speaking back into the microphone “Our very own Brendon Urie arranged this piece all by himself in _one_ night, and to be honest, I haven’t heard it yet either, so this is just gonna be-“ He looks back to Brendon with the violin in his hands- apparently Brendon learned it in _one_ day- and says in a nervous-but-trying-to-be-reassuring voice “-a new experience for us all!”

Everyone claps, and Brendon walks up the microphone before saying “This is called 'Viva la Coldplay!'” And the camera zooms in on the exact moment Ryan wakes up at the mention of his favorite band’s name, and looks at Brendon like he doesn’t know what the hell is happening- granted, he just woke up, so.

Brendon taps his foot on the stage to the beat of the song, before him and Victoria start playing the opening violin notes to “Viva la Vida”- Ryan sits up straighter in his seat upon hearing this, and he’s watching Brendon with his mouth open- because suddenly Brendon looks _really_ good, with his tuxedo and his eyes are closed as his students start singing- it’s already really good, because the students are only singing it with the violin in the background and they all sound so professional, and they don't even sound like the students that mock Patrick and steal his microphones. And Brendon plays the swooping part in the song, while Victoria maintains the base violin part- Brendon’s not really dancing on the stage, but he’s swaying lightly, without thinking about it.

“ _Revolutionaries wait for my head on a silver plate_ ” Brendon opens his eyes when his students harmonize, and he plays this _one part_ and makes eye contact with Ryan, and he _winks,_ like he knows how Ryan’s heart is practically bursting with joy and he can’t stop smiling because this is _beautiful,_ and _Brendon_ wrote it.

Suddenly, the song switches gears, and it goes into ‘Yes’ and Ryan screams “Go Brendon!” _way_ too loudly- Pete grimaces and mouths to Patrick “Ryan is _hard”_

Brendon is a genius, okay? He plays that violin without even thinking about it, he just plays it perfectly, his eyes closed and his body flowing the beat of the song, and his students sound great, and it’s _awesome._

He mashes up a couple of other songs, like “White Shadows” “Fix You” “Life in Technicolor ii” (Ryan almost faints when he hears that one) and finally, as if Brendon knew what Ryan’s favorite Coldplay song was (actually, Brendon knew that one- he stalked him on Facebook for a good hour trying to find out), he finishes it with “Paradise”

When they finish playing the song, the auditorium almost _explodes_ with applause, but Ryan’s screech “I LOVE YOU BRENDON URIE!” is probably the loudest noise in the room. Brendon just smiles widely, and says into the microphone “Thank you!” and lets his students and Victoria bow, before he does the same.

\---

RYAN: That was the biggest turn on in the world. ~~My dick~~ is literally aching, that was so good. Did you hear him?! I didn’t even know Brendon listened to Coldplay?! What the ~~fuck?!~~ He looked so hot up there! I’m so! ~~Fucking~~! Agh!

BRENDON: ( _laughs wildly_ ) He said that?! I’m gonna go find him so I can ~~suck him off~~ in the closet!

PATRICK: I had very little faith in Brendon, but I was _more_ than pleasantly surprised. Seriously, Brendon could do way better than a stupid school like this- he’s a genius. No one really gives him enough credit for the ~~shit~~ he can do. He learned to play violin like that in a single night! While he was drunk!

\---

_(The concert is finally finished- Patrick’s bombarded by people complimenting him and the show, but the camera zooms in to Ryan and Brendon talking in the hallway)_

“Brendon. Brendon! Oh my god!” Ryan keeps saying, like he can’t believe that Brendon actually _did_ that “Ryan! Oh my god!” Brendon giggles, fiddling with the flowers in his hands- someone else gave them to him, but now Ryan wishes he got Brendon flowers _which is weird he hates Brendon what the hell_

“I’m really hyped up, let’s go get ice cream?” Brendon suggests, and Ryan nods frantically “Yes. Oh my god. Brendon!”

The cameras follow them down the hall and catches when Ryan kisses Brendon’s cheek before walking out of the building with him

\---

BRENDON: ( _winks at the cameras_ ) Baby boy’s about to get ~~some cummies!~~ Later!

\---

( _William’s talking on the phone on the way to his car- he doesn’t notice the cameras)_

“Shut up, I didn’t sound _that_ good” He sighs, but he has a smile on his face, even if his face is tear-stained and his nose is red from crying- they're talking about William's solo, which was, of course, flawless. 

“Thank you. I really… I really love you. I’m sorry things are so messed up. I’m sorry that-“ He pauses, to let Gabe talk on, and nods “Yeah, sure, I’ll meet you there in 15 minutes, love you. And no, I don’t see any cam-“ William makes eye contact with one of the camera men once he looks around for them, and sighs “-are you ~~fucking~~ kidding?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! this is actually horrible! :) also what is proper terminology idk what that is


	6. O.T.P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! im so so so sorry this is going to be super short because even though im on break, i've been really busy and havent had time to really sit down and write. so instead of waiting like another 5 days i'll just post this little part now and then post something longer later! but yeah this is just gonna be something short and a filler chapter

( _The desks in Pete’s classroom are arranged in a circle, and a bunch of students, including William and Sisky have poems out- Pete sits in one of the desks, and so does Ryan_ )

“-and that’s my poem about how in love I am with my girlfriend, Ashley” Sisky finishes reading off his poem, before turning to Ashley, who is next to him- this week, she’s supporting blue bangs. “Aw, baby!” She pulls him in for a kiss, and for 10 good seconds, they make out. Eventually, feeling very uncomfortable, Pete clears his throat “Okay! Thanks for that… beautiful poem, Adam”

Sisky gives him a thumbs up, before nudging William “Your turn”

William looks down- he has about 10 poems in front of him, but he brings them closer to his body, and says in a quiet “Pass”

Everyone looks up at this, Ryan included- because William _never_ passes. William shares his poems about pencils, about how much he hates school, he once even shared a poem about Ryan, while Ryan was there (although William was classy enough to make it subtle). Long story short, William always likes sharing his poems, and he has a lot poems this week too- but they’re all about either dying, or about Gabe, and forbidden love.

“Are you sure?” Pete asks, as William nods “Not in the mood” Pete gives the camera a hesitant look, before shrugs “Okay. Feel free to share if you change your mind”

\---

PETE: I created Emo Time Trademark because I _love_ poetry, and I wanted to create some sort of outlet for students to get their frustration and anger out, because I know that when I was younger, I was ‘full of rage’, and the only thing that somewhat calmed me down was writing. I made Ryan the co-founder of the club because Ryan, despite his ignorance and stupidity, is an _excellent_ lyricist and writer. I highly suggest you check out Ryan’s ~~shit~~ , granted you’ll have to sift through about 100 poems about Chris Martin

RYAN: ‘Roses are red, violets are blue / Chris Martin ~~fuck~~ me till I die’

PETE: Yeah, okay, _besides_ those poems

RYAN: _(rolls his eyes before reciting_ ) ‘Things are shaping up to be pretty odd / Little deaths in musical beds / So it seems I’m someone I’ve never met / You will only hear these elegant crimes / Fall on your ears from criminal dimes / They spill unfound from a pretty mouth’ Yeah…that’s it. It’s supposed to be a song, but I compare all of my music to Coldplay’s, and my music sucks compared to theirs. Speaking of Coldplay, their new album comes out tomorrow and…

\---

“Why don’t you share your poem, Mr. Wentz?” The Butcher asks, as Pete looks down at his poem- it’s kind of depressing, and kinda about Mikey. Not like anyone expected anything less.

“Um… alright. This one is called ‘Bang the Doldrums’- ‘I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me/ The same way I think of you/ This is a love poem in my own way/ Happily ever after below the waist” He frowns “That’s all I have so far” He holds up his book, and the students peer at the lines- the paper is thin because of how many times Pete erased his words

“It’s kinda sad, Mr. Wentz. Do you wanna vent?” Ashley asks, as Pete gives her a grimace “I don’t think I should discuss my love life with my students. Or lack of one, anyways” The students aww at this “Mr. Wentz! You deserve all of the love in the world!”

Pete just shrugs “I guess. Anyways, who is next?”

\---

PETE: I don’t know where Mikey and I stand anymore…. We keep fighting, and every time we, you know, it’s like… rough. And not rough in a good way, rough in like…. Like it’s _angry_ all the time, it’s not like how it used to be, where it’d be fun and carefree and great. Now, it’s sharp, and biting, and it’s like he _hates_ me, you know? Like I come over, and he slams me against the door, and then he ~~fucks~~ me, and then, an hour later, he’ll get mad over something so trivial, and it’s like really? I mean you literally ~~fucked~~ me into next week and you’re gonna bitch about the fact that I like, I don’t know, didn’t leave any coffee for you? It’s just really tiring, mostly. And he still won’t let me sleep in his bed. But you know… I’m still somehow in love with him. I hate love. Love _sucks_.

\---

( _Patrick stumbles into his music theory class with some crutches and a brace on his right ankle, as well as a nasty bruise on his face_ )

“Mr. Stump! Holy ~~shit~~! What happened?!” Mike yells, as Patrick gives him a pointed look, before sighing in defeat “Language, Mike. And uh, I fell on the ice walking back to my car on Saturday”

( _Footage: Patrick, the night of the concert, is hiding behind the school building, watching Mikey pull up in the parking lot of the school. The camera zooms in on Pete running to the car, and knocking on the window. The moment the window rolls down, Pete starts screaming, and Mikey screams back for a moment, before Pete forcefully opens the passenger door, slamming it behind him. Patrick sighs, and goes back to walk to his car, before he slips on some ice that wasn’t sanded, since he was hiding behind the building because he's unhealthily obsessed , and he lands headfirst onto the pavement “Ow!”)_

“Still! Are you okay?” William asks, as Patrick nods, limping over to the computer to plug in his flashdrive “I’ll be okay. Anyways, I wanted to congratulate you guys on an _amazing_ show!” Patrick begins to gush on and on about the concert- 6 minutes passes by before he _finally_ finishes “-And I’m so proud of every single one of you!”

\---

MIKE: I feel kinda bad for Mr. Stump. He always looks like he tries really hard, and gets nothing in return, so I’m at least glad that our concert was good, y’know?

PATRICK: I fell on… oh, you already know? Yeah… I should have known you guys already knew.

\---

“Anyways, today we’re gonna learn about augmented and diminished intervals! Fun! Or as I like to call them, demented intervals… because you just mash the names augmented and diminished together… nevermind” Patrick tries, and fails to make his sentences more comprehensible. He can’t be blamed- anything to make his students laugh, and understand the lesson, right?

“Like a ship name?” Ashley asks, as Patrick’s eyebrows furrow. Ship name?

“Uh… sure? What’s a ship?” The class erupts into chaos, and some of his students start giggling. He feels super out of the loop, but with teaching teenagers, he’s learn to become somewhat accustomed to it. He just stands and waits for someone to clarify for him, since there's no use in trying to teach them now. 

“Like your O.T.P!” Mike suggests, as the class agrees, still somewhat shouting out. They’re _much_ too energetic for first period.

“What the hell is an O.T.P” Patrick shifts on his crutches, and face palms. He just wants to teach them intervals so that he can go back into the office and mess around on Garageband and sulk about Pete.

“Everyone shut up! I’ll explain it to Mr. Stump” Ashley yells at everyone, before standing up out of seat, pushing her blue bangs out of her eyes. 

“Mr. Stump, do you have a girlfriend?” She asks first, as a couple of students snicker- Patrick doesn’t exactly broadcast his sexuality, and it’s actually been a question a lot of his students wonder. Not that many of them would be homophobic- practically the entire teacher staff is queer, anyways. It's kind of unnatural.

“Uh… no” Patrick can’t help blushing, and he curses himself for it. Fortunately, Ashley just shrugs “Okay, well do you have a boyfriend?”

“Unfortunately not” He runs his fingers through his hair, as the entire class starts screaming yet again- “You owe me $20! He’s gay, I told you!” “Hell yeah, Mr. Stump!” “I’m so proud of you!”

“It’s not that big of a deal guys” Patrick tries to reason with them, trying to hide his smile- It’s nice feeling supported, even if he’s being interrogated for some unknown reason.

“SHUT UP!” Ashley resumes her questioning; “Alright, that’s cool… Wait, you’re good friends with Mr. Wentz and Mr. Way right?”

His fingers grip the crutches a little harder, because uh, of course he fucking knows Mr. Wentz and Mr. Way, it’s the one thing that keeps him up at night (okay, that’s a lie), but he just gives Ashley a smile through his now gritted teeth “Yeah”

“Well, they’re _my_ personal O.T.P, although I think they’re going through some sort of a rough patch which sucks because… well anyways, O.T.P means ‘One True Pairing’, understand?”

Patrick nods. Alright, he guesses he can understand this. He should have Ashley teach his class, because she’s teaching him way more lingo in less time than Patrick could teach ‘demented’ intervals.

“Okay, basically a ship is an O.T.P- a ship is two, or more because I mean polygamy is cool, people that you want to be romatically involved. So… my O.T.P is two people that I ship together, meaning that my O.T.P is two people that I want dating each other. _OR_ your OTP can be already dating. Do you understand what I’m tryna say?”

Again, Patrick hesitantly nods. So, an O.T.P is two people he wants to date each other? So, his O.T.P would be him and Pete, and Brendon’s O.T.P would be him and Ryan?

“But you can only have one O.T.P!” Sisky tugs on Ashley’s shirt, and she whips around to glare at him “Everyone has multiple O.T.Ps!”

“Why can you only have one O.T.P?” Patrick starts whining- half of the period is already _done_. Ashley sighs, before turning back to face Patrick.

“Because the name is ‘One True Pairing’, so technically it’s only supposed to be _one_ ‘One True Pairing’ but forget about that, because everyone has multiple pairings that they ship. So, Mr. Stump, a ship name is like what you were talking about before- you just mash the names of your O.T.P together! Like Mr. Wentz and Mr. Way would be Petekey, since their first names are Pete and Mikey. That’s their ship name” She finishes with a bow, and everyone cheers, and Patrick eventually gives in and claps for her “Thanks, Ashley”

She nods “No problemo, Mr. Stump! So, who is your O.T.P?”

“ _My_ O.T.P?” Patrick knows he can’t say Pete’s name, since y’know, the whole _Petekey_ thing, but then another student yells out “Jontrick!”

“Jontrick?!” Ashley’s eyebrows raise, and she turns back to Patrick “You like Mr. Walker?!”

“There’s nothing wrong with Mr. Walker-“ Patrick begins to say, before _once again_ the entire class burst into conversation “Mr. Stump has a boyfriend!”

“I don’t have boyfriend, we already established this!” Patrick’s blushing like crazy, but he tries to calm his class down anyways- too bad he has pale skin and everyone can see him blushing like crazy “Shut it down, guys! Shut it down! Shut it _down_!

“Jontrick isn’t REAL! We’re just friends” Patrick yells as everyone ignores him “Oh my god, I knew it! I saw them together the other day!” Sisky tells Ashley as Ashley gasps “How could you not tell me!”

Just as Patrick opens his mouth to argue with them, the bell rings, and everyone besides Ashley rushes out the class. So much for demented intervals.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Stump. I’ll hook you up with Mr. Walker” She winks as Patrick shakes his head “I really don’t like him though! I like someone else!” He sighs, as Ashley’s eyes widen, and she grins “Who? I can totally hook you guys up” “It’d interfere with your ‘O.T.P’” Patrick says before he can stop himself, and Ashley gives him a confused look, before nodding “Oh, I understand. I gotta get to class…”

The only thing Patrick really got from that was that ‘Petekey’ was the worst name he’s ever heard in his life- and that he really likes the sound of ‘Peterick’, emphasis on the ‘ick’

\---

ASHLEY: Mr. Stump likes Mr. Way?! But… why? They wouldn’t look good, aesthetically speaking. In my right opinion, at least

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this week on 'eccentric times'- uma explains the meaning of OTP! and btw not even pete wentz himself can convince me that peterick is pronounced "pe-trick" because it's obviously "peter-ick" okay :'(


	7. A Head Full Of Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw ashley is supposed to be halsey. idk if everyone knew that because that always confuses me in fanfics but. the more you know... you know?

( _William, The Butcher, Mike, and Sisky are sitting together in Gabe’s classroom, ‘working’ on their assignment- the camera is far enough for them to feel comfortable talking amongst themselves_ )

“Do you think we can get away with getting a good grade if we just sit here and do nothing?” The Butcher groans, putting his pencil down and rubbing his face.

“Maybe if William sucks Mr. Saporta’s dick well enough” Mike snickers. Sisky’s jaw drops, as William’s eyes widen, and he kicks Mike under the desk.

“Are you ~~fucking~~ good?! Say it any louder, dumbass!” He hisses, looking around the room- the rest of the students are being loud in their own groups, and Gabe is thankfully across the room.

“I’m sorry! But you can definitely use your-“ Mike brings his hand up to his mouth and mimics giving a blowjob. The Butcher just face palms- he still doesn’t approve of this relationship in the slightest. “-skills, then we won’t have to try as hard! Spanish is _hard”_

“Yeah, even if I _could_ use my dick sucking powers to convince Gabe to give us a better grade, I don’t think I could. It’s over” William whispers, as the rest of them look at each other. Over?

“ _Over_ , over? Or ‘Ashley and I’ over?” Sisky asks- him and Ashley are always on and off. But William just shakes his head, laughing a bit- coping mechanisms. “ _Over,_ over. Well, I think so anyways. We… uh, sort of got caught”

\---

THE BUTCHER: Yeah, no ~~fucking shit~~ you got caught. Who pursues a relationship with a teacher and expects it to go _well? (sighs)_ I don’t want to yell at him, cause he’s upset right now but… like I’m pretty sure I warned him about this like a month ago. Whatever. 

\---

“Caught? What happened?” Sisky asked, before adding “Wait, was that why you were so sad during Emo Time Trademark?” Mike and The Butcher glance at each other- what a dumb name.

William nods, before leaning in closer to tell them “Tell me if he comes our way, okay?” They nod, and William begins to explain the story, how Gabe was calming him down the night of the concert, and then when Joe found them

“Dude, you can trust Mr. Trohman not to tell anyone. I’ve caught that guy smoking weed with Miss Asher way too many times for him to say anything to anyone”

“That’s not the point, though. It could have been _anyone”_ William sighs, before shaking his head “But anyways, after the concert we met up at his apartment, and… I mean we ~~fucked~~ , but it was kind of like a “goodbye ~~fuck~~ ”. You know?” The boys nod, but they don’t really know what he’s talking about, since the rest of them haven’t even had sex (although Sisky claimed that he lost his ‘half-virginity’ since he blew his load when he barely got the head in). But, they understand what he means, that whole “last moment good moment together”

“And we haven’t talked since and I really miss him, and-“ as William talked, Mike saw Gabe approaching them- it was too late for him to tell William to stop talking, so he did the next best thing he could think of. 

Throw a pencil at William’s face

\---

MIKE: I was _panicking_ , okay?!

\---

“OW!” William paused in the middle of his story to bring his hand to his eye, and Gabe rushed over.  

“Oh my god, are you okay?! What happened?!” He reached to cup William’s face, but upon remembering that _oh yeah I’m in the middle of class_ he just brushed William’s hand away to get a closer look at William’s eye- his right eye was starting to get red and was already watering

“Mike!” “I’m sorry! Muscle spasm!”

Gabe was on his knees on, to be level with William’s eye to make sure it was okay. Of course, this entire situation was awkward because Gabe was on his knees in front of a crying William. Seriously, they had their fair share of these moments, and everyone’s eyes were on them

“Can I just go to the nurse?” William asked, breaking their momentary silence, wiping away the tears from his face, as Gabe nodded, and got up. “Do you need someone to go with you?” William’s initial response, “You”, was at the tip of his tongue, but he refrained from it, and just shook his head, and slowly got up and walked towards the door, his movements unsteady because of his, y’know, punctured eyeball.

“Don’t you need a pass?” The Butcher called out, and William just turned around and narrowed his good eye “I’m William, I don’t need a pass”

\---

GABE: It was… it was right to end things with Bill, you know?  Like I hate not being to be with him, and seeing him every day doesn’t help, but I need to get over it, and be a responsible adult. Of course, he had to go and get himself injured and now I want to stop being a responsible adult and comfort him. I hate this.

WILLIAM: ( _pouting while holding an ice pack to his swollen eye_ ) I want my Gabey Baby back. My… _Gabanti_

\---

( _The camera pans Brendon’s chorus classroom- the students are all running around, singing songs, and Brendon’s sitting on top of his piano, texting_ ) 

“Mr. Urie? Shouldn’t we be learning?” One of the students come up to him- the rest of the class has burst into song, singing “Hotline Bling”. Brendon just looks down at her and blinks “Wait what?”

\---

BRENDON: Ryan didn't take the day off, but he's not in any of his classes, and he didn’t text anyone where he was, and why he isn’t here, and I’m _freaking out_

( _Footage: Ryan locking the male teacher’s bathroom and sobbing- he shows the cameras his purchase of the new Coldplay album, and that he’s about to listen to it for the first time)_

\---

“Learning… I mean I like this song as much as the next person, but don’t we have a midterm coming up?”

Brendon just gives her a blank look, and she reluctantly goes back to her seat to join the other students, as Patrick limps into the classroom, looking appalled at the sight before him- Brendon’s students are singing Drake, and Sisky and Ashley are making out in the corner of the room.

“Noise complaints! Shut it down!” Patrick snaps his fingers, trying to get everyone’s attention- they’re too busy singing. (although Ashley pulls away to wave at Patrick)

“Brendon, can you get them to calm down? Travie said that they can be heard from down the hall and-“ “Patrick, you inconsiderate whore! Ryan is _missing!”_

“Dude, Ryan isn’t missing. Pete said that when he was trying to reapply his eyeliner in the bathroom, Ryan was locked up in there listening to the new Coldplay album and didn't let him in” Patrick rolls his eyes as he says this, but Brendon just kisses his cheek “You’re so good! And pure! I owe you my life and more! But can you cover for me?” Patrick looks into the camera, before turning back to Brendon

“Of course! It’s not like I have, like, things to do. Pete’s to be sulking about” Patrick adds sarcastically. Too bad Brendon takes it the complete opposite way. “Exactly! Thanks so much!”

He hops out of the classroom, as Patrick reaches into his pocket to down more Advil. It’s only 11 in the morning.

\---

PATRICK: Why do I even try?

\---

( _Brendon is knocking on the bathroom door with a handful of sandwiches and apple juice)_

“Ryan! Open up!” No answer. But, if you know Brendon, you know he’s persistent. So, he keeps knocking.

“Ryan! Rybear! Ry! I have food!” Now _that_ seems to work- The bathroom door swings open, and Brendon is greeted with Ryan’s tear streaked face. He has his headphones dangling from  his neck, and some music is pouring out of the speakers.

“ _Food_ ” Ryan says, his voice thick. He pulls Brendon in the bathroom with him and locks the door. “You’re Jesus. Thank you” He’s still crying as he grabs one of the sandwiches, unwraps it, and sticks it in his mouth.

“I haven’t eaten since last night, I was so excited” He says, with the sandwich in his mouth. He sits back on the floor, as Brendon just stares at him.

Ryan’s _obsessed._ And _hungry._ But Brendon feels a little pleased that he’s the only person Ryan has let into the bathroom, so he’s not complaining. “Did the album disappoint?” Brendon sits down next to him, sticking a straw into one of the boxes of Apple Juice and handing it to Ryan. Ryan takes it, and drinks the entire thing, before grabbing another sandwich

“Did it _disappoint?_ It’s a goddamn work of art! It’s so different from their old stuff, but still so _good._ Did you hear it yet?” Brendon shakes his head. He was too busy worrying about Ryan to even teach a class, there was no way he could have heard it yet.

“Nah. But I pre-ordered it” He gives Ryan another box, and leans his head against the wall, before glancing to Ryan’s phone. “I have the rest of this period and next. Can I listen with you?”

Ryan considers this for a moment- Brendon _did_ bring food, and plus, Brendon wasn’t as bad in his mind anymore, ever since he heard Brendon’s composition. So he just gives Brendon a headphone and starts the album again “Get ready to have your mind _blown”_

\---

BRENDON: Oh my _god._ I believe in God again! We’re _sharing headphones._ And listening to _Coldplay together._ This is, like, marriage or something! Thank you, Chris Martin! Thank you!

RYAN: My favorite song off the album? Are you kidding me, that’s like asking a mother who her favorite child is! Well actually, my mother would tell you without a blink that her favorite child is my sister. But my sister has never seen Coldplay live, so who is the real winner here?

\---

( _Joe finishes teaching his seniors a lesson on functions, despite the fact that everyone has already learned all about functions. Mike, The Butcher, and Sisky all approach Joe at the end of his lesson_ )

“Hey, Mr. Trohman?” The Butcher stops in front of Joe’s desk, and Sisky and Mike stand next to and slightly behind him- they all agreed that The Butcher’s “chillness” is more intimidating than anything Sisky or Mike could bring to the table

“What’s up, guys?” Joe eyes them, before bringing his bag closer to him. Teenagers scare the living _shit_ out Joe sometimes. They’re so… hormonal. So, these students glaring at him and looking vaguely “gang” like don’t make him feel any better

“Well, we just had a question, regarding our friend William” William wasn’t in class, since he was at the nurse. Good thing too, because William would have called this off the second Mike brought it up.

“Shoot” Joe says, backing up _juuuuust_ a little. Mike smirks a little at this- he knew this was going to be easy. Mr. Trohman is a nice guy, but William is his best friend, and he really doesn’t want his best friend getting hurt.

“William informed us that you saw some things the night of the concert” The Butcher begins to say, as Joe nods reluctantly. It’s true, he saw Gabe and William together. And he also promised not to say anything, not even to his soul-mate _Victoria._ He tells Victoria everything!

“Wrong! You saw absolutely nothing! Nada! The only thing you saw the night of the concert was the concert. Right?” The Butcher smiles at Joe, and Joe frantically agrees “Nothing! I saw nothing!”

“Just like how I’ve never seen you smoke joints with Miss Asher behind the school” Mike adds.

“Of course not. Nobody has seen anything” Joe eyes the clock, and his palms begin to sweat. “So, are we done here?”

“While we’re talking, can you change my grade from a B to an A?”  “Sisky! Shut up!”

\-- 

JOE: Listen. I know I’m an adult, and I shouldn’t be afraid of kids, but you have to admit. That was _scary._ They _black-mailed me!_ I need to smoke. But now, I can’t even do that, because they’re going to be watching me like a hawk! I don’t deserve this!

THE BUTCHER: I don’t support Mr. Saporta and Bill’s relationship, but I don’t want Bill to, god forbid, loose his scholarship over this. His parents already give him enough ~~shit~~ as is, and yeah. That’d suck.

SISKY: Can I get a recording of that to show Ash? That was _epic!_

\---

_(Patrick’s struggling to grab food in the Cafeteria since he’s trying to manage the crutches, and Pete goes up to him to help him)_

_“_ Woah, there! Here, let me get that for you” Pete swoops in, grabbing the bottle of water Patrick was struggling to get. Patrick swoons a little, but just smiles at him “Thanks, Pete. I think I got it from here”

Pete shakes his head, taking Patrick’s tray “Trick, I got you. I didn’t know it was that bad, shit, that’s a nasty bruise” He points to Patrick’s bruise, and Patrick sighs. “I know. I just can’t believe I was dumb enough to trip over the sidewalk”

He’s lying through his teeth- He just told Pete that he wasn’t watching where he was going and that he fell on the lifted sidewalk in front of his apartment. He can’t exactly tell Pete that he was spying on him and Mikey, can he?

“It’s alright man. The concert was so epic that you weren’t thinking” Patrick blushes at this- Pete has _not_ stopped gushing about how great the concert was. Well, when he’s not talking about Mikey, that is.

“Shut up. But thank you” He limps along the line, as Pete grabs the food that Patrick points to. And once Patrick pays, Pete sits with him at a table, ignoring Mikey across the room

“You’re ignoring him” Patrick notes, stabbing his salad with a fork. Pete just scoffs “That obvious?” “Kinda. What’s wrong?”

As much as Patrick doesn’t want to talk about Mikey, it’s the best way for Pete to vent.

“Nothing new, just y’know. The usual. We’ve been ~~fucking~~ less, and that makes him more irritable”

\---

PATRICK: Ugh, ‘Petekey’ sex would be so gross. And yeah, I said ‘Petekey’ _._ It’s engraved in my head ( _sighs_ ) This is so dumb. When you spend like all your time with teenagers, you start to _act_ like them.

\---

“True that” This makes Pete grin “Oh, you know the feeling? You and Jon ~~fucked~~ yet?”

Patrick’s hand itches to grab more Advil, but he stops himself “ _No._ We aren’t a thing! I swear! Just friends! F-R-I-E-N-D-S” “I know how to spell, Trick. I’m an English teacher. And you spelled boyfriends wrong”

\---

PETE: _No,_ I don’t bring up Jon to distract myself from my failing relationship. ( _scoffs_ ) Who does that? Not me, that’s for sure! 

\---

( _William leaves the school in the middle of the day, because of his eye. Gabe spots him on his ‘vodka break’ in the parking lot, and ends up approaching him after moments of contemplating not to)_

“Bilvy! Are you okay?” Gabe runs up to him, as William narrows his good eye at him (he’s been doing that a lot, narrowing his eyes)

“Fine” He tries to brush past Gabe, so that he doesn’t start crying and hugging Gabe, begging for them to keep their _illegal_ relationship going.

“Bilvy, c’mon. I know you. Please? Let me at least drive you home so you don’t have to walk” William turns back to look at Gabe. On one hand, walking will allow him time to clear his head. But on the other, the car is a lot more warm, and _Gabe’s_ there.

“Alright, let’s go” William smiles a little at Gabe, and it’s cute, even if William’s eye is swollen shut.

\---

( _Mikey’s outside, smoking, and his phone rings. He picks it up, and the camera catches as he drops his cigarette and starts screaming “Holy ~~shit~~! Are you serious?! Oh my god, thank you!")_

MIKEY: Oh my ~~fucking~~ god, oh my god! Okay, okay, so during the summer, I applied to a school in New Jersey, in my hometown, because there was an opening there and, holy ~~shit~~ ,  I ~~fucking~~ got it! I got the job! Oh my ~~fucking~~ god! I have to go tell Gee! ( _the camera man asks, despite the fact that he shouldn’t, ‘What about Pete?’)_ Pete? I don’t know, I’ll just break our fling off. This is my dream job! And he’s just Pete. Oh my god, I can't believe I got the job!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not that anyone cares, but my favorites from the new coldplay album are "army of one" "fun" and "hymn for the weekend"
> 
> also sick mcr reference bro B) @me


	8. Vodka Breaks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you wanted to know what writer's block looks like, this is it
> 
> also i stole of p stump's comments from his famous roasting of shane morris so credit goes to him!

_(The camera pans the storage room/Patrick’s music theory room_ )

“...I’m not teaching you guys gang signs! They’re solfege syllables and their respective hand signs!” Patrick groans, putting his head in his hands. He’s trying to teach his class solfege syllables after last week’s attempt at ‘demented’ intervals went sour, but his class seems to think that the hand signs for them are gang signs.

“I’m just saying, Mr. Stump, they look an awful lot like gang signs” Sisky says, just as Patrick looks up “Why would I teach you guys gang signs? _Why_ on Earth would I ever-“

Ashley suddenly bursts into the room, interrupting Patrick. “Mr. Stump! It’s an emergency! I need to talk to you _now_ ”

\--- 

PATRICK: When Ashley has an emergency, it’s something like ‘I need to take your pass so I can leave the school and buy an extra bottle of blue hair dye since mine is running out’. And I’m not even like poking fun at her, or whatever. That’s actually a legitimate emergency to her. But I guess she’s one of my better students. She doesn’t assume I’m teaching gang signs…? ( _does the symbols for solfege_ ) These don’t look like gang signs, right? …Right?!                                                                                                                                   

\---

“I’ll be back in a minute, just… copy down the syllables?” He asks the class, but a little part of his brain tells him that they won’t do it. Regardless, Patrick follows Ashley out in the hallway, and she takes a deep breath (this week she’s supporting a blue pixie cut) and begins her speech.

“Mr. Stump, we have a huge problem. Mr. Way just told us that he’s leaving cause he got a new job in Jersey and-“ “Wait… what did you just say?” “I know! And I’ve failed you, Mr. Stump, I know you really-“ “Ashley! What is Mr. Way doing?!”

Mr. Way is _what_? He’s doing _what_?!

She takes a couple of deep breaths, before clearing her throat “Mr. Stump, in the middle of class Mr. Way said that he had an announcement. And I thought for sure he was going to say that he was dating Mr. Wentz, because like c’mom, let’s be real, they’re definitely a thing. But! He said that he was _leaving”_ Patrick’s heart suddenly starts beating really fast, and his jaw opens “What do you mean by leaving?!” “Leaving! Mr. Stump, I… can I call you Patrick? I’m gonna call you Patrick-“ “I _really_ don’t think that’s necessary, and-“

“Patrick! Mr. Way said that he got his dream job in _Jersey,_ which by the way, who the ~~fuck~~ wants to live in Jersey? Anyways, and he’s leaving in two weeks! Patrick, how are we going to get you guys together if he’s in _~~fucking~~ New Jersey?!”_

“Get us together…?” Patrick can hardly process anything because uh, _Mikey isn’t going to be living here anymore and that could possibly mean that him and Pete are going to break things off for good._

“Well… didn’t you say that you didn’t like Petekey cause it interfered with your own O.T.P?” Ashley asks, her eyebrows furrowing. “Ashley, I didn’t… I didn’t mean that I liked Mikey…” Patrick says, blushing. "But that's not the point! Mr. Way is leaving the school?!"

It takes Ashley a couple of seconds before gasping “Holy ~~shit~~! Patrick! You like Mr. Wentz?!” “First of all, language. Second of all, don’t call me Patrick. Third of all… agh! It’s not that big of a deal, I just-“ “Patrick! This is ~~fucking~~ prime time for you! This is your moment! I can’t even be that upset that Mr. Way is leaving because oh my god, you’re gonna get your man!”

\---

PATRICK: This is kind of weird. Like I want to be happy because I actually might get a chance with him, but Pete hasn’t called me and… and what if Pete doesn’t even know yet? Pete’s so in love with him, this is actually going to kill him. 

PETE: My morning was pretty good, actually! Mikey actually let me kiss him this morning after we, y’know… _(raises eyebrows suggestively and smirks)_ So maybe that was just a rough patch we were going through?

MIKEY: No, I haven’t told Pete yet. I’m trying to be a better person? Maybe be a little nice to him before I deliver the news? Yeah, despite what people say, I actually do like Pete. He’s a good guy, he just doesn’t know the difference between ~~fuckbuddies~~ and boyfriends.

PATRICK: Mikey said that? That he _likes_ Pete? No offense but who is he kidding? Like… please Mikey, let me know. And by the way, Mikey, when you watch this in the future, everyone knows that you were totally jealous that Jon liked me and not you! You're like... you're like the card we can see up the magician's sleeve! Agh! 

\---

( _Ryan’s playing his music in Brendon’s chorus room (cause the acoustics are good in there, okay?) and Brendon’s lying on the top of his piano, replying to e-mails_ )

“Ry? Do you like… listen to any other music that isn’t Coldplay?” Brendon asks, turning on his stomach so that he’s facing Ryan. Not that Brendon doesn’t like Coldplay it’s just that… well, that’s all Ryan’s been listening to for the past hour. They’ve just been hanging in the Chorus room, since Ryan had things to grade. Brendon was supposed to hold lessons, but no one showed up.

“Of course I do…! I listen to bands like… The Beatles! And I listen to like really old artists, you probably wouldn’t know them” Ryan adds, bored. He looks up to Brendon giving him a skeptical look “Don’t give me that look! I just happen to really love Coldplay, okay? I don’t listen to ~~shit~~ mainstream music, like you”

“Not all of it is ~~shit~~ , Ryan!” Brendon yells, before hopping off the piano, and reaching over Ryan’s shoulder to turn off his music.

“Hey! This is my favorite song!” “You’ve said that about every song you’ve played, Ryan”

He frowns, before narrowing his eyes “I don’t have to be here, you know. I can get up and leave” Brendon just smiles at him “Then why are you still here? Hmm?”

Brendon types in something on YouTube, and puts the volume up “Ryan, you have to listen to more artists before you die. Like, I have thousands of artists on my library! You never really know what you’re missing out on if you don’t get out there. There’s something my Mom used to always say- “Film the world before it happens”. You have to… like I don’t know, get out there and do something instead of sitting on your ass and doing nothing besides listen to Coldplay”

“I don’t necessary give a ~~shit~~ about what your Mom used to say, Brendon. And I don’t think that’s what ‘Film the world before it happens’ means… like _at all_ ”

Brendon just scowls at him, before pressing play “One song. Just one song and you can leave. Promise” He holds his pinky finger out, and Ryan sighs, linking their pinkies together “Whatever”. Brendon looks down to their pinkies linked and smiles gently, before pressing 'play'

From all of the corners of the room, 'The Hills' by The Weeknd suddenly blasts, and Ryan screams once Brendon lets go of his pinky finger, leans against the piano, automatically starts grinding against it

“It’s not that bad, Ryan!” "This is... this is  _stripper music!"_

\---

BRENDON: I know that The Weeknd’s old ~~shit~~ is where it’s at, but this song is so ~~fucking~~ good. And it’s also a good song to slow grind to, because I want Ryan to notice my ass and hopefully make out with me.

RYAN: Not only is Brendon’s grinding kind of horrifying but I hate this song! ( _averts his eyes_ ) I haven’t been listening to it on repeat since I left Brendon’s room. What a preposterous statement. I’m loyal to Chris Martin and Chris Martin only.

\---

( _Gerard is walking in the hallways with a pack of invitations in his hands and he spots Pete_ )

“Pete!” He calls, and Pete looks up from his phone to wave at Gerard “Hey man! What’s up?” He peers at the invitations when Gerard holds one out to him. 

“Just y’know handing these out. How are you holding up?” Gerard asks, blinking at Pete when Pete gives him a confused look. “Holding up? Uh, fine. I guess. What’s that?”

“Fine? And these are invitations for Mikey’s going away par-“ Gerard begins to say until he begins to see Pete’s eyes widen. It only dawns on him then that Mikey didn't tell Pete yet.

“Wait! Mikey didn’t, uh, talk to you?” Gerard takes the invitation and puts it behind his back before Pete can finish reading “What the ~~fuck~~? No? What the hell is that, why is there a going away party?”

"You should  _really_ talk to him, I shouldn't-" " _Gerard._ Just tell me"

\---

GERARD: (face palms) I love my little brother. A lot. But he's a ~~fucking~~ idiot.

\---

"Well... Mikey applied to this one job a couple of months ago, and they just called to tell him that he got the job..." Gerard says slowly, as Pete laughs weakly "Oh. Well, I don't really care about that. I mean it's not like the job is that far away, right?" He looks at Gerard with a hopeful expression in his eyes.

It's the silence that really gets to Pete- Gerard just stares at him and tries to give him a sympathetic smile "Well... if you count New Jersey to be far away..."

"Oh. Um. I gotta go" Pete says, biting his lip, eyeing the invitations Gerard has in his hands. "Was Mikey like... not gonna tell me at all? Like was I gonna wake up one morning and... whatever. I gotta go" Pete rushes away from Gerard, hot tears pricking at his eyes. He pulls a Ryan Ross and locks himself in the teacher's bathroom and calls Patrick

\---

PETE: I'm... fine. It's all good! I'm good! I'm ~~fucking~~ fantastic! Don't you, like, _love_ when people just walk all over you? And make you feel like nothing? Cause I sure! ~~fucking~~! do! 

\---

( _Gabe is sitting in the parking lot, invitation in hand, drinking vodka out of a flask. Travie comes up to him, on his cigarette break)_

"Hey man. Cigarette break?" Travie asks, as Gabe holds his vodka flask out, grinning. "Vodka break" 

"Is that legal?" "Probably not" Gabe chuckles to himself, before taking another sip "But I probably wouldn't be arrested because of this. Like... this is the least of my problems" He sighs, as Travie sits next to him on the bench. Travie just raises his eyebrow at him "Oh?"

"Yeah. I've kind of..." Gabe begins to say, before he shakes his head "It's really bad" "Did you like... kill someone?" Travie can't help but ask, and Gabe shakes his head.

"I ~~fucked~~ the valedictorian" He says, gulping down the vodka, taking in Travie's equally surprised and horrified expression . He's too buzzed to stop talking, and Gabe doesn't necessarily have friends here- none that he could tell this huge thing to. And he's not sure if he trusts Joe Trohman enough. But apparently he trusts Travie, someone he's only seen twice. Travie just kind of looks like the kind of guy you could tell all of your problems to, you know?

"You ~~fucked~~ William Beckett...?" He says, as Gabe nods "Yeah. It's not... we met before I even got here. He told me he was legal when we met. And then 3 months later, I get here, and he's my ~~fucking~~ student" He starts laughing, in disbelief "My student! I'm teaching this kid verbs when we both know I've ~~sucked his dick~~ " Gabe suddenly widens his eyes, grabbing Travie's arm "You're not gonna tell anyone, right?"

"Dude. You ~~fucked~~ a student" Travie says, still not believing it. "Yeah. Kinda. If we could just... keep this on the down low..." Gabe stutters, as Travie sighs, bringing the cigarette to his mouth. "This is so ~~fucked~~ up. I should not be encouraging this" Gabe sighs in relief "Thank you! Holy ~~shit~~!" He hugs Travie's arm, before Travie shakes him off a little. "But you're not ~~fucking~~ him anymore? I'm assuming?" "It's complicated. Like I broke things off and then... it's complicated" "You're kidding, right? You have to end things. Quickly. Wait another couple of months if you like him, man. Is he even 18 yet?!" 

"Well, technically the legal age in Chicago is 17, but-" "Dude. That still doesn't... Okay. My advice is to end things now, and just wait for his graduation. That way, if you end up getting drunk again and spilling all of your secrets to a more civilized teacher, they don't tell anyone" Travie says, before finishing his cigarette. He pulls another one out for adding "I'm going to need this"

"Thank you! I owe you my entire life! Anything you want, I got you" "Well... can you give me a ride to Mikey's thing? Patrick's gonna probably be consoling Pete the entire night" "Dude. You could take my entire ~~fucking~~ car if you wanted. I love you"

But what Travie and Gabe don't know, is that Mike, Sisky, The Butcher, and William have just walked out of the school, and have spotted Travie and Gabe talking, and William even hears Gabe's "I love you"

\---

WILLIAM: ( _blinking at the camera, still stunned_ )

THE BUTCHER: Is it too soon to say 'I told you so' because... William, pal, I ~~fucking~~ told you so. But still... that's gotta sting.

\---

( _Patrick gets a call during his free period. He's reading over the invitation to Mikey's party with a grimace_ )

"Hello?" He greets, running his finger over the typed words, before his eyes widen, and he gets up out of his seat "Pete, where are you?" 

10 minutes later, he's standing in front of the men's bathroom, knocking. He's got some water in his hands, since Pete told him that he was puking, and Pete opens the door, his eyes red from crying. 

"Did you hear?" Pete asks, before suddenly laughing "Wait, you probably did. Everyone probably all ~~fucking~~ found out before me"

"Pete..." Patrick reaches out for Pete, but he just turns on his heel and starts pacing up and down. "I threw up, like, twice. And... and I keep looking into this mirror, right? And I'm thinking, no wonder Mikey didn't say anything to you! No wonder you don't mean a thing to him! And-" Patrick rests the waters against the sink, and reaches out to stop Pete from pacing. He makes Pete face him, and he looks directly into Pete's eyes as he says, calmly "Pete. Stop. You're one thousand times better than that piece of ~~shit~~ , alright? You don't deserve this _at all"_

"I do! I do deserve it, I wasn't good enough for him" Pete's eyes start filling with tears, and he reaches to wrap his arms around Patrick, sniffling "I wasn't good enough for him, maybe if I was good enough he would have stayed, or he would have at least told me first. I'm... He just disregarded my feelings and I hate it, I hate it, I ~~fucking~~ _hate it"_ Patrick just wraps his arms around Pete's slender body, and lets Pete rest his head on his shoulder, his shirt becoming wet with Pete's tears.

"I know, Pete. I know. Come on, let's get out of this bathroom and talk somewhere else, yeah?" He feels Pete nods against his shoulder "Okay. I wish Mikey were more like you, Ricky. You understand me better than anyone in the world" 

Patrick just gives the camera a tired look, before going back to shushing Pete. 

\---

PATRICK: I can't even be happy that he said that, it's like whenever Pete's sad, I automatically get sad too. Maybe it's a good thing that Mikey's going away, cause it'd get rid of a lot of negative energy but... I don't know. 

\---

( _Ryan's writing poetry in Brendon's classroom, while Brendon teaches his class_ )

"Mr. Urie? Uh.. why is Mr. Ross in here?" One of Brendon's students asks after they warm-up. Ryan looks up from scribbling in his notebook to glare at the student, while Brendon shrugs "He got bored of being locked up in the English Department.  _And_ he really wanted to hear the piece we've been working on, so maybe we can try to perfect it today?" Brendon adds, grinning a little- Ryan totally doesn't give a shit about the piece Brendon's been working on (something not related to Coldplay) but students tend to perform better when they know they have an audience.

Brendon's class starts singing some acapella piece, and although Ryan still has a lot to write (he's also, for some reason, adding in that phrase Brendon's mom used to say... except he's using it in the right context), he just watches Brendon. How he skips around the room, conducting his students, how he gets really into the song and Ryan has to admit that Brendon's ass looks pretty great. 

\---

RYAN: What the ~~fuck~~ are you talking about? I hate Brendon, okay? He's just a convenient person to have around and... ugh. Who am I kidding? _I guess_ I consider Brendon a friend ( _shudders_ )

\---

Once Brendon finishes the piece, Ryan claps "That was awesome, guys! I was totally paying attention to every note of it" He deadpans, returning back to his poetry book. Brendon just rolls his eyes, and sighs "Shut up, Ryan. Guys, he's just jealous cause he could never perform as great as you guys" "Not true! At all!" "So true!"

"You guys should date!" Ashley yells from the back of the room, and everyone erupts into laughter. But the scariest part is that Ryan doesn't actually feel like puking at the thought of that. Actually, it sounds... not so bad.

"Guys! _Stoppppp_ " Brendon laughs, before returning back to his piano, pressing the keys gently to get his students to calm down. "Alright, so even though you guys sounded great, there was still one _liiiiittle_ part I want to go over. And then you guys can put away your binders" Ryan watches as Brendon plays the keys, soft and smooth, singing along with the students. Ryan also decides that he's screwed. 

\---

_(William, Mike, Sisky, and The Butcher are all hiding out in William's car, on a stake out)_

"This is ~~fucking~~ ridiculous! We're not even in a shady looking car! This is a _bright blue_ Honda!" Mike tries to reason with them, but the 3 of them shush him. 

"Mike! Shut up! We just have to make sure they are flirting with each other, that's all. I mean people tell each other that they love each other platonically all the time!" William whispers, squinting his eyes to get a better view of the exit of the school. Nothing is out of the ordinary, besides Pete and Patrick leaving together, Pete leaning against Patrick's arm slightly

"They're totally ~~fucking"~~ Sisky says, looking at the two of them. But William shakes his head "Nah. I think they like each other, though. Mr. Stump got really upset when Ash brought up 'Petekey'" The 3 of them nod, before returning their attention to the exit.

"I think Mr. McCoy is the straightest teacher we have, though. Like think about it... I can't picture him with a man as much as I could picture... for example, Mike with a man" 

( _footage shown: Mike, in a 'one on one' "... But I'd definitely lick William's-_ ")

Mike laughs nervously "Right. Haha" 

"I know, but that doesn't mean that Gabe doesn't like him! It all makes sense, of course he'd dump me for him. I mean, Mr. McCoy is hot. And he's legal" William puts his head in his hands "This ~~fucking~~ sucks!" The Butcher looks into the camera (the cameramen are filming them outside of the car)

\--

THE BUTCHER: What a crazy idea! Damn! That'd be so stupid of Gabe, to date someone legal!

\--

"I mean... nevermind" The Butcher begins to say, but Mike glares at him before he can finish his sentence. They all look back to the exit of the school, and gasp.

Travie and Gabe are walking side-by-side, in the middle of a deep conversation ("Jesus Christ, Gabe, how many times do I have to tell you, he's your student. _Student_!"). And neither of them notice the 4 teenage boys scrambling to hide themselves. After a minute, William looks up, and watches Travie get into Gabe's car, and he sighs, turning to face the other boys "I hate my life"

\---

( _The camera films Ryan as he walks out of the building, singing under his breath "Often, often, girl I do this often, make that pussy poppin', do it how I want it")_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been listening to "beauty behind the madness" nonstop since like last week. the weeknd is jesus. ALSO im super sorry if this chapter was shitty, i was kinda stuck with this :(


	9. Beer, Cocaine, The Weeknd (And Most Things In Between)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS GONNA BE SUPER SHORT IM JUST TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW because i have a horrible habit of procrastinating and i wont be able to really sit and write because im gonna be doing 2 months worth of APUSH work in a week! love the #suffer 
> 
> also DGKDJGKGJGR IM SO READY FOR THE PANIC! ALBUM GDFKDKKFD PLEASE I LOVE BRENDON URIE SO MUCH I CAN'T BREATHE BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM SOMETIMES

( _The camera pans an empty classroom before landing on William, Sisky, The Butcher, and Mike sitting in a circle, eating some potato chips_ )

"We need a plan, guys!" William says, shoving some chips in his mouth. By now, the cameras have become sort of invisible to everyone, meaning that no one is really “cautious” with what they say anymore. Not that they’d have any reason to be, because everyone has been kind of crazy and letting information that probably shouldn’t be publicized out since the very beginning.

"A plan? To get back your teacher boyfriend?" The Butcher asks, as William grits his teeth, turning to narrow his eyes at his friend "If you don't support my relationship, say it to my face!"

"I don't support your relationship! At all!" "Shh, just eat your chips, Butch"

The Butcher stares into the camera, before sighing. "Okay, smart guy, you're the ~~fucking~~ valedictorian, why can't you come up with your own plan. I have homework to do"

Mike nods in agreement "Yeah, I'm not really sure I can help you with your plan to seduce Mr. Saporta. It's not even warm enough for you to wear super short shorts and show off your non-existent ass. And that's the only thing I can think of"

"Shut up! We just have to... to brainstorm and we'll come up with something eventually" They all sit and eat their chips for another minute or two, before Sisky clears his throat

"Well... I have an idea. Or someone who can help us with an idea. But I'm not sure you're gonna like it..." Sisky begins to say, before Mike shakes his head "Sisky-" "I suggest asking Ashley"

They all collectively groan. _Ashley_.

"You guys don't like Ashley?!" "It's not that we don't... like Ashley, it's just that she's a little much" "Well, she's the only person crazy enough to help us come up with a plan"

\---

SISKY: Ashley is, by the far, the craziest chick _ever_. Granted I don't really talk to girls, but...

MIKE: Normally, I'd be 100 percent against having Sisky's girlfriend help us out and whatnot, but William started listening to _Sleeping With Sirens_ again, and started telling us that 'If You Can't Hang' is the greatest diss track of all time and... he needs our help.

WILLIAM: ( _has his headphones in, and he's singing loudly_ ) Met a _boy_ at 17, thought _he_ meant the world to me, so I gave _him_ everything, _he_ turned out to be a _cheat_!

\---

"Fine. Call her. But ask her to bring soda?" The Butcher asks, before adding "And some munchkins? I love munchkins"

Sisky makes a face at him, dialing Ashley. Even the cameras can pick up a very distinct "Sisky Business!" from her side. 

"Ashley! Hey! How are you, my love?" The other boys turn to each other with my raised eyebrows. _My love_? They all wait a couple of minutes for Ashley to finish explaining how she is, because Ashley kind of takes forever to get to her point.

"Well, that's cool. Um, but I have a favor to ask, though..." he begins to say once Ashley finishes, but the microphones pick up on her screaming at Sisky before he can even finish his sentence.

"A favor? What, because I'm a woman you expect me to drop everything and do you favors? Sexism, Adam. Sexism"

"I'm not being-" Sisky begins to say, before catching himself "-okay, sorry. But this is a favor you'll like! It involves William, Mr. Saporta, big plans, and seducing"

There is a silence on the other line, and William crosses his fingers. There's some rustling and then Ashley says in an excited voice "Where are you? I'm on my way" 

"At school. Also, can you get some soda and munchkins? Mike wants to know" "Sisky, you're not supposed to say that _I'm_ asking!"

\---

( _It's now evening- Brendon and Ryan are sprawled on Mikey's couch, beer bottles in their hands. They're at his going away party_ )

"...and so, Brendon, you shouldn't compare the feeling you get listening to ~~shit~~ One Direction's music to doing crack if you've never _done_ crack in the first place" Ryan finishes his rant, as Brendon takes another sip from his beer bottle.

"It's a figure of speech!" He whines, shifting on the couch so that his head is resting on Ryan's thigh. He looks up to Ryan scowling down at him "Says who?" "Says _me_ "

Around them are their co-workers- Joe and Vicky are on the adjacent couch, taking turns playing Candy Crush on Joe's phone. Travie and Gabe are talking by the stereo (they're blasting The Smashing Pumpkins, a band that Brendon doesn't _mind_ , but he doesn't necessary _like_ ) and Mikey is talking with Jon Walker and a couple of other teachers. Brendon looks for Pete and Patrick, but he doesn't see them, because Pete and Mikey always create drama and this party is _boring_. But it's a Mikey Way party, so it's not like anyone, even the cameramen, expected much.

"Where are P and P?" Brendon asks, as Ryan shrugs "No idea. Don't really care.... but wouldn't it be funny if Pete just stormed in here and made a huge scene and started crying? Like if he got down on his knees and begged for Mikey to take him back? That'd be hilarious" Ryan begins to laugh, and Brendon turns to blink at the camera

\---

BRENDON: Okay, Ryan is kind of sadistic but it's ~~fucking~~ hot. Like 'whip me Daddy! ~~Fuck my throat and make me choke!~~ '. Wait, did that rhyme? See, Ryan, I too am a poet.

\---

"This is the lamest party ever" Brendon says, once Ryan finishes laughing, and Ryan shrugs. "I haven't been to many parties before, this isn't half bad" Ryan eyes the pizza and beer on the table.

"...so you've done ~~shit~~ tons of coke and never been to a party?"

"Yeah, in high school. My friends and I used to snort coke and listen to Coldplay. Good times, good times. I still do that sometimes, actually" Ryan says, nonchalantly, before adding "By the way, and this is really random, but you know that guy you were telling me to listen to? The... the... the one with the hair?"

Brendon smirks "The Weeknd? With an 'e'?" "Yeah! Yeah, him! I can't believe I'm saying this, but like... he's not half bad. I like his aesthetic, that whole ~~snorting cocaine off pussy~~ while living the trill life" Ryan says, with a straight look on his face. In fact, that same monotone expression only shifting when Brendon was laughing so hard he started snorting, and Ryan couldn't help but crack a smile

\---

BRENDON: _(his face is zoomed in because he's shaking the cameraman's shoulder out of the frame and shrieking)_ Isn't this exciting?! Ryan Ross is my actual friend!?! I don't have to bribe him to hang out with me!!!

RYAN: I know this is hard to believe but I don't have a lot of friends. So... I don't know. Having a friend is kind of weird. Especially when that friend is _Brendon Urie._

\---

After a couple of minutes (after Brendon begged Mikey to put on the radio), something truly miraculous happened- "Can't Feel My Face" came on the radio. Brendon's expression brightens, as he immediately turns to face Ryan. 

"RYAN!" Brendon yells, as Ryan flinches, making a face at the cameras once Brendon starts grabbing his hands. "Let's dance!" 

At this point, everyone is pretty much buzzed, since Joe and Victoria brought hard liquor with them. And all of the teachers have known Brendon for a while, and Brendon dancing and bursting into song isn't anything anyone doesn't expect. In fact, Joe sighs from the other side of the couch, already anticipating Brendon's dancing. It's usually him grinding on someone's dining room table, though.

"I'm not dancing, I don't dance. Who dances?" Ryan says, shaking his head. But again, there is one thing anyone can take from this show, is that Brendon is stubborn, and doesn't like taking 'no' for an answer. 

"Ryan! Come on! One dance! You like this song!" "No, I don't!" 

\---

RYAN: I don't dance. And I'm certainly not ~~fucking~~ dancing with Brendon. But, with that being said, I actually do enjoy this song. It reminds me of the feeling I get when I'm at a Coldplay concert. Also... because I'm so high when I go to their concerts that I physically can't feel my face either. 

\---

Brendon shrugs, and starts dancing in a circle around the couch where Ryan is sitting. He's not doing that "grindy" thing he did earlier in the classroom, but he's just skipping around the couch, and pausing every couple of seconds to move his shoulders and sing at Ryan " _I can't feel my face when I'm with you! But I love it_!"

He grabs Ryan's hands, and he starts to sway with Ryan's limp arms, while Ryan glares at him. "I'm not dancing with you!" "Come on! One little song! Please? Pretty please? Pretty pretty-" "Oh my god, ~~fuck you~~ " Ryan grits his teeth, before getting up.

\---

RYAN: He wasn't going to stop! He was going to bother me about it all night! Okay?!

\---

This makes everyone pay attention, because Ryan doesn't do much of anything, besides make the occasional ludicrous statement. But he holds Brendon's hand in his, and he starts moving his shoulders and head to the beat with Brendon, singing along to the lyrics reluctantly at first. But as the song progresses, and as they just mindlessly stare into each other's eyes, he starts singing louder. 

" _She told me 'don't worry about it!' She told me 'don't worry no more!' We both know we can't go without it!_ " They sing at each other, getting the lyrics wrong because they're both clutching beer bottles and giggling at each other, but they're just in their own little universe, oblivious that everyone is sort of watching them now. It isn't until the song ends, that Ryan realizes what the hell just happened, when he looks around to see everyone staring at him. 

\---

BRENDON: ( _grinning_ ) So. That happened!

RYAN: ( _groaning_ ) So. That happened. And I kind of _liked it_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO- thank you so much for 100+ kudos?! people like this trash?! wow!!!! but really, thank you guys so much i was so excited when i saw it and!!! wow! you guys deserve a better chapter, which i PROMISE i'll write once i finish my homework!
> 
> ALSO- i know all of the lyrics to 'if you can't hang' just like william, because i was SWS trash in the 8th grade, and some of that came back to me when my friend told me to listen to their newest album. what year is this @ me. 2013 or 2016 get it TOGETHER and stop talking about kellin quinn. and stop talking to yourself in the notes of your fanfic


	10. Lifted Sidewalks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so :/ this was kinda sucky cause i've been so unmotivated and uninspired lately, especially since i took a break from writing to do a shitload of HW but hopefully this wasnt so bad and hopefully it'll be better next week

( _Patrick and Pete are walking out of a bar together the night of Mikey’s party_ )

“-And anyways, it’s not like… not like I can’t get anyone else, you know? I’m hot as ~~fuck~~ ” Pete yells, as Patrick stifles a laugh in his shoulder, trying to shush him.

“I know, I know, you don’t have to announce it to the world” Patrick gives an apologetic look to a woman with kids who gave Pete a disapproving look (her kids wave at the cameras, though)

“But I do! Ricky, I’m hot right?” He then pauses to burp right in Patrick’s face, before laughing again. Patrick grimaces at the camera, before turning back to Pete “So hot”

\---

PATRICK: After Pete begged me to take him drinking after the whole, you know, Mikey situation, I just decided to bring him to the bar across the street from my place so that at least I could bring him back to my place where he can puke in peace. The only thing I’m really thankful about is that Pete’s a quote unquote happy drunk.

PETE: ( _giggles_ ) Hi! You guys think I’m hot, right? ( _attempts to do a body roll_ ) 

\---

“Like who gives a ~~fuck~~ about boring old Mikey! He’s so mean! He doesn’t even like dogs! Who the ~~fuck~~ doesn’t like dogs?! I ~~fuckin’~~ love dogs! We should adopt one” Pete smiles up at Patrick “We can name him Bowie, even though Bowie’s ~~fuckin~~ dead” Patrick sighs, wrapping his arms tighter around Pete “Thanks for the reminder, really. And I don’t think we can adopt a dog, Pete. But sure”

Pete pouts, his head buried in Patrick’s head. He’s sober enough to walk on his own, but the comfort of Patrick’s warm body is too good to give up. Patrick, on the other hand, is struggling to even walk, because he has the weight of a 31 year old man leaning on him, but he just deals with it, because he thinks the blush on Pete’s cheeks is worth it.

“Josh! Tyler! You guys like dogs, right?!” Pete yells at the cameramen, but he gets no response, as usual. Patrick gives the camera an apologetic look, for the third time in 2 minutes.

“I’m sure they like dogs, Pete, now can you shut up so that we stop getting weird glances?” Patrick hisses, dragging Pete across the crosswalk, and onto the street of his apartment.

“Fine. You’re becoming as mean as Mikey” Pete notes, slurring his words, and Patrick grits his teeth. There’s no point in arguing with him anymore, and Pete’s leaning on Patrick’s bad side, where his foot was injured, but they are only a couple of steps away from the entrance of Patrick’s building.

“No, I’m not. I just don’t want you to be arrested for yelling curse words at everyone” He sayssimply, and Pete nods his head in understanding. “Oh. So you love me still?” “Sure do”

They make it into the apartment complex with ease, but at the warmth of the lobby, Pete slumps against Patrick, closing his eyes “Nap time”

“No, asshole, not nap time” Patrick shakes him until he opens his eyes, because he’s dealing with a grown man here, not a teenager, but Pete just groans. “Can you carry me? Please?" 

\--- 

PATRICK: I wasn’t going to do it! I really wasn’t!  But he just looked cute, okay?! You saw how pink his cheeks got!

PETE: ( _yawns_ ) Anyways, you guys like dogs, right? I’m trying to prove a point.

\---

When Patrick picks up Pete and holds him bridal style, Pete kicks his legs out, and wraps his arms around Patrick’s neck- he’s surprisingly skinny once Patrick has a sturdy grip on him, and Pete can only lazily smile up at Patrick with glassy eyes. “You’re always saving me, Ricky. What the hell is up with that? Next time you get drunk, you should call me, and I’ll take care of you too” Patrick steps in the elevator, and thanks whatever God is up there that no one else is in there.

“Whatever” Patrick says, but he’s blushing so hard, his nonchalant attitude flies out of the window, because Patrick’s holding _Pete_ in his _arms bridal style._

“Your eyes are sooooo nice. I wish my eyes were as nice as yours” Pete brings his hand to his eye, frowning “Your eyes are the kind of eyes I could write… I could write like _poems_ about your eyes. They’re kind of green? But kind of blue? But sometimes they’re grey, too. What the hell is up with that? We should trade them. Baby blues for wide eyed browns.” He shifts in Patrick’s arm, squirming as Patrick rolls his eyes “Your eyes are plenty nice. Brown eyes are mysterious”

“You’re just saying that cause you feel bad I have ugly as ~~fuck~~ eyes” “I’m being serious! Not that you’re sober enough to get that”

They reach Patrick’s floor by the time Patrick finishes his sentence, and Patrick sets Pete down to get his keys- Pete just clings to Patrick’s arm, making faces at the cameras, and once Patrick gets the door open, he pulls Pete in with him, gives the cameramen a wave, and slams the door shut.

\---

( _William, Mike, The Butcher, and Sisky are waiting to meet Ashley at the diner, since they got kicked out of the school_ )

“What if she tells someone?” William asks, biting his nails. Because the last thing William needs on top of all of this drama is for Ashley Frangipane to fuck up his life and tell someone about it. But Sisky shakes his head “Hell no, Ashley isn’t like that, trust me”

“Speak of the devil” Mike mutters once he sees a flash of blue hair. And sure enough, it’s Ashley. “Hey ~~motherfuckers~~!” She gives a quick smile to the cameras, before sliding into the booth that the 4 of them are sitting in, and Sisky wraps an arm around her shoulder

“So? Tell me what you need my help with?” William clears his throat, his hands shaking. But when he looks up to Ashley, she gives him a comforting smile (and she steals some of The Butchers fries)

“Um. It’s kind of a long story. A crazy story” He takes another deep breath and quickly says “So over the summer break Mr. Saporta and I had a summer fling. I didn’t know he was gonna be our teacher and now I’m ~~fucked~~ because I’m in love with him but I think he likes Mr. McCoy”

Ashley’s jaw drops, and she blinks a couple of times “You… had a fling with Mr. Saporta? What?! How?!” The Butcher shushes her, and she glares at him momentarily, before returning her attention back to William

“I met him over the break when I went to Jersey! I told him I was 19, figuring I’d never see him again and then this happened” He lets out a huff, and Ashley pats his hand as some sort of comfort. “Holy ~~shit~~ , that’s some Pretty Little Liars ~~shit~~. Well, how far did the fling go? Did you guys kiss, or…” Mike coughs uncomfortably, and William’s face flushes red

“Well… uh… we ~~fucked~~ a couple of times…” He mumbles quietly, and Ashley’s eyes widen “HOLY ~~SHIT!~~ YOU’VE HAD SEX BEFORE?! Is it like in the fanfictions?!”

\---

ASHLEY: Fanfiction gave me Sex-Ed. More specifically “Destiel” fanfiction. No offense, but Dean Winchester is a bottom, and I’d fight anyone who tells me otherwise. You think a mighty ~~fuckin~~ ’ angel is a bottom? Plus Dean admitted to trying on his girlfriend’s pink underwear! Anyways, what was the question?

\---

Sisky buries his head in his hands, and The Butcher bursts into laughter without thinking about it. And William’s face is literally the shade of a tomato, but he shakes his head “They don’t stress the important of stretching but-“ “William, will you shut the ~~fuck~~ up, I really don’t need the visuals of Mr. Saporta stretching your asshole” “It’s true, okay?!” Mike and William bicker for a little amount of time, while Ashley orders a plate of fries and a milkshake.

“Anyways, Ashley, we were just wondering if you could help us out with William’s whole… seduction… plan, since he won’t shut up about Mr. Saporta” Mike says and Ashley grins “Dudes, I would be delighted. Anything for gay love”

Ashley leans in a little closer to William and takes his hands in hers “I can almost guarantee I can get you the dick T-M. Also, we’re definitely discussing sex later on, holy crap, I can’t believe innocent valedictorian William Beckett has gotten laid before” William can only offer her a grimace disguised as a smile in return.

\---

( _At Mikey’s party- Joe is falling asleep on the couch_ )

“Guys! Everyone!” Gerard calls out, clinking his fork on a glass of champagne. Not that anyone would necessarily need to tear their attention way from anything else, because after Ryan and Brendon got up to dance, it had been quiet around  the apartment, and mostly individual conversations were being held. Joe wakes up from his nap, and wipes his drool from his mouth on his sleeve.

“So! As you guys know, this is Mikey’s going away party, and… well, maybe we could get a few speakers up here to a say a couple of words to him!” Gerard sounds hopefully, but even Mikey, who’s sitting at the kitchen table talking to a very uninterred Jon Walker, looks skeptical

\---

JOE: What is anyone supposed to say to Mikey, exactly? Thanks for raining on everyone’s parade all of the time and being mean for no reason?

RYAN: Mikey is in my department, and I hardly even know anything about him. Not that I’m paying attention, though, cause I have Coldplay interviews to be watching, you know?

\---

“Um… Brendon! Brendon, why don’t you say a few words!” Gerard randomly picks Brendon out from the group of people who didn’t get up to say anything, and Brendon sucks his teeth in “I’m not really good at public speaking-“ “Come on, Brendon!” Ryan snickers from next to him and cheers him on “Yeah, Brendon! It’ll be awesome!” Brendon makes a face at Ryan before reluctantly standing up to where Gerard is standing.

“Um…well, I didn’t have a speech prepared but…” He starts to say, before his face lightens up. He puts on a faux serious face and says in a slow, and precise voice.

“So, Mikey…You want a hot body? You want a Bugatti? You want a Maserati? Well, you better work, bitch! You want a Lamborghini? Sippin’ martinis? Look hot in… a pair of swimming trunks? You better work, bitch! You wanna live fancy? Live in a big mansion? Party in France? You better work, bitch! Thank you!”

He returns back to his seat, as Mikey gives Brendon a confused look “Thanks?” Brendon just gives him a thumbs up, before settling in next to Ryan as Gerard calls up the next reluctant speaker.

Joe turns to Victoria and whispers “I think Brendon just quoted Britney Spears”

\---

BRENDON: You can quote Britney through anything. Even I quoted Britney at my grandma’s funeral! My mom didn’t appreciate that, though. Or seeing me there in the first place but ( _laughs_ ) the Straights always get offended at the most peculiar things

\---

( _It’s Saturday morning, and the cameras film Pete and Patrick walking out of the lobby from Patrick's building and onto the street_ )

“Dude, thank you again for, like, taking care of me” Pete yawns, bringing his hand up to his mouth before continuing- Patrick’s mostly blushing at how adorable Pete is when he does that.

“Like… I was totally ~~shitfaced~~. And I puked for like an hour” Pete’s wearing a black cotton Bowie shirt, one that (probably) belongs to Patrick, and a pair of sweatpants that are a tad too big. “And I made fun of Bowie dying! Your favorite guy!” He points to the Bowie on Patrick’s shirt, and Patrick shrugs

“It’s alright, man. Plus, you took care of me when I went through my break-up, so it’s like a fair trade” Pete hums in agreement, before looking down at the sidewalk.

“Hey, they fixed your street really quick” He notes, as Patrick raises his eyebrow. Street?

“They what?” He asks, as Pete turns to look at Patrick “You know. The lifted sidewalk that you tripped on. It’s gone!”

Patrick blinks at Pete a couple of times before it really hits him. _Oh shit_.

“Um… yeah” Pete narrows his eyes a little “Dude. You’re so lying, holy ~~shit~~ ”

\---

PATRICK: ( _hitting his head with his hand repeatedly_ ) Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

\---

“The truth about how I broke my foot is embarrassing” Patrick says quietly, as Pete nudges him “Dude! Tell me! I puked all over your bathroom last night, it can’t be as bad as that!”

“Pete!” Patrick sounds exasperated, and Pete covers his mouth with his hand, laughing “Did you break it during kinky sex with Jon?! Huh?! Stumpy, get it!” “No! Jesus! I broke it…” He starts saying, before shaking his head “You’re gonna get mad at me”

“I’m not gonna get mad at you, I’m a grown man!” “You don’t act like it! And okay! Fine! I broke it the night of the concert because you looked upset and I didn’t want you getting hurt so I watched you get in the car with Mikey just to see if you were okay, and to see that he wasn’t like abusing you or anything, but I ended up tripping on the ice! Okay?!” Patrick shouts, catching the eye of a couple of people on the street, before looking down at the ground. “Just don’t be mad at me, okay?”

Pete sucks in a breath, glancing at the camera for a second, before shaking his head “I’m not mad at you. I’m… I can’t believe you’d even be that concerned for me, it sucks that you broke your foot doing it” He gives him a small smile, before they reach his car “But, that’s, like, so gay. Just by the way.”  His small smile turns into a grin, and Patrick rolls his eyes “Gay isn’t a synonym for ~~shitty~~ ”

\---

PETE: I can't believe Patrick would do that for me, you know? I mean I know that we're, like, best friends, but... wow. I guess it's nice to know that someone really cares. Like Patrick has done so much for me lately, it's kind of crazy. I love that little guy so much. 

PATRICK: Hello darkness, my old friend! 

\---

( _Ashley and William are sitting on the swings at the park a block away from the high school_ )

"It's kind of nice talking to a girl. Like I love the guys but I don't know. They don't really wanna hear about all of my emotional ~~shit~~..." William trials off, and Ashley nods, kicking her feet off of the ground. The two of them have been swinging on the swings for a while, just talking.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I don't know why they wouldn't want to hear about the wonders of gay sex, but whatever. Anyways, are you sure this is going to be a good idea? Don't you want to wait a little bit, until graduation?" She asks, but William sighs from next to her.

"I don't know. I can't explain it. It's like... ~~fuck~~ , I can explain ~~fucking~~ quantum mechanics and I know all of these dumb SAT words, but I can't think of the right words to describe how I feel, you know? When I'm with Gabe, I just feel really warm inside. I don't feel like 'William, the lead in the musical' or 'William the Valedictorian' or 'William, the ~~fuckup~~ gay kid in the family'. I'm just... William. And he's Gabe, and he makes me feel safe and ~~fuck~~ , he treats me so good, you know? He's never rough with me-" He pauses "-Unless I want him to be-" Ashley bursts into laughter "It's true! Anyways, he's just... the greatest guy in the world, and I love him, and I don't want what we have to be gone because... because he's my teacher. I know it sounds ~~fucking~~ stupid because he's, like, 6 years older, and he's my ~~fucking~~ teacher but I love him so much" William stops there, before sighing "Sorry. That was a lot. I just... really miss him" He stops swinging his feet throughout his speech, and he's just sitting on the seat with his feet planted on the ground once he finishes, and Ashley slows down.

"Wow, that was intense. Don't worry, Bill, I'm gonna try to help you out the best I can. I see the way he looks at you, and okay I thought it was kind of creepy at first, but it makes sense now. I'm gonna get you guys back together, even if it kills me. Pinky promise?" She holds out her pinky finger and William links his own with hers. "So, wanna come to my house and try on some of my makeup?"

\---

( _Ryan, Brendon, Vicky, and Joe are all sleeping in the same bed, and Mikey walks in with two pots and starts smashing them together_ )

"Wake up! Get the ~~fuck~~ up! I need to pack and you all need to get up!" Mikey says, in a calm and monotone voice, and eventually Vicky tears herself from Joe's grasp to narrow her eyes at Mikey "Jesus ~~fucking~~ Christ, give me like 10 minutes! Be grumpy somewhere else!" Mikey rolls his eyes, but leaves the room.

Brendon and Ryan's legs are tangled in each other, and Brendon's head is resting on Ryan's chest, his mouth open and leaving a small patch of drool on Ryan's shirt. Meanwhile, Joe is pressed up against Vicky, morning wood and all. Victoria was stuck in between the 3 of them.

"Guys" She whispers, shaking Ryan and Brendon, both of whom weren't effected by the smashing of the pots and pans at all, awake. Her head is pounding just a little, and upon seeing the cameras, she actually cries out in frustration

\---

VICTORIA: Basically, the party went on for so long, and it was so boring that Joe and I decided that we wanted to ~~fuck~~ in Mikey's bedroom. But then, Ryan and Brendon thought that we were escaping out Mikey's window, so they followed us there. And afterwhile, we just all started talking and Mikey's bed is super comfy so we all decided to take a nap, and I guess that we just ended up falling asleep for good

MIKEY: This is why I hate people. Just. Everyone. You know that saying, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer? Yeah, keep no one close to you, unless you want them sleeping in your ~~fucking~~ bed with no way to wake any of them up without waking up the rest of the tenants in the other apartments.

\---

"Chris Martin!" Ryan blurts out, his eyes opening and focusing before he notices Brendon's head on his chest, the warm and sticky feeling of saliva on his chest, Joe's hard-on, and Victoria. "What the hell?! Where am I?!" He looks over, and notices a Star Wars painting and sighs "Oh. We fell asleep here?" Vicky nods, and she reaches over to slap Joe across the face to wake him up. "The devil wants us out of here fast"

Ryan looks down to Brendon asleep on his chest, and he slowly reaches his hand out to pet at Brendon's soft, brown hair. He's lying underneath Brendon, in the way that Brendon's legs are deadweight on his legs. The soft strokes on his head makes Brendon wake up, and he looks up at Ryan with a sleepy expression "Ryan? Am I dreaming?" Ryan rolls his eyes, while Joe wakes up. "No, it's real life. C'mon, we gotta go. We fell asleep at Mikey's" 

Brendon wipes his mouth as he sits up and groans. "Ughhhhh, I feel so gross" Ryan nods, sitting up as well. "Same. And dude, you still have a little..." He trails off, before reaching his thumb out and wiping away some of the drool on Brendon's face slowly. Brendon stares at him with wide eyes, but their "sweet moment" is broken by Joe. 

"This is sweet and all, but we gotta go guys. Just ~~fuck i~~ n the car or something, the smell of cats is literally embedded in my nose" Joe complains, as Ryan blushes "What?! We're not gonna do that!"

\---

RYAN: This was the stupidest ~~fucking~~ morning of my ~~fucking~~ life. And I don't want to have sex with Brendon!

BRENDON: YOOOOOOOOOO did you catch that moment between us?! 

\---

15 minutes later, the 4 of them are standing outside of Mikey's apartment complex- Joe still is semi-hard

"So... breakfast?" Brendon suggests, and the rest of them agree, mumbling about how none of them are gonna miss Mikey all that much. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LIKE I SAID i was kinda unmotivated but i hope this wasnt too bad and sorry for making everyone wait super long for this not so good chapter but idk :/ ahhhhgh.


	11. GRR3

( _Camera pans the chorus room- like usual, Brendon's messing around on the piano and Ryan's sitting at Brendon's desk, grading papers_ )

"Ryan Middle-Name Ross, I'm bored as ~~fuck~~ " Brendon sighs, his fingers idly playing some One Direction song. Ryan looks up from his papers, and rolls his eyes "Me too, Bren. I have to focus, stop talking" Ryan expects it when Brendon opens his mouth to start talking though- Brendon doesn't listen to comments like "Stop talking", as we know.

"Let's go out! Come on, you have a free period soon, right? I wanna go get some french fries. Let's go" He begins nagging, shaking Ryan's shoulders gently. Ryan lets out a sound of protest, shrugging Brendon's hands off of him "Can't, I gotta go home and walk my dog"

\---

RYAN: I love Coldplay more than I love living! Breathing, even! But I love my dog, Dottie, like right after Coldplay on my list of things I love. Brendon Urie is at the very bottom of that list. I mean, he's my friend, kind of, so maybe not... but he's still at the bottom. I think I hate Coldplay haters more than him- like, bands ~~fucking~~ evolve over time, okay?! And-

\---

"I wanna come! I've never been to your house before, I've never even met your dog before! What's her name? What's your middle name?" Ryan just smirks "My middle name is a secret. And I mean... if you buy food afterwards, I'm down" Brendon breaks out into a huge grin, hugging Ryan tightly "Yes! And I'm going to find out your middle name, even if it kills me"

"Yeah, somehow I don't doubt that. You're very persistent" "I know!"

\---

( _Pete’s scrolling through Facebook and then bumps into another ‘fellow’ English teacher_ )

“ ~~Shit~~!” Mikey hisses, spilling his entire coffee on whoever he bumped into. Pete yells at the feeling of scorching hot coffee, before looking into the eyes of who spilled it on him.

“Holy ~~shit~~ , I’m so sorry” Mikey apologizes, but Pete shoves Mikey away from him “Get the ~~fuck~~ away from me”

It would be nothing, but Pete’s skin feels like it’s about to burn off, and his shirt is soaked in “no milk, no sugar” black coffee. His papers have coffee on them, and they’re dripping wet, and Pete has class in 30 minutes, so Mikey shakes his head “No, let me help you!”

“Help me? ~~Fuck you~~ , I’ll handle it” But Mikey’s already got Pete’s papers in his hands, and ushering him to the bathroom. “Let me do this for you. It’s the least I can do”

\---

MIKEY: I know I can be… difficult sometimes. But Pete went into that relationship knowing that I didn’t want a boyfriend. It’s not my fault that I’m good at ~~fucking!~~

\---

“Do you have an extra shirt? I have an extra one you can borrow” Mikey says once they get in the bathroom- the very one that Pete was crying in just last week when Mikey ‘broke up’ with him. Pete doesn’t answer him, he just glares at him through the mirror

“You want to help me now? You care about me now? ~~Fuck you~~ , Mikey. You don’t even have… have the decency to break up with me but you want to make things right so that you can make yourself feel better?” His words are rushed and messy, and he’s gripping the sink so that he doesn’t faint, or something.

 

“No, I’m helping you because I spilled hot coffee on you. Don’t be ridiculous” Mikey says back to him, looking at him in the eyes through the mirror. In the background, the cameras are visible, just a little.

“I’m not being… ~~fuck~~ , I’m not being ridiculous! Can you just leave?” The sticky shirt begins to feel really uncomfortable, and Mikey’s steady gaze on him feels… oddly familiar. Mikey has a look in his eyes that looks normal to the camera, but Pete looks like he’s going to like… drop to his knees and blow him.

“I’ll dry your papers, you take off your shirt. I have an extra in my bag” Mikey pats the bag on his shoulder “I’m, uh, clearing my stuff, and I found it. You can wear it, even though it’ll probably be a little long on you” He smiles a little at the older boy, but he rolls his eyes in response, peeling the shirt off, throwing it to the ground. Mikey can't help but look at the tattoos on Pete's torso, the stupid collar looking thorns, the bat-heart right above his dick.

And everything would be fine, expect there’s some sort of level of sexual tension built up- Mikey and Pete are staring daggers into each other, and Pete’s shirtless, and his chest is damp because of the coffee, and Mikey’s still craving caffeine, and they’re alone and… long story short, they look like they’re going to either screw each other, or kill each other.

“I’m going to miss you, you know? You might not believe it but…” Mikey begins to say, but he isn’t looking at Pete’s eyes as much as he’s looking at his naked chest. Pete seems to notice, because he scoffs “ ~~Fuck you~~ , you’re just going to miss all of the attention I gave you”

Mikey places the now dry (but coffee stained) papers on the counter, and leans in closer to Pete, narrowing his eyes “Why do you keep saying things like this? You knew that I only wanted-“

“I knew?! I didn’t know anything, you… you’re so misleading! You say that you were over me, and that you didn’t want a boyfriend, and then a day later you’d beg for sex and act as desperate as me. You just… you just loved that I loved you! You liked having me around because I always made you feel better about yourself but-“ “Who told you that, Patrick?”

Pete pauses, as Mikey rolls his eyes, like it's the most obvious thing in the world (except it kind of is) “Dude, the only reason Patrick told you that is because he’s into you” And when Mikey leans in to kiss Pete, Pete lets him, lets him push him against the wall of the bathroom.

“One more time, Pete. Come on, we have a couple of minutes” He mutters against Pete’s neck, and Pete just moans in response. The cameramen then cough, and awkwardly leave the bathroom, bumping into Ashley, who has her ear pressed against the bathroom door.

\---

ASHLEY: ( _has her palms pressed against each other and her eyes are closed_ ) God bless gay sex. Even though Mr. Stump is going to have a heart attack when he finds out… god bless gay sex.

PETE: _(out of breath, wearing Mikey’s shirt_ ) Don’t give me that look, okay… I hate myself, I love suffering like this

JOE: How was my day today? Okay, I guess… nothing out of the ordinary… I saw, like, come stains in the bathroom, but that’s a regular Tuesday.

\---

( _Patrick’s at the piano, playing different scales for his music theory class_ )

“So, you just…” He plays a G scale, singing the solfege notes. From the back of the room, Ashley applauds him. “Slay my life, Patrick! You can _sing!”_

Patrick sighs. “Don’t call me that. And yeah, sort of… I guess” He blushes a little, because he isn’t used to singing in front of students- he only sings for Pete, when they write music on their free time.

“You’re really good, Mr. Stump! Do it again!” Sisky cheers Patrick on, and sooner rather than later, the entire class is yelling at Patrick to sing again.

\---

PATRICK: I’m not a singer, not at all. Pete thinks I’m really good but… _(flushes pink_ ) yeah… But anyways, having supportive students is amazing, even if they’re a tough group to deal with. Like, I feel like I’d rather have nice students who give me some difficulty when it comes to listening, as opposed to mean students who do what they’re supposed to. Like AP students, holy ~~shit~~ , I hate those ~~fuckers~~ so much. They’re so _mean._ One of them used me as an experiment for their AP Psych project too! They classically trained me to… Wait, what was I talking about again?

\---

“Okay, okay!” Patrick shushes the class, before taking a deep breath, pressing on the keys softly

“Do… Re… Mi… Fa-“ “Mr. Stump! We mean a _real_ song!” Mike yells, as Patrick grits his teeth. “I still have to, like, teach you guys, you know?”

“Why can’t you pull a Mr. Wentz-“ Patrick blushes once again, curse Pete Wentz. “-who just reads us poems by Edgar Allan Poe. Or Mr. Ross, who just plays Coldplay during class and tells us about how much he hates Mr. Urie” Ashley whines, but Patrick just shakes his head “Okay, how about this. If you guys stop talking, and actually listen to this lesson, I’ll sing a ‘real’ song first thing tomorrow”

For the last remaining 10 minutes, the only sound in the room is the sound of Patrick’s out of tune piano- it’s so silent it’s not natural but when the period ends, Patrick doesn’t reach for the Advil in his pocket, so things are improving- slowly but surely.

\---

( _Ryan and Brendon are walking outside with Dottie- Ryan and Brendon both have milkshakes as well_ )

“So, now that I’ve met your dog, who is ~~fucking~~ adorable by the way, I need to know your middle name” Brendon says, before taking a sip of his drink, one that Ryan bought- the same Ryan who claimed he had no money because he was broke buying Coldplay tickets.

“You already know my middle name” Ryan grins smugly at Brendon, and Brendon makes a face in response to Ryan's face. “No, I don’t!”

“Only a few people in the world know it, Bren. It’s top secret” Brendon pauses from walking, and he actually screams into the air, piercing and loud enough for Dottie to start barking loud, and enough for Ryan to wince and cover his ears.

“I want to know! I think I deserve to know, I’m… I’m your _friend_!”

“Only my family knows. And my ex-boyfriend, he knows too” Ryan rolls his eyes, as Brendon’s eyes light up. “Ex-boyfriend, huh? So Ryan Middle-Name Ross is capable of love afterall! What’s his number, I’m going to ask him”

\---

RYAN: Yeah, I’ve had a couple of boyfriends before. Why do you look so surprised?!

\---

“You wouldn’t know him. But people call him Dank Eyes” Ryan rolls his eyes again, before looking back at Brendon “Anyways, there’s no way I’m telling you”

“You’re acting like one of the kids! Come on, if you tell me… if you tell me, I’ll grade your papers for the next week” Brendon bites his lip, giving Ryan his best impression of ‘puppy eyes’- without hesitation, Ryan says “My middle name is Ryan”. He blames it on the puppy eyes.

\---

BRENDON: Ryan Ryan Ross? I mean… okay…. I guess I can dig that…  It’s so… alliterative, to say the least.

\---

“Ryan?” Brendon furrows his eyebrows, as Ryan sighs. “Yeah, my middle name is Ryan. I legally changed my first name when I turned 18. I kind of have issues with my Dad, I didn’t want to share the same name as him. Plus, I hate being “a third”. Ugh”

Now Brendon’s beyond confused, so he tugs on Ryan’s arm again “What? Being a third? What’s your real name, then?”

Ryan takes a deep breath, before saying “George Ryan Ross the Third" 

\---

BRENDON: Holy ~~shit~~. I’m hard right now. Feel it, I’m hard! That's such a ~~fucking~~ epic name, that sounds like the name of some king from a European country

\---

“George Ryan Ross the Third” Brendon repeats back, testing out Ryan’s name. He turns back to Ryan with wide eyes “Ryan! What the hell, that’s so… majestic!”

“I hate it” Ryan groans, as Brendon grabs Ryan’s arm to get him to stop walking. “Don’t hate it, Ry! It’s awesome! But I get it, not wanting to be named after your Dad. I kind of have resentment towards my Dad too” He punches Ryan’s shoulder gently, smiling as he says “I guess we both have daddy issues, huh?”

Ryan rolls his eyes at Brendon's comment- but he can’t hide his smile. "Yeah, I guess"

\---

RYAN: That wasn’t even that cute of a moment... so why do I feel like a ~~fucking~~ teenager doing coke for the first time?!

\---

( _Pete bursts into the music department room- Joe and Vicky are watching cat videos on YouTube in the corner of the room, but Patrick's sitting at the table, rearranging music for the musical_ )

"Patrick, I need to talk to you" Pete says, closing the door behind him- Joe and Vicky look up, and Joe automatically brings a hand up to his forehead "Pete, you manwhore. Your ~~fuckin~~ semen was in the bathroom, wasn't it?!"

Patrick whips his head around to glance at Pete- he automatically sees the long, button up shirt Pete's wearing that could only belong to Satan Mikey Way, and Pete still has fresh marks on his neck- plus, he stinks of sex.

"Sort of... I mean, ~~fuck~~ , Mikey spilled his coffee on me, and he kept tempting me and he was crowding me and... ~~fuck~~ , Patrick I really have to talk to you" But Patrick's only staring at the marks on Pete's throat, where Mikey's mouth was. He looks up at Pete with cold, icy eyes "Talk to Mikey, I have ~~shit~~ to do" 

He stands up, and gives Pete another once-over, before walking out of the room, slamming the door behind him. And then he downs 2 Advil pills in the hallway, because you know, things in this school can't get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, im really sorry if these last few chapters aren't as good, i've had a lot of HW now that APs are approaching (kinda) and my APUSH teacher just :) loves to make us suffer. anyways, next week is the superbowl and eccentric times!ryan's favorite band is performing the show in real life so next chapter is gonna be very superbowl based. wish me luck cause i hate football! 
> 
> also fun fact: it took me like 2 months to wrap the fact that ryan's real name is george around my head


	12. The NFL Saved The Gays (Superbowl 2k16)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a really small detail but i changed the name that patrick used to talk to pete about pete (it used to be "nate") to jason because well. patrick, joe, andy, and jason
> 
> ALSO- super sorry this chapter is very long! i didnt update on sunday and wanted to make up for it!

( _The camera pans a small classroom- around the walls are Coldplay posters, as well as posters from the hit movie Moulin Rouge- Ryan is such a slut for Moulin Rouge)_

“So, if you guys open up to page 113-“ Ryan begins to say, before one of his students raises their hand. He looks up from the book in his hands, and glares at them behind the frame of his glasses.

“What do you want?” It’d come off as rude, but that’s Ryan for you. His students aren’t easily offended by him, only because it’s hard to be offended by someone who worships Coldplay. His student just shrugs before saying “Mr. Ross, sir, are you ready for Coldplay’s performance on Sunday?”

And the rest is inevitable- Ryan throws down his book, gets out of his seat, and starts pacing around the front of the room. The rest of his students grin at each other- they’re pretty much done learning in his class, because Ryan usually gets sidetracked. It’s sort of a wonder how he still is a teacher, but Ryan is the bullshit master.

“Am I ready? Am I ready? That’s the thing- none of us are really ready for anything in the world. Am I ready for the King of Pop to destroy my life once again?” Another student raises their hand, and Ryan pauses from his rant to call on her

“Mr. Ross, I don’t think Chris Martin is the King of Pop… isn’t that Michael Jackson?” Ryan just laughs “What kind of Patrick Stump B.S is this?! Chris Martin is most definitely the King of Pop, and-“

\---

PATRICK: ( _rolls his eyes_ ) Ryan is delusional- how can he possibly argue that Chris Martin had the same influence on music that Michael Jackson did?! Sure, “Viva la Vida” is an amazing song, and sure, “Fix You” and “The Scientist” are classics- but you can’t… you can’t compare the two together!

RYAN: Why is Chris Martin the King of Pop? Because he is. I love you, Chris Martin ( _makes a heart with his fingers_ ) Even if you made a dumbass move when you decided to marry spray cheese hater Gwyneth Paltrow 

\---

( _Travie’s outside on another cigarette break- he’s visibly relaxed, but once Pete walks out and spots him, he closes his eyes and rubs his forehead with his free hand_ )

“Travie! Just the guy I was looking for!” Pete says, as Travie winces, bringing a hand up to wave to him. Pete sits next to Travie on the bench that he’s sitting on, and he pulls his knees up to his chest, and leans his head on his knees.

“Travie, I ~~fucked~~ up big time” He begins to say, as Travie looks into the camera with a blank expression

\---

TRAVIE: I don’t really know what about me screams ‘I’m willing to listen to your problems and give you good advice’ but… whatever. All I know is that at home, I have Patrick stressing over… over “Pete-key”, and here, I know have Pete stressing over Patrick, and then I have Gabe who is _~~fucking~~ the valedictorian. _ But… I guess I don’t mind helping people out- I like helping people out… just, maybe not on my break. Or while I’m trying to watch football.

\---

“Wait… gimme that” Pete points to the cigarette in Travie’s hand, and Travie winces. “Pete, this is my last one, and-“ “We’ll share! Come on man, I’m freaking the ~~fuck~~ out here” Pete takes it from his hands, and takes a long drag “Okay, so-“

\---

PETE: At first, I thought that Mikey was lying about Patrick being into me and all, but you saw how Patrick acted when he heard about Mikey and I ( _frowns_ ) But it doesn’t make sense… he was into that other guy before, wasn’t he? Jason, or something? And I going crazy?  Plus, wasn’t Patrick dating Jon for the longest time? This is the wooooorst.

\---

( _TIME SKIP- It’s Sunday night, and Brendon and Ryan are sitting in Brendon’s car in front of Joe and Vicky’s apartment complex, going over rules_ )

“ ~~Fuck you~~ , Brendon! Your favorite band isn’t performing the Super Bowl, are they?!” Ryan practically hisses at Brendon, crossing his arms and glaring at him. Before Brendon got to know Ryan, he would have automatically backed off and started nagging at Ryan so that he wouldn’t stop talking to him. But now, Brendon and Ryan are friends, like actual friends, and Brendon’s allowed to call Ryan out on his nonsense.

“Dude, all I’m saying is that you can’t start throwing things at Joe’s TV because Coldplay isn’t on the screen yet! I know this is an… exciting… time for you” Ryan raises his eyebrow, but keeps listening “But you also can’t scream about Coldplay because it’s late and other people in the other apartments aren’t as obsessed as you” He gives Ryan a small smile, and Ryan gives him another one back after trying to suppress one under a glare. “Fine. But same thing goes for you when Lady Gaga does the national anthem”

\---

BRENDON: I’d DIE for Gaga. I’m literally PRAYING for Gaga to be a surprise guest at the performance and perform “Telephone” with Beyoncé- it’s only right!! Or debut Telephone 2.0… I can feel it in my bones.

RYAN: ( _rolls his eyes_ ) He’s over-exaggerating it. I’m not that obsessed, okay?  And before you even ask, because I know you will, Brendon offered to give me a ride, so… go ~~fuck yourself~~

BRENDON: We’re also trying to work on his bad language, but it’s not really working ( _shrugs_ ) His cursing is cute to me, though, like _(lets out a groan_ ) that dirty mouth just gets to a guy, y’know? 

\---

( _Joe, Vicky, Gabe, and Travie are all settled on the couch, waiting for the game to begin. There are platters of chips and dip, wings from KFC, and bottles of beer littered on the table. But, Patrick is sitting in the corner of the living room, with a stack of musical papers, with a glass of wine and mountains of sharpies. Gabe notices that Patrick’s alone, and goes to talk to him)_

“You look… _stressed_ ” Gabe says, overlooking the work that Patrick’s doing. He’s lying on his stomach with a pillow stuffed under his hips and he looks up to Gabe. Gabe doesn’t really talk to him, that’s more Pete than anything, but he’s not, like, unwelcome. It’s still weird talking to him since it was never clarified that him and Patrick’s _lead singer_ were an “item” but it also wasn't clarified that he _wasn't_

“Um, yeah. Just a little” Patrick gives Gabe a small smile, and Gabe sits so that he’s “criss cross apple sauce” and starts playing with the sharpies “Can I help?” Patrick thinks for a moment, and then hands Gabe a stack of sheet music “Actually, yeah. I’m just color coding everything… like, see how the soprano line goes everywhere? Can you just highlight the lines where the sopranos sing in green?” He sighs, taking a break to rub at his face “I would have done one copy, and put it into the coping machine, but it only prints black and white, and I only realized it would have been a good idea to do that after I printed out thousands and thousands of sheets cause I’m an idiot”

\---

PATRICK: Like… you would’ve thought that I would have had the common sense to at least mark where the lines were? But I was really mad that day at Pete, and I just started mass printing papers. The noise of the copier is really comforting, and Travie bought a new pack of cigarettes and gave me one so… I’m calmer than I was before. I’m not like _broken-hearted_ , I’m just… kinda pissed off.

GABE: How is William? Uh, you tell me… we haven’t really had a conversation in a while. And don’t get me wrong, I miss my little Bilvy, but I have to be a responsible adult? Even though his birthday is in a couple of weeks and he’ll be 18 and an adult in the eyes of the government, I need to be the adult… need to be the adult. It’s kind of weird though, I feel like his friends are conspiring against me. I’m about 99% sure Ashley Frangipane has started a log on my behavior.

\---

“It’s alright, my guy. But besides that, you look a little… tense” Gabe says, wincing when Patrick looks up with him with a glare. “Sorry! I’m a vibe person! I pick up on vibes!”

Patrick gives up on his death glare, and sighs. He uncaps a blue sharpie and returns back to a stack of papers he had just finished underlining in purple. “Yeah, uh… well, Pete and I are sort of in an unofficial argument. I don’t know, I’ve been giving him the cold shoulder” He hands Gabe a green sharpie, and gives him a pointed look. Gabe uncaps that marker, and starts working on yet another stack of paper. From behind them, Joe, Vicky, and Travie are just talking and laughing, and making fun of the footballers (especially Peyton Manning and his huge forehead)

“That sucks. I mean, you guys will get through it, right? You guys seem really close” Gabe states, but Patrick just shrugs, reaching to take a sip of his wine. “Yeah, I guess, I mean we’re best friends, but… I don’t know, Pete always makes these destructive decisions, and I should have known that and I shouldn’t have gotten so mad but… I don’t know. He did something that shouldn’t be a big deal, kind of, but it’s a big deal to me because… yeah” Gabe just stares at Patrick and just nods when Patrick finishes his sentence.

\---

GABE: ....What the ~~fuck~~ did he just say?

\---

As Patrick keeps rambling on about Pete to Gabe, trying to maneuver around directly saying “Pete ~~fucked~~ Mikey, and I got upset because I’m in love with him” the front door opens, and Ryan and Brendon walk in, along with Pete, who is carrying bottles of rum with him.

“The life of the party just got here!” Brendon yells, kicking his shoes off. He immediately reaches for the bottle of wine that’s on the kitchen counter, and Joe runs to help Pete put the liquor away

“The life of the party indeed” Joe says, looking at the bottles of rum fondly.

“Guys, don’t forget that we have school tomorrow? I don’t think Boss Man will appreciate if we all come in hungover” Travie tries to say, but by the time he finishes his sentence, Vicky’s already pouring a shitload of it into a glass with Coca-Cola. “Boss Man can ~~suck my dick~~ ” She says, chugging the entire thing down.

\---

VICKY: ( _taking a sip out of a new drink_ ) I really hate football, so this is the only thing that is gonna keep me going. The only reason I even asked Joe if we could have this party was that we could watch Ryan Ross react to Coldplay being on screen

\---

As Brendon and Ryan settle on another couch together (no one really questions it anymore- they’re the new “Pete and Patrick” except the fact that Pete and Patrick are nowhere as extreme as the both of them. As Joe once said, they’re Pete and Patrick on cocaine), Pete notices Patrick and Gabe sitting together in the corner of the room, talking and drinking wine and marking papers (?) with sharpies. And usually that’s Pete’s job, helping Patrick out when he doesn’t want to watch football or has too much to do at a party. It sort of feels like a stab in the heart, just a little. But he just sits on the floor next to Ryan and Brendon’s couch and stuffs his face with chips

“Dude! You should talk to him! He looks like a wounded puppy and you keep looking over to him. It’s kind of obvious” Gabe begins to say as Patrick rolls his eyes and takes another sip of his wine “I’ll just soak myself in wine, and it’ll be fine. And… and he doesn’t look like a wounded puppy” Patrick whispers, looking over to make sure that Pete doesn’t look like a wounded puppy. But then, Pete feels his gaze, so they make eye contact for a split second, before Patrick tears his eyes away.

“ ~~Fuck~~ ” He mutters, before violently drawing a blue line on the (correct) line. “He looks like a wounded puppy” He whines, as Gabe nods “Dude, I know. You should at least try to talk to him!”

From the front of the room, Lady Gaga has come on to sing the National Anthem, and everyone in the room winces when Brendon, mouthful of chicken wings, screams “YASSS GAGA YASSS! ~~FUCK IT UP! FUCK IT UP~~! THE NFL SAVED THE GAYS! THE _NFL SAVED THE GAYS_ ” And Ryan gives him a bored and pointed look.

\---

RYAN: Chris Martin could have done it better. Just saying.

VICKY: ( _snickers and takes another sip of her Rum and Coke_ ) I love Brendon and Ryan _so_ much

\---

It’s pretty boring for the first half of the game, especially since Travie (and sometimes Joe) are the only people who really care for the game in the first place. Ryan begins shaking in anticipation 30 minutes before the half-time show, and Brendon has to calm him down by feeding him mouthfuls of pretzels. And Patrick and Gabe are still making small-talk and color coding and it’s generally the worst night of Pete’s life. And Pete’s had some pretty bad nights.

“Patrick! Can I talk to you!” Pete blurts out once he really can’t take it, and Patrick just blinks at Pete, before glancing at Gabe. Gabe nods at him and mouths “Good luck”, and Patrick just picks up his glass of wine and says in the best Ryan Ross ‘I don’t give a fuck about anything except maybe Coldplay’ voice “After you” and he motions to Joe and Vicky’s room.

Vicky whistles “Get it” and Pete winces as Patrick turns around and says in the bitchiest voice he can manage “ ~~Suck my ass, Vicky~~ ” to which she just laughs “Dude, Pete’s halfway there!”

\---

VICKY: ( _shrugs_ ) Patrick Stump wants to get feisty with me, I’ll get feisty with him

TRAVIE: I just want to watch my game, man. I didn’t sign up for this.

\---

( _The camera pans Joe and Vicky’s room- it’s covered in Star Wars merchandise mixed with Vicky’s violinist awards and posters of Yo-Yo Ma and NSYNC. Then, the camera lands on Patrick staring at Pete with a blank expression from the bed, over the brink of his glass of wine_ )

“’Trick” Pete begins to say, and he sounds so helpless and upset that Patrick almost winces. He puts the glass down on Joe and Vicky’s bedside table and crosses his arms. “Pete”

“Trick, ~~fuck~~ , please tell me why you’re mad at me, you’re the only person I can really ever count on and you’re not talking to me and I’m just really confused and I’ve been drinking a lot and I finished an entire poetry book on this! Patrick! An entire ~~fucking~~ book in 4 days!” Pete blurts out, running his fingers through his hair, pulling at it. He starts pacing the dirty floor, because that’s what Pete does, worry about everything.

“I don’t even know what I did!” He cries, as Patrick frowns at him “I’m being bitter for no reason, okay? I’m just really stressed and… I don’t know, when you said that Mikey ~~fucked~~ you, even after we went through the fact that he’s just using you, it just… like, does my opinion really mean nothing to you?” He says in a quiet voice, as Pete shakes his head “No! It’s not that, ~~fuck~~ , I know what you said and I know it was a bad thing to do but he was just… there! And in my face! And he’s really good at manipulating me, you know that, and he was like ‘Oh, Patrick only said that because-‘” He pauses when he sees Patrick’s eyes practically bulging out of its sockets, and he takes a step back when Patrick’s eyes darken “Mikey said what?! Mikey said _what_?!!”

\---

PATRICK: That ~~fucking~~ snake! Mikey Way, if you’re watching this, I hope you… I hope your new job sucks!

\---

“N-Nothing! Mikey said nothing!” Pete tries to calm Patrick down, but Patrick’s so angry he’s practically seeing red. “Pete, just tell me!” His eyes are still wide with shock, and eventually Pete can’t take all of the yelling so he just comes out and says it “He said you only said those things because you were, like, into me! But…that’s ridiculous, right?”

And although Patrick says “Uh… yeah! Completely ridiculous!”, Pete can tell when Patrick’s lying. Patrick’s face is red from blushing and his hands start shaking, and Patrick’s suddenly interested in the carpet in Joe and Vicky’s room.

“Patrick…” is the only thing that Pete can really muster up, because suddenly, everything begins to make sense, Patrick’s sometimes unusual behavior, why “Jason” sounded oddly familiar, and so on. Patrick finally looks up to Pete and he takes a deep breath “Pete, don’t freak out, okay? It’s not that big of a deal, I’ll get over it eventually it’s just… I don’t know, been going on for so long that I can conceal it, I don’t want this to get in the way of our friendship, because I really value that and-“

And because he’s Pete and doesn’t know when to stop, or maybe it’s because Patrick’s lips are red from the wine and really inviting, and Patrick won’t shut up, but Pete just leans down and kisses Patrick, cradling his face with his hands. Patrick’s eyes widen at the unexpectedness, but he just eases into it, closing his eyes and bringing Pete closer to him until they’re both kissing desperately on Joe and Vicky’s bed, one of Pete’s legs pressed between Patrick’s thighs. It’s getting super uncomfortable for the cameramen, who just film Pete and Patrick moaning and grinding up against each other, but once Pete groans “Patrick” against Patrick’s neck, Patrick gently pushes Pete off of him, his chest heaving “Pete… ~~fuck~~ , Pete wait”

“Did I do something wrong? I’m so sorry, I-“ Patrick just moves until Pete’s leg isn’t pressing against his crotch and he’s still staring up at Pete like he can’t believe what happened. “You don’t like me, Pete… I don’t want you to like me just because I’m into you, you know? You need time to fully get over Mikey, I don’t want to… to be your rebound” He presses a finger to his lips, still a little unsure of what just happened and sighs “D-don’t get me wrong, I really liked that, but I don’t-“ “Patrick, you’re not rebound material!”

“ _Rebound material_? What would you consider… okay, no, I’m getting sidetracked. Just… ~~fuck~~ , can we just think about this before we get into something that’ll ruin our relationship?” Patrick usually more of the mature one, because that’s the way Patrick is, but right now, Patrick really does look 5 years younger than Pete, lost and unsure of what he’s doing. Pete just nods, and moves around Patrick to lie down next to him on the bed “Yeah… yeah, we can do that. So… are we okay? As okay as what just happened can be anyways” He trails off, as Patrick gives him a small smile “Yeah, we’re okay”

They just stay like that for a while, lying next to each other and looking up to the ceiling and just reassessing everything

\---

PATRICK: _(has his head in his hands_ ) I can’t believe I just made out with Pete, and _told him to stop_

\---

( _The announcement for the Halftime Show was just announced- Ryan’s sitting in front of the TV, clutching Brendon’s hand)_

“Where is Chris? Where is Chris? Where is-“ Ryan begins to say, before the intro to “Viva La Vida” comes on.

“Brendon, Brendon, Brendon” Ryan’s starts to say, clutching Brendon’s hand even harder than he already was. Ryan’s eyes are wide, and he’s grinning at the screen at the familiar tune of one of the best Coldplay songs ever, and Travie’s already wincing in preparation of what’s about to happen.

When the camera shows Chris singing “Viva la Vida”, Ryan breaks all of the rules that he set with Brendon and lets out a shrill scream. “I LOVE YOU, CHRIS MARTIN!” He screams, and starts singing along with Chris on the screen. It’s kind of weird watching Ryan act like this, because Brendon has seen Ryan get excited about Coldplay, and everyone else knows about Ryan’s general obsession, but Ryan’s face is practically right up against the screen and he’s singing the words back to Chris on the screen and sometimes turning to sing at Brendon- it's... endearing. Kind of.

The color scheme is really nice, Brendon has to admit. It’s very… rainbow. But everyone is broken from their trance from just staring at the pretty colors when Ryan starts sobbing the lyrics to ‘Paradise’ at Brendon- He literally shakes Brendon’s shoulders as he sings “THIS COULD BE PARA-PARA-PARADISE!”

And then Ryan pauses when the camera switches over to Bruno Mars and Mark Ronson, and Ryan makes a face when Bruno Mars starts singing on the screen, just as Brendon’s face lights up.

\---

RYAN: I thought we left ‘Uptown Funk’ in 2015? 

\---

Just as about Travie’s about to fall asleep, because he doesn’t really like how… melancholy it is, Beyoncé comes on the screen, and both him and Vicky yell “YES!” at the same time that Ryan finally pulls himself away from the screen. It’s kind of crazy, the impact of Beyoncé, because Travie’s already got the lyrics to “Formation” memorized and it only came out a day before, and before they know it, he and Vicky are dancing in their seats. They both simultaneously wince when she almost falls, but like the woman that Beyoncé is, she recovers like nothing happened, and she goes back to dancing perfectly.

“She’s so hot” Vicky says, staring at Beyoncé on the screen, and yet again, they’re all interrupted when Ryan shakes Brendon’s shoulder and points wildly at the screen, where Chris is in the middle of  Beyoncé and Bruno. “THERE HE IS! THERE HE IS!”  

“I love how they put the white guy in the middle” Gabe snickers, as Travie shrugs “Out of sympathy, bro. Everyone knows they’re outperforming Chris by a landslide and…” Travie trails off when Ryan turns around to glare at Travie.

\---

BRENDON: Don’t tell Ryan I said this, but come on. How can you think Chris Martin is hot when Guy Berryman is right there?!

RYAN: Okay, I agree, Beyoncé and Bruno were good but… Chris just is the star. He’s just the ~~fuckin’~~ star. I love him. He… he provides me with warmth and comfort

\---

Pete and Patrick walked out of Joe and Vicky’s room somewhere in the middle of the performance, and Patrick makes a small, pained noise when they show Michael Jackson in the tribute during “Up & Up” and Pete wraps his arm around his shoulder in some attempt at comforting him. Patrick just gives Pete a weird look, and shrugs, looking back at the screen (or what he can see of it)

The show ends with “Believe in Love” written in the crowds in rainbow, and everyone’s jaw drops- _Believe in Love_ … in _rainbow_?!

“CHRIS MARTIN SAVED US GUYS! HE SAVED THE GAYS! HE SAVED US!” Ryan turns around to yell at everyone, as everyone looks around with shocked glances. The fact that the NFL gave a shout out to the  LGBT+ community is… well, in Brendon's words, is "pretty ~~fuckin'~~ awesome"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyways :/ srry fr th trsh! 
> 
> and next week (VALENTINE'S DAY) is gonna have a lot of william & friends in it so! dont worry!


	13. Valentine's Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH i'm so sorry it took forever for me to update! i had so much homework, then i had to pack to go to disney world, and then i went to disney world, and then i had to do more homework and jefjjgnjgnd it was just a lot of homework and craziness. but yes! i am back with a shitty update!

( _Ryan’s standing in the lobby, squinting at the bright red and pink posters ‘Buy your Rose Grams today! Only $2!’ just as Ashley approaches him_ )

“Mr. Ross!” Ashley squeals, and Ryan jumps at the sound, before wincing and turning to look at her. He had her in his class last year, and she was an… interesting student, to say the very least.

“Hi Ashley” He forces out, through gritted teeth- he hasn’t had his daily dose of Coldplay yet, since Brendon brought him to school.

( _Footage: “…Are you ~~fucking~~ playing Gwen Stefani?! Get me the ~~fuck~~ out of this car!” Ryan starts unbuckling his seat belt, and he reaches to unlock the passenger door in the middle of the highway as Brendon sings, unaware “All the riches, baby! Won’t mean anything! All the riches, baby! Bring what your love can- oh ~~shit~~ , Ryan, no!”_)

“So, are you thinking about buying a-“ She motions towards the poster “-rose gram! For just 2 dollars, you can send your lover, like Mr. Urie, a rose for Valentine’s Day!”

\---

ASHLEY: If there’s one thing I love more than gay relationships, blue hair dye, and Sisky, it’s Valentine’s Day! It’s a celebration of romance and love! Anyways, rose grams are basically this thing, where you pay 2 dollars, and then the class board and I buy these roses, and then you write, like, a little message, and then we attach  it, and voila! ( _smirks_ ) To help Bill, I bought a couple of roses, and requested that they all get delivered during Mr. Saporta’s class! Jealously is the key to success!

RYAN: The only thing I like about Valentine’s Day is all of the chocolate that goes on sale after that stupid holiday- whenever I listen to “The Scientist” by Coldplay, I always need chocolate and tissues with me, because that song makes me _extremely_ emotional

\---

Ryan flushes pink at Ashley’s comment, and he looks down to the ground when he says “Mr. Urie isn’t my lover, why does everyone think that?” He looks up to Ashley and squints his eyes “Is he still going around telling everyone that we’re married? I thought we cleared that one a couple of weeks ago?”

She shrugs, before reaching into her pocket, and giving Ryan a single pink, index card. “Nah, it’s just obvious that you two like each other. And here, since you were my favorite teacher last year, you can have this one for free! You just have to get it back to me by the end of the day” She brings her hand to her heart and practically tears up “Gay love… is real love…” as Ryan takes the index card, rolls his eyes, and walks away.

\---

RYAN: ( _shows the blank index card to the camera_ ) Can I mail this to Chris Martin?

\---

( _TIME SKIP- It’s Valentine’s Day. Sadly, it’s a school day, but the school is decorated in pink and red hearts. Patrick walks through the hallways, scowling at the hearts and decorations, before walking into his music theory classroom/closet)_

“Damn, Patrick! Back at it again with the black fedora!” Ashley (who is supporting long, pink hair this week) screams at Patrick the second he walks into the classroom, and he’s greeted with loud laughter and screaming, which is just... great.

\---

PATRICK: ( _blinks_ ) What just happened?

ASHLEY: Today is such an exciting day! I can’t control myself! I love love love LOVE Valentine’s Day! This morning Sisky surprised me with a teddy bear ( _holds a pink teddy bear up_ ) I’m naming her after Destiel, the best gay ship in the world, only second to Kurt and Blaine on Glee. I ~~fucking~~ love Glee.                                              

\---

“Ashley” He says, bringing a palm to his forehead “How many times have I told you to _not_ call me… you know what? Nevermind! I give up!” Patrick drops his books on his piano pretty forcefully, and he stares at the keys with a blank expression. Valentine’s Day is the worst _ever_.

“Pat- _Mr. Stump_ , what’s wrong? You never give up that easily!” Ashley frowns at Sisky and the Gang™, before turning back to her favorite teacher “Usually you argue with us for half of the class period” She points out, as a couple of other students nod along “Yeah, Mr. Stump! What’s wrong?”

Patrick sort of can’t ignore the constant “Mr. Stump, what’s wrong?” questions being thrown at him, so he just shrugs, adjusting the fedora on his head “Nothing, I’m just... tired. And it’s the worst holiday of the year” He says, before he catches Ashley’s shocked expression “You hate Valentine’s Day?! But… why?!” 

“It’s just… it’s just a dumb holiday. I mean, any holiday we don’t get off for his a dumb holiday to me” Patrick points out, as Ashley contemplates that for a second or two. “I… _I guess_ , but still! Who hurt you, Mr. Stump?”

\---

PATRICK: Am I too old to be bitter about not having a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day? Probably… but it just sucks! And still I don’t know where I stand with Pete, and I’ve been trying to avoid him for the past couple of days and everything just sucks!  

( _FOOTAGE: Patrick is walking in the hallway, and he spots Pete on his phone, walking toward him. He quickly ducks behind a garbage can, and does a cross on his chest. He holds his breath as Pete passes him without noticing, and then he exhales loudly_ )

PETE: Oh, I totally knew he was hiding from me… you really can’t miss his fedora, you know?

\---

“Can we just move on with our lesson?” Patrick practically pleads, and he, naturally, receives a negative reaction. “Come on, Mr. Stump! It can be like group therapy and we can help you through your relationship problems!” Sisky suggests, before looking over to looking over to The Butcher and Mike for validation- they’re both fast asleep.

“But this is a _classroom,_ and I’m your _teacher_ , and I should _teach_ you guys because you’re my _students_ ” Patrick says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. And although it technically is, his students ignore him. “It’s a national holiday! We deserve a break! We deserve a break! We deserve a break!” Ashley starts chanting, until half of the class joins her (William has his headphones in, because he’s studying some advanced science, but he nods in agreement).

“Fine! _Fine._ But we’re going over the Circle of Fifths tomorrow, alright?” Patrick finally gives in, and he can’t help but crack a smile when the class cheers- it’s a good feeling, being liked by people. It’s not such a good feeling when he realizes that he’s going to end up ranting to his class about why Valentine’s Day sucks, and talking about all of his failed dates, but… whatever.

\---

( _William and his friends are all sitting in Spanish class- Gabe’s rambling on and on about more vocabulary, and there’s a knock on the door_ )

“Hi, Mr. Saporta! I’ve got a couple of rose grams!” Ashley waves a handful at roses in Mr. Saporta’s face, before peeking in the classroom- Sisky’s expression brightens when he sees her wink, but she’s actually winking at William. William gives her an odd look back, but she returns her attention back to Mr. Saporta

“You just have to give them to whoever they’re addressed to” She explains, before pointing one out “Like see, this one is for Sisky, so you just give it to him. Super simple!” She waves at the class, although no one waves back, and she turns on her heel “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

When she walks out of the classroom, she grins devilishly at the cameras. “You guys are definitely wanna get this! Also, I know this may be pushing it, but like… are you hooking up? Cause I totally ship it… Joshler is my life” She leans into the cameras to hug the cameramen, and smiles “Valentine’s Day!”

The cameramen go back into the classroom after giving each other sheepish looks, just as Gabe picks a rose out. “Am I allowed to read these out loud?” There is a chorus of “No!” but Gabe just smirks “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

William rolls his eyes at Gabe, just because he can, and he’s almost positive that Gabe caught it from the look on his face, but Gabe just brushes it off. “Okay! This one is for Sisky!” Everyone turns back to look at Sisky, because high schoolers are super nosy, and Sisky sinks in his seat Gabe reads out “Dear Adam, my love for you is stronger than your hatred for the movie ‘Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin’. Can’t wait to-“ Gabe twists his face up “okay, I’m not going to read that part. ‘Love always, Ash’”

\---

SISKY: Worst movie _ever_

\---

Everyone awws at Ashley’s message, and Sisky stands to retrieve his roses from Gabe with a blush on his cheeks, that only gets redder when he reads the part that Gabe didn’t say out loud. He unfortunately doesn’t show it to the cameras, but knowing Ashley, it probably had to do with sex.

The rest of the students, apart from William who _knows_ he won’t get a rose, wait patiently as Gabe slowly picks out another rose, going slow on purpose, just to build suspense.

“This rose is for-“ Gabe says loudly, before his eyes pass on the name it’s addressed to, before his breath catches in his throat for a second. “-William”

\---

GABE: ~~Oh, fuck. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh _fuck_.~~

\----

William automatically lifts his head off of his desk and stares at the rose with wide eyes. He got a rose?! From who?! Apparently the rest of the classroom felt the same, because they were watching Gabe carefully, waiting to see what the message was, and if it’s just a prank.

“Well, what does it say?” Mike asks, trying to hide a grin- he’s allowed to laugh at this, it doesn’t get more ironic than this, does it?

Gabe’s hands actually start to shake as he reads out “Dear William, you’re so cute when you wake up in the morning and you don’t have your contacts in, so you have to get your glasses, you drive me insane also I wanna-“ Gabe stops there, before coughing awkwardly “William, can you just take this?”

The entire class erupts into laughter “William, dude, what does it say?!” but William just stares at the rose in Gabe’s hands, before gulping, and standing up to get it. His fingers brush Gabe’s as he gets the rose, and they stare at each other for a split second- William’s still hurt that Gabe could move on so quickly, but Gabe’s now suddenly jealous, because who else gets to see William when he wakes up in the morning? But anyways, William hurriedly moves back to his seat, and he scans the pink index card

_Dear William, ur so cute when u wake up in the morning and you don’t have ur contacts in, so you have to get your glasses, you drive me INSANE also I wanna practice realistic gay sex with you and not fanfiction sex where they don’t stress the important of stretching! XO! –u know who it is_

William drops his head in his hands as Gabe calls his name again. _Ashley_

\---

( _Brendon’s teaching in his class, playing warm ups for his students to sing along with, until Ashley knocks on the door)_

“Another rose gram?” Brendon says to himself, before holding a hand up to get everyone to stop singing.

He opens the door, and Ashley greets him with a single rose in her hands “Mr. Urie! This one is for you!”  She smirks at him as he takes the rose from her hands gently, looking at it weirdly. He got a rose?! A rose??!! He thanks Ashley, and turns back to his class.

“I got a rose?” He tells them, trying to hide his excitement, but ultimately failing. He got a rose?!

“I bet it’s from Mr. Ross!” Someone calls out, as Brendon reads over the card, one hand on the pink index card, and the other twirling the rose.

_Bren- You’re sort of a good friend. Thanks for dealing with all of the Coldplay shenanigans (although it shouldn’t be too hard- Coldplay is the best band in the world), and always complimenting my poetry. From, George. Just kidding, don’t ever call me that. From, Ryan Ross._

After that, the class is forced to do their own work, because Brendon’s too busy screaming and kicking the air in pure joy to do anything else

\---

BRENDON: ( _shouting_ ) NO OFFENSE, BUT RYAN ROSS IS THE BEST MAN IN THE WORLD! ( _punches one of the cameramen in excitement_ ) THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY ~~FUCKING~~ LIFE, AND I’VE MET LORD BRITNEY SPEARS BEFORE

RYAN: ( _shrugs_ ) Yeah, it was whatever. He’s a really good friend when he’s not babbling about like… Ashlee Simpson. It’s 2016, who even listens to Ashlee Simpson anymore?

\---

( _Patrick’s rearranging papers in the Music Department, and Pete walks in, holding a cardboard carton with two coffees and some cookies_ )

“Hey!” Pete knocks on the door, despite already being in the room, and Patrick pulls out his headphones, eyeing Pete for a second. He’s wearing a shirt that says ‘Love Can’t Save You’ and it’s so incredibly _Pete_ that Patrick can’t help but snort at it “’Love Can’t Save You’? I thought you were over your emo phase?”

Pete sets the coffee down on the table, and sits next to Patrick “Dude, once an emo, always an emo”

\--- 

PETE: I know that Patrick and I agreed that we weren’t dating, and that we were going to try to, like, I don’t know, take this slow and think about our friendship. But I’m sort of a hopeless romantic, you know? ( _camera zooms in on the  ‘Love Can’t Save You’ shirt_ )

\---

“Yeah, sure. Anyways… what’s this?” Patrick eyes the coffee- he recognizes his coffee order on one of the cups, but he doesn’t reach for it.

“I know that things are kind of… different… between us” Pete begins to say, as Patrick scoffs “No they aren’t!” “Patrick, I saw you hiding from me the other day” He says, trying to stifle his laugh when Patrick turns red and buries his head in his hands “ ~~Fuck~~ you, you saw that?!”

“It’s fine! I know that things are awkward, alright? This is me trying to make it less awkward” Pete picks up Patrick’s coffee, and slides it over to him “I’ve done a lot more embarrassing ~~shit~~ , dude”

Patrick can’t resist the smell of the coffee, so he lifts his head- he’s still blushing a tad bit, but he nods “Well, I appreciate that. And I’m sorry that I hid from you, god, that’s so stupid-“

“ _Patrick_. It’s cool. Here, I got us some cookies, and we can rant about your day, and then I’ll tell you about how much I hate my life, and how much rose grams piss me off, and things won’t be awkward anymore. And then we’ll figure everything out”

And seriously, screw Pete Wentz for being so attractive and seductive with his fucking coffee and cookies. But Patrick nods anyways, giving him a small smile before taking a sip of his coffee. “Sounds like a deal. As long as you help me with these papers”

\---

( _Gabe’s pacing in front of Travie on his vodka break, pausing every couple of sentences to take another sip from his flask_ )

“-and another thing- who the ~~fuck fucking~~ invented rose grams?!” Gabe takes another sip, as Travie watches him, pace back and forth.

“William got 13 of them! 13 of them, Travie! ~~Fucking~~ 13 of them!” “Gabe, buddy, has it ever occurred to you that maybe William’s friends did it just to ~~fuck~~ with your mind? I mean, maybe William felt betrayed, or something, and his friends felt bad and-“ “ _Travis, please_! I checked the handwriting on each other, it’s all different!” (Ashley, thankfully, can forge any signature, and therefore can write in several different kinds of fonts)

“What if he’s really moving on?” Gabe stops pacing to sit next to Travie and he takes a gulp from his flask “What if William really, truly moved on?”

“Then he wouldn’t get 13 different anonymous Valentine’s” Travie points out, as Gabe considers this, before shaking his head “What if he’s ~~fucking~~ 13 other dudes? That’s got to be it… they were all so specific, you know?”

“I don’t know, man. It just seems fishy to me” “That’s it, Travie, he’s ~~fucking~~ 13 other guys… my little Bilvy…” Gabe wipes away a tear, as Travie stares into the camera, shaking his head.

\---

TRAVIE: Do I like being the quote unquote Mom of the group? Guy, I didn’t even know there was a group in the first place

\---

( _Cameras pan Vicky’s classroom, before zooming in on Joe giving Vicky some black roses_ )

“I know that you love black roses because it reminds you of death, so I just got you these” Joe says handing Vicky the roses, as Vicky laughs, and hugs him “Thanks, Joe. I got you some more Star Wars merch, but it’s at home” Joe doesn’t say anything back, only because he kisses Vicky with a whole lot of passion “Victoria Jane Asher, you’re the best woman alive”

\---

VICTORIA: Sorry we’re your cliché hetero couple _(shrugs_ ) Always glad to add a little… _normalcy_ to the documentary before you pan to Brendon and Ryan ( _gives the cameras a thumbs up_ )

\---

( _Brendon knocks on the door to Ryan’s classroom so hard he almost breaks the glass. Ryan swings the door open, and takes a step back when Brendon kicks high into the air_ )

“I got your rose gram!” Brendon screeches, before shaking the rose in a very unamused Ryan’s face. Ryan just rolls his eyes, and closes the door behind Brendon “I can see that. So you liked it?”

“Liked it? I loved it! Thanks so much, _good friend_ ” Brendon winks a couple of times after he says that, and Ryan laughs a little at how stupid and crazy Brendon’s acting.

“No problem” Ryan stands there, still, for a second before he does something he thought he would never do-

Attempt to give Brendon a hug.

He stretches his arms out awkwardly, and Brendon looks at him like he’s crazy (and he’s the one kicking the air) “Dude, what’re you doing?”

“I was… uh… well, I was gonna give you a hug, but-“ “What?!?! Dude, get over here!”

Brendon closes the space between them and hugs Ryan super tight, burying his nose in Ryan’s hair. Ryan’s eyes widen at how tight the hug is, but he (awkwardly) wraps his arms around Brendon’s waist, and leans his head on Brendon’s shoulder. Thinking about it, Ryan isn’t sure when he last hugged someone, but Brendon smells super nice, and he’s super warm, and he’s-

“Brendon… are you _hard_?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is 2016 and i, too, still listen to ashlee simpson,.,.., listen.,.,. she's not so bad,,.,. 
> 
> also i wrote this to try to lessen my hatred for rose grams. i still hate them, but thats because im always bitter i never get one >:(


	14. Up&Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back at it again w a horrible update!

( _Brendon is on phone with Patrick, while Ryan sits beside him. They’re both sitting in Ryan’s living room in their pajamas_ )

Brendon coughs loudly into the phone and says in a pathetic attempt at a gravelly voice “I’m _sick,_ I have a sore throat and I’m sick and I need the day off!”

“I saw you yesterday, you were perfectly fine! And Pete said that Ryan called in 10 minutes ago and said he was sick too” Patrick says, exhausted. Neither of the cameramen are at the school and therefore can’t see Patrick, but they’re sure that he’s taking out his bottle of Advil right about now.

“We’re sick together! Come on, Pattycakes-“ “-Brendon, you’re a grown man with a job, can you just come in, I need you today, we have to do stuff for the musical, and-“ Brendon sighs, exasperated “PMS, do you want me to infect everyone’s lovely voices with my illness? I’m sick!”  He gives Patrick another fake cough, and Ryan rolls his eyes “Just start talking about Justin Bieber, it’s enough to want him to get off the phone with you” Brendon sticks his tongue out at Ryan, before returning back to Patrick.

“Brendon, I don’t… ~~_fuck_~~ , you know what, feel better, take some medication, I don’t give a ~~shit~~ , be here tomorrow” Patrick hangs up on Brendon for Brendon can respond, but instead of feeling sorry that he screwed Patrick over or being offended, he just smirks at Ryan “We’re good to go”

\---

RYAN: ( _shows off his Coldplay tour shirt_ ) Today, Brendon and I are celebrating a day that I, personally, believe we should off of school. And that holiday is my anniversary of hearing my first Coldplay song… ( _holds his hand to his heart_ ) 15 years ago today, I heard the voice of an angel. God bless Chris Martin.

BRENDON: This is such an important day for Ryan, so I decided to come over and help him celebrate! ( _shows a cake to the camera- it says ‘Coldpla’ and then there’s a single ‘y’ under the ‘Coldpla’ line_ ). I over-estimated when I was writing it, but Ryan only complained about it for 15 minutes, so it was worth it

RYAN: Every year on my anniversary, I always listen through their entire discography, and watch the DVD. Most times I read while listening to it, or do some work, and sometimes I jerk off, because who _doesn’t_ get hard when they listen to Coldplay, you know? But, obviously, I can’t do that because Brendon’s here, because Brendon isn’t my boyfriend, obviously. Obviously.

BRENDON: At first, I was a little skeptical, because I’m just going to be sitting in Ryan’s apartment for 8.7 hours listening to Coldplay, and only Coldplay, but also… I’m going to be sitting in Ryan’s apartment for 8.7 hours, straight chillin’. Or should I say gay chillin’? Anyways, I’ve been dreaming about of this moment for _months._

\---

“Are you ready for 8.7 hours of Coldplay?” Ryan asks Brendon, smiling so wide his face might actually break. Meanwhile Tyler, one of the cameramen, mentally face-palms, since he’s going to have to film these idiots for 9 hours, listening to Chris Martin music. Josh, the other cameraman laughs at him as Tyler reluctantly follows them into Ryan’s living room, recording as Ryan talks about his Top 40 Coldplay songs.

\---

( _Josh travels back to the school. The camera is now in Joe’s classroom. Joe’s sitting at desk, eating a brownie from his plate of brownies and drinking a glass of warm milk, while reading a Calculus textbook. His feet are propped up on the desk, and he hums as he reads through the book. Suddenly, Patrick rushes into the room_ )

“Joe! Just the man I need!” Patrick says, as Joe looks up from his textbook and blinks at him slowly “Me?” He makes a face when Patrick nods, because the last thing he really wants right now is to be interrupted while he’s reading. Who doesn’t love reading Advanced Math textbooks in their free time?

“Yes, you! Wait, are those brownies?” Patrick walks over to the desk, and reaches for one, but Joe slaps his hand away “Duuuude… I wouldn’t eat one if I were you”. He grins at Patrick, who only glares at him.

“Why not? They look good!” “Pat, smell them” “Well, if you aren’t going to let me try them, why would I-“ “Patrick, just smell them” Patrick narrows his eyes at Joe even harder, and Joe prompts Patrick to smell the brownies. Patrick takes one off of the plate and brings one to his nose, before throwing it back on the plate “What the ~~fuck~~ , aren’t you teaching in an hour?! This literally _stinks_ of weed”

“Teaching in half an hour, technically, but I’ll be fine. Whatcha need, Stumpo?” Joe takes the brownie that Patrick threw back on the plate, and takes a bite out of it.

“Don’t call me that. And seeing that you’re, y’know, high as ~~fuck,~~ I’ll just go” It’s a great day for Patrick, really. First Brendon fakes being sick to hang out with Ryan despite the fact that they have to hand out scripts and go through schedules, and now Joe is high out his mind. 

“Wait, I can help! I only have one more class after this one, what do you need?” Joe tugs on Patrick’s cardigan sleeve. And normally Patrick would flip him off, but he’s so desperate for help, that he gives in and sits down on the closest desk and rests his head in his hands

“Brendon faked being sick this morning, the morning that I needed him here to do scheduling and help with the scripts, and Pete is out doing god-knows-what and isn’t here either-“ “Peeeeete, I love that guy. Are you two ~~fucking~~ or what?”

\---

JOE: ( _offers the cameraman a brownie_ ) Want? Vicky-T and I made ‘em last night, and they’re soooooo good. Ah, I love my life.

PATRICK: Yeah, Pete and I are good! We’re still working out some stuff, but I think he’s gonna ask me out, like for real? Because we’ve been talking a lot and he’s so flirty, and he’s always buying me coffee, and ( _sighs contently_ ) it’s great. ( _pulls out a bottle of Advil_ ) Like yesterday, he bought me a whole bottle of _gel_ Advil pills, and he knows how often I run out of Advil. Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, I hate my life, and I’m going to personally murder Brendon Boyd Urie myself.

\---

“No, we’re not. I mean, we made out in your bed-“ “You made out in my _bed?_ ” Joe scrunches up his nose, as Patrick shrugs “Yeah, long story. But anyways, Pete isn’t here right now, or else I would have asked him, but since he isn’t, I figured I would ask you if you wanted to help me out. Vicky would be there, as long as you guys don’t make out on my piano, I don’t care”

“So you and Pete are allowed to make out in my bed, but we can’t make out on your piano in front of your students?” Joe takes another bite from his brownie, and shakes his head “Makes no sense. But whatever, I’m in, I guess. Can you take us out for dinner, though? I want a cheeseburger”

\---

( _Patrick’s handing out scripts for the musical- it’s “Beauty and the Beast” and he brings his hand to his head when he hears a shrill scream that resembles Ashley’s. His head is killing him at this point, but if he takes anymore Advils, he’d probably overdose. Joe is sitting on the edge of the stage staring off into the distance as Vicky yells at some students to stop talking_ )

“So, as you guys can probably see, we’re doing “Beauty and the Beast” this year and-“ A student raises their hand, and Patrick blinks at them, before prompting them to go on “Let me guess- William is the lead?”

“William is the only one who ever _tries out_ for the lead” Patrick says through gritted teeth, and he looks over to William, who has his head buried in a textbook. He’s not sure how they can transform William into a scary beast, because, well, William is anything _but_ scary, but they’ve got no choice.

\---

PATRICK: I wanted to do “Rocky Horror” for the musical, but if you’ve ever seen “Rocky Horror” you’d know why I couldn’t do it. This was my only option, it was either this or “Les Miserables” and I hate “Les Miserables” more than I hate my life right now. And I hate my life a lot right now.

JOE: It… pains me to see Patrick so sad. ( _takes another bite out of yet another brownie_ ) Life is beautiful, guy.

VICTORIA: I’m _so_ over Patrick being this self-deprecating, but honestly, if I had Patrick’s life right now, I wouldn’t blame him. He doesn’t get laid, he and Pete are acting like pussies about their relationship, and he’s allergic to cats! Cats are the best thing about this world!

\---

“Anyways, I know that musical rehearsals are… a lot, but we’ll get through it, right? It’s always worth it in the end, so these next months of pure suffering are… worth it!” Patrick says, trying to convince himself more than his students. But they all nod, being yeah, being in the musical is sort of fun, especially when Brendon is there. Brendon makes every situation 100% better for everyone just by being there

“And since only 6 people auditioned for actual parts, which is just _fantastic_ , everyone got the roles they wanted! So, William, you’re the Beast” Patrick says again, as William’s friends congratulate him. William gives Patrick a thumbs up, and a smile that seems totally unconvincing

\---

WILLIAM: There’s almost no way that this is going to work, but I’m going to take a leap of faith, and say that I can pull this off. I can be scary, right? ( _He closes his eyes, frowns, and then when he opens his eyes, he attempts to growl at the camera, but it comes out more like a whimper_ ) Can you just… cut that out…

\---

Patrick reads out the rest of the list (Ashley screams when he announces that she got the role of Belle, but everyone saw it coming from a mile away), and they all go over a few more things, before the rest of the students leave, besides Ashley.

“Ashley! Can I talk to you for a second?” Patrick asks, as Ashley shrugs, waving goodbye to her friends “Sure, Pat, what’s up?”

“I’m not gonna even bother to correct you anymore” Patrick says, his headache getting the best of him. “And I don’t want you to get… offended”

She raises her eyebrow, and crosses her arms “Alright…” “Well... normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but you’re the lead this year, and uh, well, Belle doesn’t exactly have green hair…” He’s referring to Ashley’s hair- this week, her hair is shoulder-length and green.

“Oh! It’s okay, this is a wig” Ashley grabs Patrick’s wrist, and brings his hand to her hair “I’m not telling you to pull it, but if you did, I wouldn’t feel a thing!” Patrick retracts his hand almost immediately, wincing because he’s sure that he shouldn’t be touching his students hair (although that wouldn’t be the worst thing that has happened at the school- there was still that unresolved Gabe and William thing)

“It’s a wig?” He asks, as she nods “Yeah! How did you think I went from a blue pixie cut to long, pink hair?” She laughs, patting Patrick’s shoulder “Oh, Mr. Stump. What a guy”

And to be honestly, Patrick didn’t even think of it. Of course it was a wig, how else could Ashley achieve half of her hair-styles?

“Anyways, my natural hair-“ She pauses to gag “-is brown, but it hasn’t been brown in ~~fuckin~~ ’ forever, thank Castiel, so I’ll just wear a wig. And don’t worry, it totally won’t fall off and ruin your entire show” She smiles, as if she just didn’t put a horrible thought into his brain, and waves goodbye to him “Toodles!”

\---

ASHLEY: I can’t wait to make out with William on stage! I mean, I wish I were a guy, so that we could use this to make Mr. Saporta jealous, but we’re just going to have to work with what we’ve got. And Sisky is Gaston, and I love that whole “We have to act like we hate each other” because then that’s, like, a recipe for hot sex. Not that we’ve had sex yet, but you know. I can think of it, which is just as fun.

MIKE: How do I feel about portraying Ashley’s father in the musical? I mean it’s kind of weird… and by kind of weird, I mean really weird. But Ash and I are on good terms right now, ever since she sent those rose grams, _holy shit_ , that was the best thing _ever_

\---

( _Brendon and Ryan are lying in Ryan’s bed- Brendon’s fast asleep while Ryan writes his poetry, moving his shoulders along to Chis Martin’s voice- they’re on the “Viva La Vida or Death And All Of His Friends” album right now_ )

“Brendon, wake up!” Ryan looks up from his poetry to yell at Brendon on his bed. Brendon said to wake him up once Ryan got up to the iconic song “42”.

Brendon’s lying on Ryan’s bed on his stomach (he did this so that Ryan could pay attention to his ass), and his face is buried in one of Ryan’s pillows (so he could smell Ryan’s shampoo). Originally, his plan was seduce Ryan by getting him to move into his bedroom, but the plan failed when Brendon fell asleep almost instantly when his face hit Ryan’s mattress

“Mmm, Daddy” Brendon moans when Ryan hits his shoulder in an attempt to get him up. Ryan looks into the camera, rolls his eyes, and hits his shoulder again “Brendon, get the ~~fuck~~ up, you’re going to make me miss this song!”

Brendon wakes up that time, rubbing at his eyes as he adjusts to the light in the room. Ryan’s room is, like his classroom, covered in Coldplay posters and his bookshelves are packed with books. There are even books lying in the corners of Ryan’s room, piled up on top of each other, and his desk is littered with poetry books and colored pens.

“Sorry, sorry, I was tired” Brendon yawns, and Ryan can’t help but notice how sleepy and cute Brendon looks in this moment (he blames it on Coldplay), but he still narrows his eyes at him “Whatever. Anyways, we’re on your favorite song now” “ _Awesome_ ”

Ryan’s unsure of what to do now, so he starts getting up, but Brendon grabs his arm “Wait, stay with me, I’m too lazy to get out of bed” This is his attempt to get Ryan in bed with him, even if they’re just lying next to each other listening to Coldplay. And it works, for reasons that Ryan doesn’t know- Brendon just looked cute, and Ryan’s bed is comfy, so why not?

“If you make me fall asleep, I’ll actually murder you. Like, in front of the cameras and everything” Ryan says, climbing under the covers. He yelps when Brendon’s cold feet make contact with his legs, and he rolls his eyes when Brendon throws an arm across his torso, but he doesn’t _say_ anything about it, so Brendon doesn’t care.

“That’s hot, I get off on exhibition, so…. you don’t actually win in any situation here” Brendon says, sleepily, before adding “How many hours more?”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing. And like… 6 and half. You can sleep, as long as I can use your arm to balance my book, I don’t really give a ~~shit~~ ” And that’s about the sweetest thing Ryan has ever said to any human being ever, so Brendon takes it. (One time he said “I love you more than I love Colplay” to one of his ex-boyfriends, but they both knew that it was a lie, so it doesn’t count)

\---

RYAN: You would think that having Brendon over has been horrible, but all he seems to be doing is sleeping, so I don’t even care. As long as he’s not talking about One Direction, I’m happy ( _sighs contently_ ) and he’s really warm and cuddly too, and Coldplay always gets me in a cuddly mood, and… okay, if I have to say the word ‘cuddly’ again, I’m going to commit mass homicide, but you get the point

BRENDON: _(is fast asleep_ )

\---

( _Gabe is at the front of the classroom, going on about something teacher-ish. William stares at the screen, careful not to make eye-contact with Gabe_ )

WILLIAM: I have a system. Every day I prepare myself for when I have to see Gabe, so that I don’t have to look at him in the eyes. Like okay, I pass by him between 1st and 2nd period, so I always mentally prepare myself to look at the floor so that I don’t have to look into his gorgeous, beautiful brown eyes. And every day in Spanish, I mostly stare at the screen, or at the classwork, because it’s hard enough having to hear his sexy voice all period, you know?

\---

When the bell rings, William grabs his books, and starts to make his bee-line to the door. But, before he can leave, Gabe clears his throat and calls for William “Bill! Can you, uh, come here for a second?”

William looks dead into the camera, before turning back on his heel. He clutches his books closer to his chest as he makes his way to Gabe’s desk.

“You’re not in trouble or anything!” Gabe says quickly, once he sees William’s face. But of course, William isn’t thinking about being in trouble or anything (although his mind wanders to the last time that Gabe ‘told him that he was in trouble’ but that was all sexual and  now he’s thinking about Gabe’s dick and-)

“I just wanted to, uh, congratulate you! On the musical!” Gabe says, smiling once William finally looks up at him, because he’s noticed that William hasn’t really been _looking_ at him?

“Thanks” William mumbles, glancing at the door as Gabe keeps talking (since Gabe never stops talking _ever_ ) “Like, you’re so good at everything you do you know? And your hair! Like you could totally pull off that beast look ya know? Not saying that you’re a beast, but like… your hair is so majestic!” Gabe says, cursing himself in his head as he says these things, because right, telling your ex-boyfriend that his hair is majestic is the way to go.

“Um… thanks… again” William says, his cheeks flushing red, since he really can’t help it- he likes getting praised, okay?

\---

GABE: William’s hair is just, like, the best thing ever. It’s so soft and it smells like lavender, which you would think is weird for a dude, but it isn’t

\---

“That’s all! I just know how much the musical means to you, so…” Gabe trails off, knowing what William’s family is like when it comes to the musical- they hate when he does it. And William sort of hates Gabe for bringing it up, because it tugs at a few heart strings, but he instinctively reaches over to warm an arm around Gabe’s body. And Gabe’s eyes widen once he feels William let out a shaky breath against his chest, and he pets his hair “Thanks, Gabe. I appreciate that”

He lets go after a couple of seconds, and William gives Gabe one last smile before walking out of the classroom. And he’s well aware that Gabe is staring at his (nonexistent) ass, but that’s okay, because he doesn’t really mind.

\---

( _Pete and Patrick are making out in the Music Department- Josh films it through the window_ )

“ ~~ _Fuck_~~ , Patrick, I’m definitely _not_ complaining about this, but… are you okay?” Pete says between soft moans- Patrick’s mouth is on Pete’s neck, and Pete’s practically sitting in Patrick’s lap, his legs on either side of Patrick's thighs.

“Bad day” Patrick mutters against Pete’s skin, before moving back up to kiss him “There was this Brendon situation and then Joe got high and then…” He sighs, pressing his forehead against Pete’s “I still don’t know where we stand, and now we’re, like, _kissing,_ and it’s awesome but-“

“Dude. I _like_ like you, you _like_ like me. We should try it out, I can be romantic” Pete grinds down on Patrick, laughing when Patrick groans “You can’t do that when we’re trying to have a serious conversation, asshole. And alright… after the next musical rehearsal” He nods, running his plans through his head “Yeah, let’s do that”

“And you don’t wanna go today?” Pete asks, running his fingers through Patrick’s hair, as Patrick rolls his eyes “I have to take Joe out for cheeseburgers. He’s got the munchies, and he keeps eating the brownies in an attempt to, like, make it better, but it’s making him more hungry. Wanna come with us?” “Babe, who turns down McDonald’s?” Patrick blushes at the pet name, reaching up to kiss Pete once again. He could totally get used to this.

\---

( _Brendon and Ryan are lying side by side on Ryan’s bed- it’s 6 and ½ hours later, and they’re finally on the last song- Up & Up_)

\---

BRENDON: ( _talking to the cameraman_ ) Dude, Tyler, they should pay you like a trillion bucks for having to sit through 9 hours of Coldplay, holy ~~shit~~. And you filmed us just lying there for hours! How did you not shoot yourself from boredom?

\---

“I can’t believe we did it- 9 hours of Coldplay” Brendon says, nestling impossibly closer to Ryan “And this is such a good song to end it on, you know? It’s like… I don’t know I’m too tired to think, but it feels like a good conclusion to a good album”

“I mean technically you slept all day, and only listened to 3 albums, but sure” Ryan laughs, making a face when Brendon pinches his hipbone “ ~~Fuck~~ you, not all of us can sit through Coldplay for 9 straight hours!”

“True” Ryan says, before closing his eyes. He totally fucking loves this song, it’s so uplifting and makes him feel in love. This song makes him feel so in love, not the boy who still has his arm thrown over his chest and his face buried in his neck. Obviously.

“I love this song, Ryan. It makes me wanna kiss someone” Brendon whines, as Ryan nods “Yeah, me too…” They stare into each other's eyes for a few seconds, before Brendon just goes for it, and kisses Ryan.

And the fact that Ryan likes Brendon just as much as Brendon likes him has nothing to do with the fact that Ryan kisses him back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SO this might sound weird but if i dont update for like 2 weeks, it's because i have this thing where i??? feel so weird reading/writing fanfic after i see a band? like last june when i saw FOB i couldnt read fanfic for like. a month because i was like "UMA! THESE ARE REAL PEOPLE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" but i mean i HAVE gotten considerably more trashy since june, so who knows! BUT YEAH IM GONNA SEE FOB??!??! and since im posting this at 4 AM on a thursday (and i have school in 3 hours RIP!!) IM GONNA SEE FALL OUT BOY TOMORROW?!??!?!? WHAT EH FDJFNJNG DMGK
> 
> if you see someone at madison sq garden wearing a stump club shirt and attempting to fling themselves on the stage to suck pete wentz's dick (to thank him for adding disloyal order to the setlist) it's me! say hi if i dont die because of patrick's voice!
> 
> also i accidentally deleted this tab .02 seconds before i was gonna post the chapter so if the editing is shitty, its because im too tired to fix it after having to go through this all again. sorry :(


	15. Date Night With Peter-ick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ lilly smallghostkid b*tch... try to tell me that peterick isnt pronounced as 'peter-ick' one more time....,.,

( _Ryan’s scrolling on his phone, going through tumblr and adding to posts that shit on Coldplay, while waiting for Brendon to show up_ )

“You said he was gonna be here 20 minutes ago” He hisses at Vicky-T, who bares her teeth at him- the two of them have their… _differences._

“I didn’t know he was going to be so long! He’s almost always here, unless he’s waiting on a line at Target for a new album. Did Lady Gaga release anything lately?” Vicky asks, as Ryan runs it through his mind- he doesn’t know jack shit about Lady Gaga, but he would have heard Brendon scream about a new album already. “No, he didn’t say anything”

Patrick walks into the department with two cups of coffee and rests them in the table in the middle of the room and glares at Ryan “Where the ~~fuck~~ is Brendon?”

“Geez, what crawled up your ass and died?” Ryan watches as Patrick dumps 3 packets of sugar in his coffee, and Patrick shakes his head “Nothing, I just expect him to be here, at his job, on time, instead of doing whatever the ~~fuck~~ he does in his spare time”

Something weird hits Ryan in the heart (yeah, he actually has one! Weird) and he glares right back at Patrick “Leave him alone, Brendon’s probably stuck in traffic or something. He wouldn’t just take _another_ pointless day off-“ He pauses in the middle of his sentence, realizing what he’s done, and he stops talking once he sees Patrick’s killer death glare.

“I can’t believe it” Vicky says, shaking her head with disbelief “He actually got you to date him”

\---

RYAN: We’re not dating! Can’t friends make out, one, two, maybe four times in a night and have it be totally platonic?

The cameramen glance at each other before shaking their heads at Ryan like they’ve got experience

\---

“Not dating” Ryan grumbles, as Patrick takes a sip of his coffee. “Something happened, though. You’re acting like you actually care about people, that’s new”

“First of all, I care about Chris Martin, so your argument is invalid” He doesn’t add a second point, just resorts to scrolling through his dashboard again. He only talks again when his phone rings (his ringtone is Coldplay, and the camera zooms in on Vicky just as she gives him a disgusted look)

“Brendon, you ~~fucking~~ -“ He doesn’t look at who is calling, because his eyes widen when he realizes it’s not Brendon “Oh ~~shit~~ , sorry!” Patrick raises his eyebrows as Ryan listens on.

Ryan sucks a breath in, speaking in a lower voice “Why did he list me as an emergency contact, we’re just friends… yeah I know that you don’t know why, but could you just elaborate… like… do you think he thinks that we’re dating or what? Because we aren’t. Not that I wouldn’t date him, I’m not saying that, but-”

“What happened?” Patrick mouths at him- if Brendon got himself killed, he would resurrect him just to brutally murder him again. Ryan holds up a finger to tell Patrick to wait, as he says into the phone “What a ~~fucking dumbass~~. Alright, I’ll be there”

“Brendon fell down the stairs and broke his foot” Ryan says once he hangs up, and Patrick stares into the camera with a blank expression.

\---

PATRICK: Brendon is like…well, I’m the youngest sibling, but my older siblings used to say that they loved me when I was little, but sometimes they just wanted to punch me across the face until all of my teeth fell out? That’s how I feel about Brendon Urie one hundred percent of the time. He’s extremely talented and he can play more instruments than me, and I can play _a lot_ of instruments, but sometimes I wish that I could knock him out with said instruments and cut him up into little pieces and throw him in the ocean. Anyways…

\---

10 minutes later, after checking in with the main office, Ryan steps into his car- it’s actually relatively clean, since Ryan is a neat freak, but his CD case filled with classics (that you probably haven’t heard of) like The Smiths, The Beatles, and without a doubt, Coldplay. He also has one Justin Bieber CD in there, from when Brendon gave him an extra copy, but he has yet to listen to it. He’s about to pull out of the parking lot when Vicky runs out to him and bangs on the window

“Wait!” She yells, as Ryan rolls the windows down “What do you want?!”

She takes a deep breath, before exhaling fast “I was listed as Brendon’s third emergency contact. I need a ride to the hospital”

Ryan rolls his eyes, and unlocks the doors “Whatever. But we’re listening to Coldplay” “Wow, really? I _really_ didn’t expect _that_!”

\---

VICTORIA: I got the call 5 minutes after Ryan got his. I gotta say, I’m a little confused as to why Brendon would list me as one of his emergency contacts since I make fun of him relentlessly, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little flattered.

\---

_(The cameras pan Brendon’s hospital room- his leg is in a cast and is elevated above him, and he’s shoveling red jello into his mouth. He’s also watching ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’)_

“Brendon, what the hell did you do?!” Ryan exclaims the second he swings open the doors to Brendon’s room, and Brendon looks up and blinks. “Where’s Britney?” He asks, craning his neck to look over Ryan and Vicky’s shoulder. “Britney?” “Yeah, Britney! Britney Jean Spears… my second emergency contact? Where is she?” He looks at them with expectant eyes, like he truly believed that Britney Jean Spears would take time out of her busy life to come visit Brendon. 

Vicky rolls her eyes, walking into the room “Shut up, Brendon. How’d you fall?” She sits herself on a chair next to the hospital bed as Brendon leans back into his bed “This _sucks!”_

“I brought some Cheese Whiz, if that helps!” Ryan hands Brendon an entire can of cheese whiz, and Vicky gapes at Ryan before turning to the camera.

\---

VICTORIA: What the ~~fuck~~?! Who carries Cheese Whiz with them?!

\---

Ryan situates himself on the foot of the bed, and looks over to Brendon, as he tells the story of how he fell- knowing Brendon, it’s going to be dramatic. “The story of how I fell…” Brendon begins to say, cradling the can of cheese whiz, “is tragic. I tripped down the stairs and… yeah, I just tripped down the stairs”

“That’s it?” Ryan asks, as Brendon nods, biting his lip “Yeah… that’s it”

\---

( _FOOTAGE FROM THE CAMERAS IN THE HALLWAY OF BRENDON’S APARTMENT: Brendon steps out of his apartment blaring “Drag Me Down” by One Direction from his headphones, loud enough for the cameras to pick up on. He does a bunch of elaborate dance moves while lip synching, and the moment the boys sings “Nobody can drag me **down** ”, Brendon trips on a step, and falls down the flight of stairs_)

\---

“Whatever, at least you’re fine, right?” Vicky asks, as Brendon shakes his head “You don’t understand, Vicky, Patrick is going to kill me!” He sighs miserably “And I can’t die yet! I still have so much life to live! ~~Dicks~~ to suck!”

“Wow” Ryan shakes his head, as Brendon taps him with his good foot “Your ~~dick is the only dick I wanna suck though~~ , don’t be sad” “Flattering”

\---

BRENDON: I guess One Direction really did drag me down. ( _frowns, and takes a bite of his red jello_ ) ~~I wish this were Ryan’s dick~~ …

\---

( _Patrick’s teaching a lesson in the Music Theory classroom, he hears a knock on the door_ )

“Hey Patrick?” The door opens a crack, and Gabe fits his head through it. Patrick looks up from writing on the white board to glance at Gabe, and motions for him to come in. The students stop talking momentarily when he walks in, but then they resume their talking just because no one really cares about Teacher Drama.

Meanwhile, William looks up from his notebook with widen eyes, and he looks over to Ashley, who looks right back at him, shocked. 

“What the ~~fuck~~ is he doing here?” Mike turns around in his seat to mouth at William, and William shrugs. Gabe doesn’t look over to them, thankfully, and he just goes to sit in Patrick’s seat “So, I heard about Brendon”

“You heard that he’s an idiot that I want to brutally stab?” Patrick says, before he can censor himself, and Ashley gasps “What?! Mr. Stump, please!” She does it intentionally, so that Gabe could look over to them, and pay attention to them, and it works. Gabe looks at Ashley, before his eyes land on William. They make eye contact for a couple of seconds, just staring at each other, until William tears his eyes away

“Sorry, he’s just…” Patrick trails off, shaking his head, before directing his attention to Gabe “Yeah, he’s gonna be out for a while. What do you need?”

“Well, I was wondering if you needed my help. I used to be in a band, I know music well enough to conduct in Brendon’s place while he’s gone?”

\---

GABE: _No_ , I am definitely volunteering because I want to help my friend Patrick out, and not because I want to patch things up with Bill! Please… who do you think I am…

WILLIAM: Okay, but Gabe looks so ~~fucking~~ good, I’m actually contemplating throwing myself in front of a bus?! Sorry, I just had to get that out there ( _shrugs_ )

\---

Patrick contemplates this for a minute or so, before nodding “Actually, that would be a lot of help. Pete and Joe are gonna be there, but Joe is gonna  be…” He lowers his voice “S-T-O-N-E-D and-“ “Mr. Stump, we know how to spell?!” “-and Pete and I can’t do it alone. I owe you my entire life, man”

Gabe pats Patrick on the back, before standing up “No problem, mi amigo. And hey, Pete told me about your date” Patrick blushes almost immediately, and Gabe laughs “Have fun, use condoms, the whole 9 yards. Later!” Gabe waves at him, and turns to look at William one last time, before walking out

\---

PATRICK: Sex with Pete… ( _sighs dreamily, and just stares into the distance for a good minute or so, before remembering he’s sitting in front of the cameras)_ Wait what?

\---

( _Back at the hospital, Vicky is feeding Brendon a spoonful of applesauce, while Ryan sits in a chair, sleeping_ )

“Stop! I hate this!” Brendon cries, as Vicky glares at Brendon “You can’t live off of jello! Eat it!” “No!” “Yes!”

Brendon opens his mouth reluctantly as Vicky shoves the spoon in his mouth “Your mom called me and asked me to feed you apple sauce, and since Ryan sure as ~~fuck~~ won’t do it, I will”

“My mom called you?! There’s, like, a reason I didn’t list her as a contact” Brendon says, once he swallows the applesauce, and Vicky shrugs “Yeah, she called me after the hospital called her. She said that she would have flown in, but she’s planning your sister’s wedding” Brendon scoffs, opening his mouth as Vicky brings another spoonful to his mouth “Figures. Neither of them invited me, you know?”

Vicky frowns- Brendon doesn’t really talk about his mother. If she’s being honest, she sort of forgot Brendon even had a family. “It’s alright, Brendon. I’ll be your mom in the interim” She smiles at him as Brendon raises his eyebrow “Really?” “Really!”

\---

VICTORIA: Like once a month I get this… this weird maternal feeling. Like I generally hate kids, and I want them all to die, but like for a couple of days a month I get really sappy. It wouldn’t be so bad being a mom, you know? Joe would be a great father, there’s more to him than just weed… I mean giving up weed would be horrible… but we would be good parents! Sometimes it gets a little boring with just cats and… ( _frowns_ ) and I would be a good mom, I wouldn’t abandon my kid the way that Brendon’s mom abandons him. Like come on, you can’t just call and pretend that you’re concerned yet about him when it’s clear that you don’t! And- ( _she gets interrupted by Brendon sobbing_ )

\---

“Wait, I can’t have sex for 3 months?!” Brendon screams at the doctor who came to check up on him. Ryan wakes up at the commotion, rubs at his eyes as Brendon hysterically sobs “What the ~~fuck~~?!”

“You could break your bone again if you do, and-“ “Who cares?! Who cares! You’re telling me that I spent months trying to get with him-“ Brendon points at Ryan wildly “-and we’re finally getting there and now I can’t ~~fuck~~ him?!”

“Brendon…” Ryan winces, as Brendon sobs into his hands. “I just wanna ~~fuck~~ you, Ryan” “I know, Bren, I know…” Ryan rubs Brendon’s back as he cries, and the doctor just stares at them with wide eyes. Vicky pats his back, understanding his pain “Me too, Doc, me too”

\---

UNNAMED DOCTOR: I’m not entirely sure what just happened, but I hope I never have to witness it again

VICTORIA: Maybe… Maybe I can wait another couple of years because I make the decision to have kids…

\---

( _TIME SKIP- Rehearsal just ended, and Patrick and Pete have already left the building to go on their date, but a couple of students are putting things away and cleaning up, Gabe included. William goes to put the broom away in a small storage closet just as Gabe goes to put away a mop. They don’t look at each other as they both walk in_ )

“You sounded really good today” Gabe says, as William hums a ‘thank you’. “You’re a good conductor, you know?” The door closes behind them, and William reaches to open it so that he can leave- but it doesn’t budge.

“What the ~~fuck~~ …” He says under his breath, shaking the door handle. Gabe walks back over and raises his eyebrow “What happened?”

“I don’t know! I think it’s stuck?!” William says, shaking it a little harder. He even tries to kick the door open, and Gabe laughs at him a little “Here, let me try” But his smile is quickly wiped off of his face when he realizes that he can’t get the door open either

“It’s not just me being weak” William says, with his eyes narrowed once Gabe looks back over to him. “I didn’t say that!” “You were thinking it!” “Was not!”

William lets out a groan in exasperation, and takes out his phone “Screw this, I’m just gonna call Ash and get her to open the door”

Gabe shrugs, and sits against the wall, watching as William paces in the small, confined space. “Hey, Ashley?” Gabe can hear Ashley’s shrill scream, and William winces, before continuing “Hi, um, uh, I have a problem...” He blushes at something Ashley says, before whispering “No, not that kind of problem! Gabe and I-“ Gabe grins at the use of his name, and he hears Ashley scream “YOU AND GABE?! ~~FUCKIN~~ ’ GET IT BILL!”

“Can you calm down?! Listen, I need you to come back to the school and unlock the storage closet, we’re stuck here, and just… can you come?” “Are you kidding me?! This is straight out of a fanfic, Bill, I can’t just let this opportunity for you and your past lover to reunite just pass, it’s against… it’s against the law, probably! Give me half an hour”

“No, Ash-“ William tries to argue with her, but she hangs up, and he grits his teeth “I hate my life”

“Aw, Bill, it’s not so bad. We can sit here in silence if you really want?” Gabe offers, as William narrows his eyes “You’re such an asshole”

\---

WILLIAM: Why would Ashley do this to me, I know that I wanted to get him back but… but I didn’t want it to happen like this?!

\---

“How am I acting like an asshole, I’m trying to make you more comfortable?” Gabe says, as William crosses his arms. He sits across from Gabe and pouts “First of all, if you wanted to make me more comfortable you wouldn’t flaunt your relationship with Mr. McCoy in my face, and second of all-“

“What?! What are you talking about?!” Gabe watches as William laughs in disbelief “You’re going to deny it? You’re such a piece of ~~shit~~!” “There is no relationship!  But if you want to talk about flaunting relationships, what about you and your 13 boyfriends?!”

“ _What_?!” “You’re such a hypocrite, Bill! Even if I were ~~fucking~~ with Travie, you have 13 other guys! 13!”

The two of them continue to bicker like this for another couple of minutes, both totally confused with what the other is saying, but too angry about it to correct each other. The perks of miscommunication, really.

“Wait! Can I just explain myself?!” Gabe screams, since the volume of their argument went from hushed whispers to flat out screaming. William nods at him, taking deep breaths since all of the yelling took his breath away, and Gabe shakes his head to clear his mind, before starting from the beginning.

“I only started hanging out with Travie because I needed someone to rant to that would understand the situation we’re in, y’know, teacher and student relationships don’t really go over well with, well, anyone. That’s it! That’s all we’ve been doing, just sitting and talking about how much I’m in love with you, and how much it sucks because we can’t date because I’m your ~~fucking~~ teacher! Okay?! And now that you have 13-“

“Stop talking, ~~fuck~~ , stop ~~fucking~~ talking. I don’t have 13 boyfriends… Ashley sent them all… all of those roses were from Ash, because we wanted to… we wanted to make you jealous since I thought you got over me” He says, sheepishly, as Gabe looks at him with a shocked expression. So Travie was right?

“Wait… so you’re still single?” Gabe asks, as William nods. “And you’re still single?” William asks, as Gabe nods too.

“Oh… that’s good, I guess” Gabe adds, as William smiles, although it filled with sadness “Yeah… I still miss you a lot. But I know that it’s wrong, I know that I shouldn’t try to make things up with you or try to make you jealous, but ~~_fuck_~~ , I really miss you Gabe”

“I miss you too, Bilvy” Gabe reaches to brush some of William’s hair behind his ears, and William pushes his hand away “Don’t do that. You can’t do that, you can’t tempt me like that”

“Like what?” Gabe asks, although there’s a tiny hint of a smile in his innocent look. “You know what you’re doing, you dick, there’s all this… this sexual tension now, and…” William shakes his head, unsure of the words to say “The cameras are filming this, you know” He looks into the camera in the corner of the room that filming everything. But Gabe just leans in closer to William and whispers “Let them see, I love you so much, Bill, ~~fuck~~ , nothing can stop that”

And just because, well, timing has never truly worked in either of their favors, just as they were about to kiss, Ashley swings the door open “Hey guys!”. Josh is behind her, pointing the camera at them, and William and Gabe turn their heads to glare at the cameras at the same time

\---

WILLIAM: (smiles widely at the camera while drawing a line across his throat)

GABE: Come on, bro, are you ~~fucking~~ serious, like are you ~~FUCKING~~ serious, I was-

\---

( _Patrick and Pete are sitting at some fancy restaurant- Pete is drinking some water since he was driving, but Patrick’s sipping some red wine, and they’re laughing about something dumb. Patrick’s still wearing some work clothes, but Pete’s all dressed up_ )

“I hate you for looking all… all fancy and hot. I look like ~~shit~~ ” Patrick sighs, as Pete rolls his eyes “Sure, Patrick, sure. You look stunning”

Patrick makes a face at him from behind his glass “You’re only saying that cause it’s the first date. Official date, anyways”

Because Pete and Patrick go out all of the time- they go out almost every week, just because they’re best friends. In fact, the only reason Pete is driving and not Patrick is because it’s Pete’s turn to drive this week.

“Everything about you is stunning Patrick” Pete says easily, before giving him a once-over from the waist up- there’s not even much to see, yet Patrick still blushes “I’m totally smitten over the way that you yell at Joe, and-“

Patrick flips him off, laughing “Okay, stop! Joe deserves it half of the time, and he’s always stoned, he’ll probably forget it anyways”

“It’s super hot either way” Pete admits, kicking Patrick under the table. “First date and you’re already revealing how… how _subby_ you are?” Patrick asks, giggling, as Pete rolls his eyes “As if we all didn’t know how hot I get you get when you get bossy”

“It’s not meant to be hot, I just… I just want things to be perfect, y’know! Like today was only good because I got the kids to buckle down despite the fact that Brendon wasn’t there” He scowls, shaking his head “Brendon”

Pete leans over the table to place his hand over Patrick’s “I’m saying this because you’re my best friend and I don’t want you to die of stress- don’t kill Brendon when he gets back. I’m sure that he didn’t mean to break his leg”

\---

PETE: It doesn’t even feel like a first date, you know? It feels like… It feels like we’ve been dating for all of these years and we didn’t even know it. I mean, I was boning Mikey all of that time during it but still… like, this is so comfortable to me? It’s so different, I ~~_fucking_~~ love it

\---

“I know, I know, but he just… ugh, Brendon, he's just Brendon, you know?” Patrick says, as Pete shakes his head “No, not really. Here, I have an idea. Why don’t we grab something sweet for Brendon to make him feel better, and then he can explain what happened to you without wanting to run away and hide from the wrath of Patrick Stump”

Patrick nods reluctantly, shrugging “Fine, only because you’re paying” He flashes a smile at Pete as he groans “Pa-atrick, you’re so mean to me. And my wallet”

\---

( _Vicky already left the hospital, so it’s just Ryan and Brendon in there. Ryan’s reading some 16 th century literature as Brendon flips through the latest issue of J-14. There’s a knock on the door_)

“Come in” Brendon mumbles, before looking up. Once he sees Patrick’s fedora, his eyes widen “Ah, don’t kill me, don’t kill me!”

Ryan looks up when Pete glances around the room and notices him. He grins devilishly, and turns to Brendon “ ~~Shit~~ , we didn’t know you had _company,_ should we come back later?”

Patrick elbows him in the stomach, before walking over to Brendon with a slice of chocolate cake in his hands “I’m not here to kill you, don’t worry. I just came to… to make sure that you were okay” Patrick smiles sheepishly at Brendon as Brendon takes the container of cake from his hands “Woah, thanks so much! That means a lot to me” He reaches over to hug Patrick, and Patrick hugs him back, scrunching his nose up at how tight the hug is “You’re the big brother I never had! Well actually, I have one, but I like you better!”

Pete leans against the doorframe as Patrick replies “Thanks, Brendon. I’ll just call you later, I didn’t know Ryan was still here, we’ll just let you guys hang out” Brendon shrugs and waves goodbye to them as Patrick turns to walk back to Pete.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”  Pete asks, once they are both out of the room. Patrick just narrows his eyes at Pete playfully, and shoves him with his shoulder “Whatever. You wanna come over and write? I have a melody in my head I can’t get out” “Dude, _duh_ ” He stops Patrick, and rests his hand on his shoulder "And hey. I'm proud of you for not screaming at him, even though it's totally hot when you yell" For the millionth time in the night, Patrick blushes, but he pulls Pete down by his collar and kisses him anyways, just because he's allowed to. "The only reason I didn't yell is because I had, like, 2 glasses of wine" He mutters, as Pete laughs "Sure, Trick. Sure"

From inside of the room, Ryan starts gathering his things, now that he's aware of his surroundings “I should go, it's getting late”. He grits his teeth when Brendon whines “Stay with me, Ryan, please stay with me. I’m so lonely and I’m scared of hospitals and I hate this”

“They’re gonna kick me out, Bren” He starts to say, as Brendon leans up in his bed and reaches out for him “I don’t care, stay with me until they do, please” And when Ryan rolls his eyes and walks out of the room, Brendon has to blink away tears. Because Ryan is such an asshole, such a piece of shit, and-

The door opens, and Ryan walks in with another pillow and a blanket. “You came back?” Brendon asks, as Ryan nods, slowly climbing into the bed. “Yeah. But you can’t complain if I’m squishing you, there is like _no_ room on this ~~fucking~~ bed” Ryan places another pillow next to Brendon’s head, and he leans down so that they’re lying next to each other. He wraps the blanket around them, and reaches over to flip the light switch off, and Brendon makes a small, pained noise

“Ow. This wasn’t a good idea” “Brendon, I swear to _Chris Martin,_ if you don’t-“ The room is dark and the cameras can't pick up on their faces, but it sounds like Ryan was interrupted by Brendon kissing him "I'm not complaining. Thanks for staying with me" Ryan sighs, but whispers back, barely audible to the cameras "For you, I'd do anything... except give up Coldplay" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~HEY THIS IS GONNA BE REALLY LONG BECAUSE IM GONNA RAMBLE ABOUT THE FOB CONCERT SO IF YOU DONT CARE YOU DONT HAVE TO READ IT~ 
> 
> :)::):)P:):):) FALL OUT BOY OH MY GOD sometimes its really hard for me to put into words how much i love fall out byo i love flla out boy i lve fall out boy SO MUCH and seeing them again just really solidified that love. THEY WERE SO GOOD I AM SO PROUD OF THEM. i loved the spilled soda under my feet and i loved the girls next to me that didnt know any of FOB's stuff past save rock and roll, and i loved the guy in front of me with the lighter and i loved everything about it that was imperfect becuase idk it just made it so REAL and it was SO GOOD. PVRIS was so good and i almsot cried and she sounded so GOOD and her voice is so pure and when she was speaking it was CUTE her voice is so cute and OK awolnation was a little much because those lights were blinding me but you know what my ass enjoyed it enough anyways. And FOB oh my god everyone went wild for them. pete gave these really inspriatopnal speeches and he did this speech about a basketball, and like idk i guess compared his goals in life to making a basket, and he said something like 'oh people say im short so im not gonna make that basket but u know what? im at madison sq garden right now so im dunking the fuckin basket" and THE AUDIENCE LITERALLY EXPLODED IN APPLAUSE OH MY GOD I LOVE PETE SO MUCH!! I LOVE FALL OUT BOY SO MUCH! not to mention when patrick sang my name (if you didnt kno this from my notes, my name is uma :}) i literally screamed so loud like you would think from hearing "uma thurman" on the radio all th time i would get used to it but NOPE and please! disloyal order more like im dying inside because patrck stump ruined me! 
> 
> anways. hope u enjoyed this bad update. realistically, i only see this going on for maybe 6 or 7 more chapters because i can feel myself slowly giving up on this (ive been updating this since like november/december and idk im getting so tired of it LOL) and i just started like 3 hour long SAT classes and i have 3 APs and its like damn i rlly love suckin my own dick and dying! but I WILL FINISH IT just. idk. it's gonna take some time :( 
> 
> also- this is so sex-orientated im actually cringing


	16. St. Patrick's Day (Or Alternatively: The One Where They're All On Drugs)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not even remotely irish and i mostly know st patrick's day because everyone wears green at school but i mean. if its a big holiday... happy st. patrick's day!!

( _It’s St. Patrick’s day- despite the fact that the famous St. Patrick’s parade takes place in Chicago, the school board has decided that school should carry on. No one is happy about this_ )

GABE: ( _wearing a ‘Kiss Me, I’m Irish’ shirt despite the fact that he is 100% not Irish_ ) Why did I move to Chicago, you ask? For this one specific holiday! And what do I find out? That we have school today?! I’m supposed to be out in the parades drunk as ~~shit~~ and having the time of my life ( _pouts_ )

VICTORIA: This is a sin! This is a _sin_

PATRICK: So, a couple years back when I first started teaching, this one student started a rumor that St. Patrick’s day was my birthday…. And it’s always stuck? And he said that the reason why my name was Patrick was too! So, I don’t really like this holiday, needless to say. And no, I’m actually not Irish. I mean, I’m white as ~~fuck~~ , just not _Irish_ white.

JOE: ~~Shit~~ , isn’t it Patrick’s birthday today?!

\---

( _Gabe walks into the music department with brown paper bags, while Patrick and Vicky bicker about something musical related. Joe is next to Vicky, practicing some advanced equations_ )

“Hey Gabe” Vicky greets him, eyeing the brown paper bags as he places them on the center table. He hums in response, turning back around to lock the door to the room.

“What’s in the bag?” Joe asks, before doing his best Brad Pitt impression “What’s in the bag!”

Gabe smirks to himself as he pulls out 3 bottles of mint vodka- it’s sparkling green, and it makes Joe’s breath hitch.

“I don’t give a ~~shit~~ about what the board says- it’s our holiday! We deserve to get drunk! It’s…it’s our _civic duty_ to get drunk!” Gabe exclaims, as Vicky grins “ ~~Shit~~ , Gabe, I love you”

Gabe pulls out some shot glasses from the other paper bag, and sets 4 of them on the center table. “Since you guys are the most fun” He glances over to Patrick, almost taking that statement back, but he doesn’t “out of all of these boring ~~fuckers~~ , I thought, hey, why don’t we just get drunk?”

“First of all” Patrick begins to say, as Vicky rolls her eyes “is it really your holiday, Gabe? Are you Irish? And second of all, what the ~~fuck~~ are you doing?! We can’t… we can’t just drink on the job and get away with it because it’s a stupid holiday!”

Contrary to what Gabe said, Patrick’s pretty much the most boring person there. Well, not boring boring, but boring like he won’t take risks like drinking on the job. But honestly, he’s the only one with any common sense. Too bad he’s outnumbered though, because the 3 of them stare at Patrick like he’s got an extra head, or something.

“Listen Patrick, just because it’s your birthday and you don’t like the distraction being taken away from that doesn’t mean that you can stop people from having fun!” Joe begins to say, as Patrick grits his teeth, shaking his head like he’s about to correct him. But Gabe just slaps Patrick on the back “Happy Birthday, little guy! Now, to celebrate your birthday…” He holds up a bottle and shakes it a little “let’s get wasted!”

“Are you people insane?! We have… we have work today!” Patrick yells, watching helpless as Gabe opens the bottle of the (admittedly) awesomely colored vodka, and pours it into the 4 shot glasses on the table. He turns to the cameras “ ~~Shit~~ , you guys want some?” The cameras shake a little, a silent ‘no’ and Gabe sighs “Looooosers. But I shouldn’t be insulting you because, uh, delicate situations” He says under his breath- none of them know about William, no one except Joe and the cameramen. Joe turns to look at Gabe with a grimace when he overhears this, the reminder of William’s friends ganging up on him.

“Come on Patrick, loosen up a little! You’re so stressed out” Vicky points out, glancing at all of the papers scattered around Patrick. And Vicky has a point, Patrick does have a lot of work to do and he _is_ really stressed out. But he likes to think of himself as a somewhat respectable teacher, and drinking while teaching is. Well. The opposite of that.

He watches as Joe, Vicky, and Gabe down the shots, and he looks back on his paper sadly. “Come on, Tricky, don’t you want some?” Vicky sing-songs to him, pushing the extra glass closer to Patrick. And Patrick’s never been good with peer pressure, and looks like it tastes really good- it looks like it’s practically sparkling, just beckoning to him.

“It’s your birthday, you-“ “It’s not my ~~fucking~~ birthday” Patrick sighs exasperatedly, before grabbing the glass (mostly to block out Joe) and he downs the shot. He pushes the glass closer to Gabe and glares at him through his glasses “Another one”

“Oh ~~shit~~!” Vicky yells, as Gabe pours him another one “That’s what I’m ~~fuckin~~ ’ talking about!” Patrick downs that one as well, savors how cold and delicious it tastes (or maybe he’s delusional because of how tired he is) and he leans back in his seat and closes his eyes “ ~~Fuck~~ , this is so _good_ ”

The 4 of them do another round of shots when they hear the first warning bell go off, and as they all get up to leave, to go to their classes, Patrick stumbles just a little “Aw, what a lightweight” Vicky snickers as Patrick flips her off “Not a lightweight”. He turns to Gabe “Leave a bottle here in the fridge” and Gabe ruffles his hair “Don’t go too crazy, my guy”

\---

PATRICK: That’s a lie… I’m such a lightweight ( _sighs sadly before his entire mood changes in an instant and he starts giggling to himself_ ) You know what would be awesome? Me ~~sucking Pete’s dick~~

PETE: Uh… well, he might kill me for saying this, but Patrick kinda gets… slutty drunk? Why’d you ask?

PATRICK: ( _keeps giggling to himself as he pours himself another glass_ ) Mmmmm, it’s so good. It feels reeeeaal awesome getting to finally relax, y’know? Thanks St. Patrick, for blessing me with this opportunity ( _holds his glass up and his speech slurs slightly_ ) For you, St. Patrick! ( _downs the shot_ ) I wonder if he was hot

\---

( _Brendon and Ryan walk into the building together- Brendon keeps tripping over his crutches, but not because he’s not used to it, but because he keeps staring at Ryan’s hair_ )

“Stop staring” Ryan pleads quietly, as Brendon shakes his head “Ryan… George Ryan… why did you think this was a good idea?”

Ryan is supporting a bowl cut- like, an actual bowl cut. Brendon’s almost 100 percent sure that Ryan placed a bowl on his head and cut around it, but Ryan says that he got it done “professionally”

“I wanted something different, alright, sue me for wanting to change up the way I look a little!” Ryan hisses at him, but the way that he keeps an arm around Brendon, waiting to catch him if he falls, is the opposite of angry. Brendon just bites his tongue to prevent himself from laughing “Good idea, I just might do that”

“I can’t wait for you to take more of your pain meds so that you shut the ~~fuck~~ up” Ryan says under his breath as Brendon turns his head to look at him “Admit it, you’re gonna miss my charismatic attitude and my normal looking haircut”

“I’m really not though, you’re so annoying” It’s not a good ‘insult’, but it’s the best Ryan can come up, so he says it anyways. Truth be told, Brendon pretty much grows on everyone he meets, but it’s even worse when Brendon likes said person, and therefore annoys them until they are destined to fall for him. Ryan doesn’t think he’s falling for Brendon, except he most definitely is.

Ryan drops him off in front of the Chorus classroom, and he gives Brendon a squeeze on his shoulder “If I hear about you falling, I’m gonna laugh. So… be careful” He says, as Brendon nods “Thanks, Ryan” He waits a second and then grin “So, goodbye kiss? Or am I feeling too lucky?”

“You’re feeling too lucky. I’m late” Ryan says, before he leans in and kisses Brendon’s cheek, flipping him off when Brendon says that that was a pathetic excuse for a kiss.

\---

BRENDON: ( _taking some medication out of his bag and a water bottle_ ) I’m gonna pull a Patrick right now ( _downs the medication and takes a sip of the water_ )

RYAN: ~~Fuck~~ off! ~~Fuck~~ off, I know what you’re gonna say, and I just want you to know that you should _~~fuck~~ off. _ He’s my friend, okay? Friends who… who kiss together, stay together.

VICKY: Right, ( _does airquotes_ ) Ryan and Brendon aren’t dating. I went over to help Brendon this weekend, and I found these ~~fuckers~~ sleeping in Brendon’s bed together. They’re sooo dating, I’ll even bet on it. ( _One of the cameramen askes: Vicky, aren’t you… drunk? Didn’t you have 5 shots?)_ Drunk? It’d probably take 2 of those bottles to get me drunk, I’ve sort of developed a resistance. Why, is Patrick hammered outta his ~~fucking~~ mind? What a guy

\---

( _William and his friends are sitting in their Music Theory classroom, talking amongst themselves. They’d be learning something new, but Patrick is just sitting at his desk with his headphones in, trying to contain his laughter at absolutely nothing_ )

“So what’s up guys?” Mike asks, as William sighs “Guys. I have some news. Gay news”

“Gay _Gabe_ news, or just gay news?” The Butcher already anticipates it when William replies with “Gay Gabe news”, and he just shakes his head to himself. God, William is such an _idiot_.

“Wait, is this what Ash was telling me about?” Sisky looks at the empty seat next to him- Ashley was absent from school today. “What happened!? Tell me, tell me, tell me” Mike begins nagging at William, as he looks over to Patrick. He’s sort of slumped over in his seat, typing in his phone like crazy, but most importantly, he’s not listening to anything that they’re saying.

“So, uh. I think Gabe and I made up?” “You think?” “Yeah, I think. I mean, we worked things out in the closet”

They all blink at him, before moving in closer “In the closet? Like… the gay closet or…”

“Yeah! Yeah I moved into back into the closet and then Gabe and I made up and I came back out of the closet” William tries to deadpan, but it mostly makes The Butcher pissed off “Dude, can you, like, elaborate?”

“So, and you’re not gonna believe this, but Gabe and I got stuck in the janitor’s closet, and then we started yelling at each other because Gabe was being… Gabe, and I confronted him about Mr. McCoy. And it turns out” he waits for a second, looking at the boys for their reactions “that he was just hanging out with Mr. McCoy because he was ranting about how much he’s in love with me” He giggles and the camera zooms in on Mike’s horrified face at William’s laugh. “What kind of noise did you just make?!” “I’m happy, okay?! And he thought that I had 13 boyfriends because of the roses that Ashley sent and then we sorted everything out and then we were gonna kiss and then someone” He turns around to glare at Josh “happened to find out right before we were gonna kiss”

“Kiss?” Mike asks, as William shrugs “Angry Gabe is hot Gabe, and since we made up, sort of, he was looking really good in that moment. And plus, that whole ‘being locked in a room with someone’ is like the key to sex. The key to suc- _sex_ ”

\---

THE BUTCHER: I… I feel like I’m going crazy. Like… does no one care that this is illegal?! Like… this is illegal! Guys. This is illegal. William is literally risking his scholarship and his future for this?! I’m gonna go talk to Gabe

GABE: ( _speaking entirely in Spanish- the English translation is on the bottom of the screen_ ) So I had like 10 shots? 12 shots? I’m not entirely sure, but I’m so wasted right now! I love you, St. Patrick!

PATRICK: ( _shows his phone to the camera_ ) Sooooooo I’ve been sexting Pete. _(most of it is blurred, but the audience can kind of get a gist of their conversation)_

 

_\- Peeeeete i want ur duck_

_dick_

_want ur DICK like mmmvmmcmc i want to suck u off_

**\- patrick, are you okay?**

_\- i  wanna tie you up! m make you cum lile 6 time!!s ina row_

_your so HOTTT_

_i bet u would loko so good spread out on my bed u nkow i would tie u up and I’d fuck yiu so hard i’d fuck yuo so much better than UGLY mikey way did and mmmmmkk_

**-patrick, baby, where are you? are you okay?**

- _NO im not okay I want to eat u out and FUCK u kkkfm i wanna suck ur DICK_

_Im so drunk :( still want ur dicm tough_

 

\---

( _Brendon is asleep at his desk and Ryan subs for his class just to make sure that Brendon doesn’t fall over and break his leg again. There isn’t much to film for them today, but sometimes Ryan will glance over to Brendon and smile just at the sight of him. It’s super gay_ )

RYAN: Shut up. I’m only smiling because I’m playing Coldplay on the speakers.

\---

 _(Patrick stumbles into the music department and walks into Vicky and Joe arguing_ )

“S-sup guys” Patrick reaches into the fridge and pulls out the bottle of vodka.

“Holy ~~shit~~ , Patrick, you’re hammered” Joe gapes at him- Patrick looks so _different,_ he’s actually smiling and he looks a lot more loosened up.

“Tell me something I don’t know? What were you guys arguing about?” He sits himself down at the table and takes a sip of the cool drink. Joe and Vicky glance at each other, shaking their heads “You’re gonna kill us”

“You can’t say that and not expect me to be curious” Patrick notes, slurring a little bit. Joe just shrugs and turns to Vicky “He’s drunk, he probably won’t remember. Plus, he’s the only person who knows, and he’ll settle our bet” He turns to Patrick and asks him with a straight face “Are you a top, or a bottom? Vicky and I have been arguing about this for literally weeks”

“On one hand, you’re super bossy. And in control of everything” Vicky begins to say, before Joe interjects “And on the other hand, you’re super ~~fuckin~~ ’ twinky sometimes. And you’re shorter than Pete, doesn’t that have to do with it?”

“Well, you switch” Patrick begins to say, before he leans in to Vicky and Joe and whispers “But I wanna ~~fuck Pete so hard right now that he can’t walk properly for years and I wanna tie him up and make him come 6 times in a row and then I want to eat him out until he starts sobbing~~ ” He leans back in his seat, and smiles at them “Anyways…”

\---

JOE: ( _staring into the camera with an open mouth_ )

VICKY: ( _hysterically laughing_ ) OH MY GOD? OH MY GOD

\---

“What?” Joe screams at him, just as Pete walks into the music department, concern written all over his face. He looks between the bottle of vodka in Patrick’s hands to his face  and sighs deeply “Patrick, are you-“

“Peeeeete” Patrick moans, resting the bottle on the table to reach out for Pete. “Peeete, did you get my texts? My _sexts_?” He laughs at himself as Vicky gives Pete a sympathetic look “Your boyfriend is such a lightweight. He’s been like this since first period”

“Yeah, yeah I got your” Pete gulps “sexts” Patrick beckons for him to come closer, and Pete does, his eyes widening as Patrick pulls him into his lap easily. Patrick’s pupils are blown and he’s smiling up at him with such an innocent look that it’s such a huge contrast.

“Pete” He slurs, before repeating his name “I love you. You’re so hot. I wanna tie-“ “I know, Patrick” Pete grins a little, ignoring the way that Joe is looking at them, probably still shocked from Patrick’s confession.

“Can we make out now?” Patrick asks, his fingers trailing up Pete’s thighs, and Pete looks at the cameras, before turning back to Patrick “Not in front of them. But ~~_fuck_~~ yeah”

\---

PETE: ( _shrugs_ )

JOE: I’m still… did innocent little Patrick say that? Did Patrick really say what I think he said? But he’s… he’s Patrick! Patrick doesn’t have sex! Patrick’s an innocent little cinnamon roll! 

\---

( _Gabe finishes ‘teaching’, and most of the class leaves, but The Butcher stays behind to talk to Gabe_ )

“Mr. Saporta?” The Butcher asks, once the door closes behind the last student. Gabe turns around (he’s got a pair of sunglasses on, to hide how fucked up he is at the moment) and blinks at him, unsure why he’s standing there. “Hey Andy” He still uses The Butcher’s actual name.

“I, um. I really need to talk to you” He watches as Gabe slowly walks over to his desk, sighing. “If you insist” He’s so drunk right now that he’s seeing double.

“It’s about William” The Butcher says, and Gabe almost sobers up instantly. He doesn’t _sober up_ sober up, but if it concerns William, it’s important.

“I wouldn’t ever tell on your relationship, or whatever the hell you guys are doing” The Butcher says, as Gabe nods at him. “And that’s not because I approve of it, because I don’t approve of it at all. But William is a brother to me, and I don’t want this to affect his scholarship”

He leans in closer to Gabe, to make his point crystal clear- Gabe looks drunk to him, and he’s been acting it, but The Butcher doesn’t mention that either. “But I want you to know that if someone tells, and William loses his scholarship, I’ll ~~fucking~~ murder you. You’re the adult here, you’re the responsible one. I’ve never been in love so I don’t know about emotions and ~~shit~~ , but if you make Bill lose that scholarship just because you two couldn’t keep it in your pants for another 4 months, I’ll murder you. He’s worked too hard for this not to work out, and he can’t live with his parents anymore. I think you know how they treat him” Gabe nods again. “That’s all I have to say” He gets up out of his seat and gives Gabe one last look “If William picked you, then you must be a good guy. But if he loses his chance because of you…” He trails off, shaking his head. He doesn’t finish his statement, leaving it to Gabe’s imagination. Gabe sighs once The Butcher leaves, and rests his head on his desk. He’s so screwed.

\---

( _TIME SKIP: It's a few hours later, and everyone (with the exception of Brendon and Ryan, since Brendon can't drink thanks to the medication and Ryan is with him) is sitting in Travie's car, chatting with each other and they drive over to the bar. But Patrick is fast asleep, his head resting on Pete's shoulder- he passed out once the car started moving._ _Vicky looks over to them and shakes her head, muttering "What a lightweight"_ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: im so stressed n have no time to write!  
> me: posts a new chapter literally 4 days later. literally 4 fuckneing days later
> 
> anyways this was just something that was meant to be A LOT shorter than it actually turned out to be just because i kept thinking about slutty drunk patrick trying to hide it at work. it's just a filler because i didnt know what else to write tbh
> 
> also this whole bottom!patrick or top!patrick debate is so dumb patrick is OBVIOUSLY a top guys. come on. let's be real. but i've written bottom!patrick literally mulitple times just because pete wentz is :/// daddy af. and i can read both and enjoy it mostly because im a trash can and i'll read any smut ever. but come on. COME ON top!patrick is the realest thing ever.
> 
> and finally 2 conclude this notes section, i really meant for this story to be a lot more realistic than it is? my mom is a teacher and she's actually miserable and hates her job and i dont wanna write all of these sad characters u know so... i just write abt them getting drunk as shit and sexting


	17. William's 18th Birthday

( _Mike, Sisky, The Butcher, and Ashley approach William’s locker with balloons that say ‘Happy 8 th birthday’ and ‘Happy Birthday Princess!’_)

“I ~~fucking~~ hate you assholes” William grits out through his clenched teeth as Ashley practically jumps on his back “Happy Birthday Bill!”

“That’s no way to greet your best friends who got you balloons” Mike says, trying to stifle his laughter as he attempts to hug William. “Yeah! We love you, Bill” Ashley wraps her legs around William’s torso and her arms around his neck, laughing as Sisky places a tiara on his head.

\---

WILLIAM: ( _has a glittery tiara placed on top of his head_ ) Yeah, it’s my 18th birthday. ( _sighs_ ) I didn’t expect anything less, to be honest

ASHLEY: Today is my GBF’s birthday ( _on the bottom of the screen, the definition of GBF is displayed- ‘Gay Best Friend’_ ).  And not just any birthday, but his 18th! ( _wipes away a fake tear_ ) They grow up so fast

\---

William’s locker is, of course, located right near to Gabe’s classroom, so he steps out at the sound of the commotion. And he’s greeted to The Butcher and Ashley harmonizing on ‘Happy Birthday’, Sisky fixing the tiara, and William attempting to punch Mike across the face

“What the hell is going on…” He begins to yell before he catches sight of the balloons- like a movie, all of them freeze and look over to Gabe. Ashley falls off of William’s back as Gabe stammers out “It’s your birthday?”

Ashley gasps, yelling at Gabe before William can “You didn’t remember his birthday?!” William nods, glaring at Gabe “You didn’t remember my birthday?”

Gabe looks over to the camera for some sort of reassurance, but the cameramen shake their heads at him. Because how do you forget the birthday of the person that you’re having sex with? That’s like… super messed up.  “I… uh…”

“Dude, you’ve literally been inside William” Ashley has zero filter, and William winces at the same time that Gabe does “and you don’t even remember his birthday?!”

The Butcher glares at Gabe, shaking his head at him. At this point, all 5 of them are glaring at Gabe, and Gabe isn’t good at confrontation, so he does the best thing he can think of “G-gotta blast!” and he runs in the other direction.

\---

GABE: ( _going through the drawers in his desk for a present, talking to himself_ ) Idiot! How the ~~fuck~~ did you ~~fucking~~ forget his 18 th birthday?!

\---

( _Brendon is sitting in the Music Department, his leg resting on the table. Patrick pauses every couple of seconds from writing up reports to glare at his leg, but Brendon doesn’t notice it. Ryan is, of course, sitting next to Brendon, reading a book_ )

“You know my sister, right?” Brendon asks Ryan, as Ryan looks up from his book. “I guess. The one you called a C-U-Next-Thursday?” Patrick looks up from his book to give the camera a look, and he mouths “C-U-Next-Thursday?”

“Yeah, her! She called me the other day” Ryan raises an eyebrow “She called you? For what?”

“Can you guys, like, move this somewhere else?” Patrick asks, as Brendon turns his head to glare at Patrick “Bitch, you and Pete were practically ~~fucking~~ on this table for an hour while the rest of us had to suffer and grade our papers somewhere else” Patrick immediately blushes, turning back to his work “Sorry, continue”

Brendon smiles and pats Patrick’s back “It’s okay, it was kinda hot” He turns back to Ryan and continues their conversation.

“She, uh. Invited me to her wedding. Something about how she wanted to prove she wasn’t a homophobe? Anyways, she wanted to know if I was bringing anyone…” Brendon looks sort of nervous, a look that isn’t on him, like ever.  

“Well, are you?” Ryan asks, as Patrick rolls his eyes “Brendon’s asking if you will go with him”

Ryan looks back over to Brendon, who’s looking at him expectantly “Yeah, what Patrick said… so, do you wanna be my plus one?”

\---

BRENDON: Listen, he should be thankful I’m asking him, considering his horrendous haircut. I’m never letting that go, _ever_

RYAN: This is so… confusing. On one hand, Brendon will probably bother me until I say yes… but on the other hand, I kind of want to go with him? But on another hand, let’s just pretend that’s possible, that’s like basically a confirmation that we’re dating. And we’re not dating!

BRENDON: At first I didn’t want to go, but like. If my sister wants to prove that she’s not a homophobe, then shouldn’t I take that opportunity to just make out with Ryan during the service? Plus, I kind of want to meet my nieces and nephews, and let them know that being gay is like. So much better than being straight. Like, a million times better than being straight. I mean, yeah, you get ostracized by your entire family and society in general, and actually it’s sometimes the worst thing to ever happen to me, but… ( _smiles_ ) being gay is a million times better than being straight.

\---

“Um… I guess?” Ryan blurts out, as Brendon grabs his hands “Wait, are you serious?!” “I-I guess! I mean, how bad can it be?”

“I mean, pretty bad. BUT YES!” Brendon grabs Ryan by the collar and kisses him hard. Patrick watches with a grimace on his face as they sloppily make out, and the camera zooms in on his face.

\---

PATRICK: I mean… its sweet… I guess…

\---

( _It’s later in the day- the entire musical cast is in the auditorium, as well as Gabe, Patrick, Vicky, Pete, and Joe_ )

“I know you guys are probably happy to be out of class, but we need to get these done as soon as possible!” Patrick says, trying to get the entire cast onto the stage. Sadly, Patrick is Patrick, and no one really takes Patrick seriously unless he’s screaming his lungs out.

The camera zooms in one of the students sleeping in the auditorium chairs, and then moves over to Jon, who is fixing his camera equipment

\---

JON: Hey! ( _waves his camera)_ Today we’re trying to take pictures for the yearbook… ( _looks over to Patrick yelling at the student sleeping_ ) It’s not going so well

\---

“ARE YOU SERIOUS? GET ON STAGE!” Patrick screams at the poor student as they scramble to get on stage, and Pete rushes over to calm him “Patrick! Deep breaths!”

“I hate this ~~fucking~~ job, I’m gonna kill one of them!” “I know, deep breaths, deep breaths” Pete rubs Patrick’s shoulders, as Patrick follows Pete’s directions and takes deep breaths, in and out.

Meanwhile, Gabe tries get William’s attention on the stage “Bill! I need to talk to you!”

William ignores him for the most part, but since they’re surrounded by other students and teachers, it’s sort of hard. Because it looks suspicious that William, the valedictorian, is ignoring a teacher. Gabe continues this for a while, until William finally looks over to him.

“What do you want, Mr. Saporta?” He practically hisses at him, and Gabe holds his hands up in surrender “I just need to talk to you… about Spanish class!”

William glances over to Patrick, who is still being calmed down by Pete on the floor. He reluctantly walks over to Gabe, and the camera zooms in on Joe’s horrified face from the floor.

The camera is pretty much moving from one place to the other in seconds, from Patrick on the floor, to the students, to Joe munching on his weed brownies, to Gabe and William, but the cameramen make it work… kinda.

“What the ~~fuck~~ do you want?” William whispers once they're far enough from the other students, and Gabe narrows his eyes “Language?”

“Sorry. What the ~~fuck~~ do you ~~fucking~~ want?” William crosses his arms, and the cameramen glance at each other- they’re going to have to do so much editing.

“I’m sorry that I forgot your birthday, okay?! I knew it was around this month but-“ “But what? You forgot my birthday, you piece of ~~shit~~!”

“I know! I wanna make it up to you” Gabe says, before lowering his voice and smirking at William ever so slightly “How about I blow you?”

William just flips him off, before going back to his spot on stage.

\---

GABE: Come on! That’s supposed to work!

\---

Back on the floor, Jon hesitantly approaches Pete and Patrick. Patrick’s still taking his deep breaths as Pete tries to remind him of things he likes “Uh… David Bowie!” “He’s dead, Pete. The only artist that matters to me is _dead"_

“Um… are you guys okay?” Jon asks. Patrick turns around to look at Jon while Pete glares at Jon behind Patrick’s back.

“We’re fine” Pete says, but Patrick shakes his head “I’m gonna kill someone in this room”

“I have pictures of my cat, if you wanna see those? I know that pictures of cats always calm you down” Jon offers, as Patrick nods quickly “Cats!”

\---

JON: No, I’m not trying to get with Patrick. I’ve actually been dating Spencer from Math for a while now ( _sighs happily_ ) He’s the greatest man to ever exist, and he likes cats! It’s, like, the best thing ever!

PETE: ( _frowns_ ) I didn’t know that cats calm Patrick down. Maybe I should get a cat? I mean, I’m a dog person but… maybe I should get a cat…

\---

Jon pulls Patrick aside to show him pictures of his cats, and Pete walks over to Joe and Vicky “Hey guys”

Joe was too busy eating his brownies and staring at Gabe and William to answer, but Vicky waves to him “Hey Pete”

“Should I get a cat?” Vicky grins at Pete like her mothership just landed “Oh, Peter. Of course you should get a cat” and they continue talking about cats for a _while_.

It’s complete chaos in the auditorium, and none of the teachers even notice that the entire period passed by. The second that the bell rings, students run out of the auditorium to get to their other classes, and the rest of the teachers just stare at Patrick as Patrick downs more Advil and calmly walks out of the auditorium. The cameras film him as he walks out of building, and then screams “WHAT THE ~~FUCK~~!” to a bunch of trees

\---

( _Jon and Patrick are sitting in the Art Department, looking at pictures of Jon’s cat, while Travie brews them some coffee_ )

“Thanks, Jon. This really helped calm me down” Patrick says, smiling a little as he scrolls through pictures on Jon’s phone. He makes a face when he lands on a picture of Spencer in panties, but then he smiles again when he sees another picture of the cat.

“No problem, man. Travie said you were, uh…” Jon trails off, looking over to Travie, who shakes his head quickly.

( _FOOTAGE: Patrick keeps screaming expletives at the trees, and he doesn’t notice when the door opens. It’s Travie, on his cigarette break, and he immediately approaches Patrick “Patrick? Dude, are you okay?” Patrick turns around, his voice is hoarse as he mutters “ ~~Fuck~~ the trees”_ )

Patrick gives Jon’s phone back to him, and he sighs “Sorry, I just get really, really stressed during musical time. I promise that I’ll get everyone set this afternoon”

“It’s cool, man. I’m just sorry that everyone gives you such a tough time” Travie hands Patrick his cup of coffee, and Patrick immediately takes a sip “Thanks, Trav. And yeah, it’s fine, I’m used to it” They sit in silence for a while, before Patrick clears his throat “And um, just for the record, you and Spencer are really cute. I’m glad you guys are together”

They continue talking about Spencer for the rest of the period, before Patrick had to go back to teaching. But it was really nice, in a way. It wasn’t super awkward, and Spencer was such a perfect fit for Jon, Patrick didn’t even mind having to look at pictures of the two of them for 30 minutes straight.

\---

TRAVIE: ( _shaking his head)_ One day, Patrick is gonna get a heart attack. Knock on wood. 

SPENCER: Wait, he showed Patrick a picture of  _what?!_

\---

( _Brendon and Ryan are sitting in Brendon’s car. Ryan is in the driver’s seat, since Brendon can’t drive, and Brendon has his phone on speaker_ )

“Brendon?” Brendon’s sister asks, from the other line. Brendon involuntarily shivers at the sound of her voice, because it’s been a really long time since they’ve talked, but Ryan places his hand on top of Brendon’s, trying to comfort him in way.

“Hey Katie” Brendon says, before clearing his throat “I’m… um…” He closes his eyes, shaking his head. It’s the first time (besides the time in the hospital) that Ryan has really seen Brendon look so nervous and upset, so Ryan takes the phone from Brendon’s hands

“Hi, this is Ryan” Ryan says, giving Brendon a reassuring look as Brendon opens his eyes and gives Ryan a cautionary look

“Ryan?” Katie asks, as Ryan takes a deep breath “Yeah, Ryan. I’m Brendon’s… I’m Brendon’s boyfriend. And his plus one. So expect the both of us at the wedding”

“Brendon’s… boyfriend” “Yeah, Brendon’s boyfriend” “Um… alrighty then. I’ll send you an invitation later, Brendon” Brendon takes the phone from Ryan’s hands and says “Alright! Expect us to ~~fuck~~ during your wedding rehearsal! Toodles!” before hanging up.

“Brendon…” Ryan begins to say, although he’s trying really hard to hide a smile. And Ryan hardly even smiles! “You’re my boyfriend?” Brendon asks, as Ryan nods slowly “Yeah… yeah, I’m your boyfriend” “For real?” “For real” Brendon laughs, cupping Ryan’s face before bringing him in for a kiss “Holy ~~shit~~ , you’re my boyfriend”

Ryan kisses him slowly, wrapping his arms around Brendon’s neck “I’m your boyfriend”

\---

RYAN: ( _shrugs_ ) It was bound to happen sooner or later... anyways, I feel like I haven't talked about Coldplay all day? So, Chris Martin! The other day, Chris posted this picture on Instagram, and-

BRENDON: He's my boyfriend... Ryan is my boyfriend! Like... Ryan Ross... George Ryan Ross... is my boyfriend? A man... that I'm dating? My boyfriend? 

\---

( _William and his friends are watching ‘Magic Mike XXL’ on his bed. His family isn’t home, so he decided to invite Ashley over as well. They’re also eating William’s birthday cake with their own forks. Because who needs plates?)_

“ ~~FUCK~~! CHANNING TATUM ~~FUCK ME~~!” William screams at the screen, his mouth full of cake. They’re watching the scene where Channing Tatum dances to “Pony”- Ashley isn’t saying anything because she’s too busy just staring at Channing on the screen “Holy ~~shit~~ …”

Sisky looks a little jealous, but in all honestly, all of them are staring at Channing Tatum in awe. This continues for a while, until that scene ends, and then William turns to his friends “Thanks for being here, guys. Seriously, it means a lot”

He’s referring to the fact that his parents aren’t with him on his 18th birthday. They’re probably out to dinner, or something, but the fact remains that they left him all alone on his birthday. Ashley pats his back, and kisses his cheek “We love you, Bill. I love you more than I love Channing Tatum, ~~fuck~~ your parents. You don’t need them!”

“Yeah, Bill! You’re the best!” His friends agree, but it makes William so… so _emo._ Enough for him to tear up “I’m serious! You guys just mean so much to me! Not even ~~fucking~~ Gabe remembered my birthday and…” but just as William says Gabe’s name, the doorbell rings.

“Imagine that’s Gabe?” Ashley asks, and William shakes his head “Please. Gabe is an idiot, he’s probably busy doing something else that isn’t worrying about stupid old me” He runs down the stairs, and opens the door. And it’s, of course, Gabe. He holds up a present, and he smiles sadly at William “Please forgive me, my Bilvy”

William frowns, crossing his arms “Why should I? You forgot my _birthday”_ “I know, I know, and I’m a ~~fucking~~ idiot. But I love you, I love you _so much_ and it’ll never happen again”

And Gabe looks truly sorry, and he’s giving William his signature puppy eyes. “Please?” 

William glances at present “What’s the present?” Gabe grins “Um…well, do you wanna try it out?” “It’s sex related?” “Uh… kinda. And I got you some vinyls that I know that you don’t have. I’m not that much of an asshole”

William bites his lip, before taking the present. “Come over after my friends leave, alright? I’ll call you” Gabe smiles, and kisses William “Awesome! I love you” “I love you too”

Ashley comes down the stairs just as they kiss, and she clears her throat “Um, Bill? Channing took off his shirt…” She waves to Gabe “Hi Mr. Saporta. Do you wanna watch Magic Mike with us?” Gabe looks over to William, and William shrugs “I mean, if you guys don’t mind Gabe being over”

“Dude, we don’t care. I mean The Butcher might kill us, but come on. We’re missing the good parts!”

And it’s a little weird, William grabs a fork for Gabe, and William sits in Gabe’s lap as they watch the movie, and The Butcher glares at Gabe every couple of seconds, but it’s one of the better birthdays William has ever had, so it all works out in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the first time in forever, i dont have much to say in the end notes? lets see...
> 
> well i watched magic mike xxl the other day, and no offense but why would you thirst over channing tatum when DONALD GLOVER is in that movie? i'd die 4 donald, but that's because i'd also die for all of his childish gambino albums :/ that time that he referenced pete wentz on "kids" AJKFKDGMSGKDGMKG 
> 
> thats all! anyways hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter? and THANKS FOR 200+ KUDOS? WTF THIS DOESNT EVEN DESERVE LIKE 10 SO THANK YOU SO MUUUUCH


	18. The Talent Show

( _Some students pack away some of the musical set from the stage in the auditorium, and start setting up props for the talent show. The camera pans the auditorium before landing on a very unpleasant looking Patrick_ )

PATRICK: You know what I love? More than anything in this entire world? I love the fact that the talent show happens smack in the middle of musical rehearsals. I love when everyone wrecks the stage, and I love when paint gets on my set, and wait, you know what I really love? When rehearsal time gets cut in half! It’s not like we need it or anything, it’s not like Joe ~~fucking~~ Trohman is high all the goddamn time and Brendon is still wobbling around on a broken foot, you know?

PETE: _(holds up two bottles of Advil Gel Pills_ ) It’s kind of unhealthy, but during this time of year, the only thing that really gets Patrick through the day is some Advil and back massages. Thinking back on it, last year he’d always ask me give him massages… what a guy. He had a crush on me, that’s _so_ cute.

\---

( _Pete, Ryan, and the Emo Time™ Club discuss ideas for poems to deliver at the Talent Show_ )

“Mr. Wentz” Ashley begins to say, holding a hand to her heart. “I feel in my heart… truly… that you should let me recite my poem at the Talent Show… like you don’t have to… but I feel in my heart… truly… that it would be the right thing to do” Pete blinks at her, before clearing his throat- Ashley’s poems are mostly about sex and drugs (which he totally approves of, because the girl has to get her aggression out somehow) but he’s not sure if the principal (Principal Hoppus, who refused to be interviewed and have any part in this ‘gay extravaganza’) would approve. “As long as it’s not about sex, it’s cool with me” He watches as the color drains from her cheeks, and she furiously starts crossing out titles from her list of poems

“If I alluded to someone’s head being in between my-“ “Nope”

“What about you, Bill? Do you have a poem?” Pete peers over to William, their last hope, who shakes his head. “Sorry Mr. Wentz, Mike and I were asked to host this year”

\---

WILLIAM: They usually ask the valedictorian to host the Talent Show, and I asked Mike to join me, since Mike _is_ my best friend. It’s kind of weird, I’m pretty sure everyone in the school hates me but… whatever. And I get to announce the school’s favorite new teacher, and the only new teacher this year was Gabe so ( _gives a brittle smile_ ) I can’t wait to suffer in front of everyone!

\---

“It’s alright” Pete says, although he looks like he’s going to stab himself in the eyes- William really was their only hope. He looks over to Ryan, who is sitting in his own corner of the room, and steadily approaches him

“Hey Ryan” Ryan looks up from his papers to glare at him “Hi, what do you want now?” “I was just wondering if you wanted to, uh, deliver a poem at the Talent Show? It’s only gonna be me and Ashley, since Mike and William have to host and Sisky’s too nervous”

Now, Ryan is actually good at writing poems- amazing, even! But Ryan hardly lets his good poems see the light, because he’s always reciting his shitty Chris Martin poems.

“As I recall, someone called my poems ~~shitty~~. Someone with ~~shitty~~ bleached hair and ~~shitty~~ tattoos and a ~~shitty~~ face!” “I didn’t call all of your poems ~~shitty~~! Just, y’know… the Chris Martin ones”

Ryan wraps his scarf around his neck tighter, and glares at Pete even harder “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you can’t have me at my best”

\---

RYAN: ( _still supporting his bowl haircut_ ) All of my poems are golden! Pete’s poems are the definition of fake deep! Let's see... 'I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive / Now I only waste it dreaming of you' Bitch! We all know you waste your time dreaming about hair bleach, eyeliner, emojis, and more fake deep metaphors. 

\---

( _Brendon and Victoria glare at each other from the two different sides of the table in the Music Department, while Patrick sits in between them on his computer, ready to break apart any physical fights. Joe watches the two of them nervously_ )

“I took care of you while you were sick, you ungrateful piece of ~~shit~~! Let me have this” Vicky spits at him, as Brendon rolls his eyes “No one asked you to do that! And you wanna talk about fake? Because-“ Patrick holds his hand up, looking up from his computer screen

“Shut it down” “I’ll shut down your face!”

“Can you guys not fight? Just this one year, _please_ act like adults and be civil about it” Patrick pleads with them, but it’s no use. Vicky just stands up, and leans across the desk so that she’s in Brendon’s personal space- Brendon just stares back at her “Let’s face it, Brendon. You’re too distracted by Ryan to even compose music, let alone play it properly. I’m going to win this year, and that trophy will be mine, once and for all!” She storms out of the room after that, probably off to practice

“I hate her” Brendon scowls once she leaves. The camera zooms in on a particular shelf in the room- there are 3 trophies there, and all 3 of them are dedicated to both Vicky and Brendon

\---

VICKY: Every year, I try out for the Talent Show. And every year, Brendon tries out for the Talent Show. And we both get in! And we always ~~fucking~~ tie for first place! I swear to God, I’m going to beat him so bad this year… he won’t know what’s coming

BRENDON: Am I thankful that Vicky took care of me in my time of need? Sure! But that has nothing to do with the Talent Show, and that has nothing to do with the fact that I deserve it!

JOE: ( _eating his brownie_ ) I hate this time of year…Vic and Brendon always fight, and she drives herself crazy practicing… I just wish that neither of them would win, you know? I wish that there was someone else with musical talent who… ( _he suddenly lights up like he had a great idea_ ) Holy ~~shit~~! I have an idea!

\---

Joe waits for Brendon to leave the room, before he moves in closer to Patrick.

“Patrick… I have a question” Patrick looks up, like he’s going to start yelling “If you ask me about Pete and I’s sex life one more time, I’m-“ “It’s not about that!”

Patrick sighs, probably giving up. “Alright, shoot”

“Have you ever thought about entering the talent show?” His big, blue eyes bore into Patrick’s as Patrick shrugs “Not really. I’m more a ‘behind the scenes’ guy… Why?”

“I just think that, y’know, you could settle this 3 year long battle between Vicky and Brendon, by beating them. I know that you’re _really_ good at singing and writing music!” Patrick frowns at him “Yeah, that’s because you got into my computer and listened to all of my _locked_ demos"

( _FOOTAGE: Joe’s dancing to music that can’t be identified by the cameramen in the Music Labs. This continues for a while, just Joe shaking his hips and drinking out of a brown paper bag, until Patrick flings the door open. “WHAT THE ~~FUCK~~ ARE YOU LISTENING TO?” The camera zooms into the computer. Joe’s currently jamming to a file named “Allie” under another file called “Soul Punk” which is under a locked file “Patrick”_ )

“That’s because everyone knows that your password for everything is ‘DavidBowieIsGod’” Patrick looks into the camera with an exasperated look “Thanks, asshole! Now I have to change all of my passwords!”

Joe shrugs, before leaning back into Patrick “That’s not the point though! I think Vicky is ~~fucking~~ amazing, but she always gets nervous because she wants to win, and she falters a little, same with Brendon. But you have such a good voice! Come on, just think about it!”

And Patrick does- it _could_ solve Vicky and Brendon’s problems and bring some sort of peace to the Department… but he doesn’t know the first thing about performing in front of a crowd! Not to mention, he wrote and did everything on the demos. Where would he get a band to help him out with performing?

“Okay, but I played all of the instruments on the demo. I can’t drum, play bass, and play guitar all while singing” He makes a fair point, but Joe shakes his head “So? I know that you can at least play guitar while you sing… and I could play the other guitar part if I practice a little more! And I know for a fact that Pete plays the bass, even if it’s ~~shitty~~ bass”

“We still need a drummer, Joe, and-“ “Dude, Andy Hurley from Social Studies is a drummer! Come on, we’d be a band! It’d be ~~fuckin~~ ’ rad!”

The bell rings, and Joe has to teach next period, so he stands up. He looks down at Patrick and rests his hand on Patrick’s shoulder “Think about it, man”

\---

PATRICK: I don’t know… wouldn’t that be kind of lame? A bunch of teachers coming together to form a band? But then again… my music would be able to see the light of day…

\---

( _TIME SKIP- The day of the Talent Show, 2 weeks later_ )

“I thought it was one fake bitch in this house…” Brendon says, squinting at Vicky, before turning to Patrick “but there's two”

“Come on, Bren-“ “Don’t ‘come on, Bren’ me! I can’t believe you did that! You formed a _teacher band!”_ Vicky nods- she’s got deep circles under her eyes from exhaustion, but she still manages to look scary as she glares at Patrick “I hardly agree with Brendon, but come on. And you got Joe to join? You’re such a snake!”

“It was Joe’s idea! And come on, it’s just some friendly competition!” He offers weakly, laughing nervously under the angry glares of his co-workers. “You made a big mistake, Patty. Big. Mistake”

\---

BRENDON: Sorry, who is this ‘Patrick’ you’re referring to? Oh, you mean Fake Bitch Number 2?

VICTORIA: ( _shakes her head_ ) I hate that snake so much… and I hate that they sound _good._ Like, Pete got Patrick to use his lyrics and it’s Patrick’s original music, and it’s… _good._ It’s the worst thing to ever happen to me

ANDY: Have you ever heard of CrossFit before?

\---

( _William and Mike are practicing in the auditorium_ )

“Dude, I don’t think I can give this award to Gabe. I might come in my pants” William says, glancing over to Gabe. He’s sitting with Travie, just chatting, pausing every couple of seconds to wink at William, much to Travie’s dismay. To everyone who knew about it, they're not being oblivious. William is practically undressing Gabe with his eyes.

“I can’t do it! You just gotta get through it, man” Mike says, trying to hide his laughter- William and Gabe’s relationship will never make sense to him, but it’s funny enough.

“Why are you laughing, you piece of ~~shit~~! You know how nervous I get” Yeah, William gets really nervous when it comes to handling Gabe in public. It’s all of that “I might forget and start making out with you” nervousness that comes with, y’know, dating and having sex with your teacher.

“I think you can do it… Bill, you’ve done so much, you’ve been so careful, you’re super smart, I think you can handle announcing his name, giving a little speech, and giving him an award”

“Yeah, but I might say something like ‘This award goes out to Mr. Gabriel Saporta, our new Spanish teacher! Thanks for teaching us new verbs and showing us that with determination, nothing is impossible! Like that time ~~you fucked me with a 10-inch dildo~~!” Mike actually gags, shaking his head “TMI! Jesus Christ!” William shrugs “If you use enough lube-“ “ _Dude_. I don’t wanna hear it. Just think about your dad having sex with your mom, that’s sure to keep your mind out of the gutter”

As William and Mike bicker on stage, Gabe and Travie talk about (you guessed it!) his relationship with the valedictorian

“Dude, you’re gonna get caught. There’s no ~~fucking~~ way in hell you’re not getting caught” Travie says, flicking Gabe’s thigh with his finger when Gabe looks back over to William. “We’re careful! Trust me, we lock the doors to the janitors closet when we make out. Nothing bad will happen. Knock on wood”

“You gotta actually knock on wood for that shit to work” Gabe rolls his eyes “Whatever. I pray to The Cobra every night, Travie.  He wouldn’t do something as evil as made me get caught”

At the mention of The Cobra, Travie looks into the camera, and pretends to shoot himself in the head. Gabe worships The Cobra and never fails to mention him in conversation. Never.

\---

GABE: Fangs up! Cobra style! ( _does the ‘Fangs up Cobra style’ thing_ )

WILLIAM: While Gabe’s obsession with cobras is pretty… irritating, I love it anyways. It’s hot when he hisses in the middle of sex, y’know?

\---

( _Ryan approaches Pete with a poem in his hands after school ends_ )

“Although I think you’re a dick, I’ve decided to help you out in your time of need” is what Ryan greets Pete with. It makes Pete grit his teeth, but upon seeing the poem, he loosens up. He takes it from Ryan’s hands, and starts to read it over

“I know that it’s not as good as the ones about Chris but-“ “Ryan, shut the ~~fuck~~ up _please_ ”

He reads over the poem for a minute or so, a smile slowly forming on his face. “ ~~Shit~~ , dude! This is actually really good!” He hands Ryan his poem back, before pulling him in for an awkward hug- Ryan’s eyes widen, and he tries to pull away “Ew, get your greasy hands off of me!”

“Sorry! I just really appreciate this, man” He smirks, rocking back and forth on his heels “So, is it about Brendon?”

“ ~~Fuck~~ you” is the only thing Ryan says, although he starts blushing. He walks out of the room as Pete cackles “You’re so whipped!”

\---

RYAN: I started writing it about Chris, but as I kept writing, it started slowly becoming about Brendon… maybe Pete’s right, maybe I _am_ whipped

BRENDON: We’ve been dating for almost a month now, which is actually insane? We haven’t had hot, kinky sex yet though… which is unfortunate. But he buys me ice cream and lets me cuddle with him when we watch “Coldplay Live” so that’s got to count for something, right!

\---

( _It’s the night of The Talent Show- Patrick, Pete, Andy, and Joe all are sitting, huddled together to avoid the glares of Brendon and Vicky_ )

“I can’t believe we’re doing this?” Patrick says, with a genuine smile on his face- something that hasn’t been on his face for a while. Pete smiles upon seeing it, and he nods “I know right! Dudes, we need a band name!”

“NSYNC Part 2!” Joe blurts out, as Patrick shakes his head “Gross. And Backstreet Boys were way better so…” The camera zooms in on Joe’s appalled expression, but he doesn’t say anything about Patrick’s prosperous statement

“What about… ‘Fall Out Boy’?” Andy asks, as Patrick blinks at him “’Fall Out Boy’?” “Yeah, he’s a character from this episode of ‘The Simpsons’ I watched yesterday” Pete glances over to Patrick, as Patrick glances back “I kind of… like that? What about you, Joe?”

“I mean, NSYNC Part 2 sounds a lot better but sure… ‘Fall Out Boy’ it is”

\---

PATRICK: ‘Fall Out Boy’… weird.

\---

The camera moves from backstage to the front of the stage, where William and Mike are hosting- the Talent Show is in full swing.

“Up next, we have the Emo Time Trademark club here to recite some very powerful, very emotional poems!” Mike announces, as the audience cheers, although not nearly as loud as they cheered for everyone else- who wants to hear poems?

Pete, Ashley, and Ryan all walk out, poems in hand. Ashley steps up the microphone first- tonight, she’s supporting long, blue hair. She’s also wearing all blue clothing- her lucky color.

“Hi everyone! I’m dedicating this poem to my boyfriend, Adam T. Siska. I mean, I wrote it when we were still broken up, but I love you!” The camera zooms in on Sisky’s worried expression, before turning back to Ashley.

**_Everything was blue_ **

**_His pills, his hands, his jeans_ **

**_And now I’m covered in the colors, torn apart at the seams_ **

**_It makes me blue_ **

**_It makes me blue_ **

**_Everything was gray_ **

**_His hair, his smokes, his dreams_ **

**_And now he’s so devoid of color, he don’t know what it means_ **

**_And it makes me blue_ **

**_It makes me blue_ **

( _A montage made by Tyler of all the times Sisky and Ashley have argued on camera plays as Ashley delivers her poem- it’s very dramatic_ )

 ** _You were red_** ( _A picture of Sisky dressed up as Elmo when he was 4 appears also the screen_ )

**_And you liked me because I was blue_ **

**_You touched me_ **

**_And suddenly I was a lilac sky_ **

**_And you decided that purple just wasn’t for you_ **

Ashley finishes up her poem, and the camera zooms in on Sisky’s disturbed facial expression, although he claps for her. She screams “I love you Adam!” into the microphone, as tears spring to her eyes- soon, she’s sobbing in front of the microphone, and Patrick has to go on stage to help her backstage.

Ryan steps up next, and he glances backstage before saying into the microphone

“I want to dedicate this poem to Chris Martin” Josh, who is backstage, shows Brendon rolling his eyes- it’s to be expected, but he wishes Ryan would acknowledge him. But, when Ryan announces that the poem is also dedicated to ‘my very energetic boyfriend, Mr. Brendon Urie’, Brendon jumps up and shakes Josh’s shoulders “Oh my god!! Oh my god!!”

Back on stage, Ryan takes a deep breath, before reciting

**_The ink is running toward the page_ **

**_It’s chasing off the days_ **

**_Look back at both feet and that winding knee_ **

**_I missed your skin when you were east_ **

**_You clicked your heels and wished for me_ **

**_Through playful lips made of yarn_ **

**_That fragile Capricorn unraveled words like moths upon old scarves_ **

**_I know the world’s a broken bone_ **

**_But melt your headaches, call it home_ **

He continues the ‘Northern Downpour’ poem, but backstage, Brendon wipes away a few stray tears, because screw anyone who says Ryan can’t be romantic. But also, it makes Brendon so emotional, and because of that he turns to Vicky and he says “Vicky… I think I’m gonna drop out. You deserve that trophy”

But, Vicky shakes her head “Dude, you deserve that trophy! You turned Ryan into a human being!” “No, no, Vicky you deserve the trophy… You took care of me when I was sick, and you’re such a good person” They continue this for a while, just bickering back and forth before Brendon finally says “Why don’t we just both drop out and let Patrick win?”

They glance over to Patrick, who looks like he’s going to have another breakdown. If any of them deserve a stupid trophy, it’s _Patrick,_ who has been practically killing himself with all of the work and stress he’s been under.

They nod at each other, before approaching him. He sees them from the corner of his eye, and he flinches “Guys, can we stop fighting-“ “Wait! Vicky and I have something to say” He takes a deep breath, almost like the words hurt to say “Vicky and I are dropping out. We want you to win”

Patrick’s eyes widen “What?!” He glances back and forth between the two of them “But guys… but…. I don’t understand-“ “Patrick, you’ve worked so hard these past few months! And I’m tired of fighting with Brendon, surprisingly” Brendon nods, while shrugging “Same. And Ryan’s poem made me out to be some sort of God, so in a way, I’ve already won!”

Just as Brendon finishes his sentence, Ryan appears backstage. Brendon runs to him (past Ashley, who is being calmed down by William and Mike) and jumps into Ryan’s arms. “George Ryan Ross! You’re the only man that matters in this ~~shit~~ world!”

\---

RYAN: Stop looking at me like that… I know it was super cheesey, okay? As Brendon always says, let me live, okay? Let me live

BRENDON: I’m so wet right now… I mean, like, not really, but like. I’m so wet right now.

\---

 _(‘Fall Out Boy’ performs their song- it went amazingly, and everyone actually cheered for them, which was one of Patrick’s concerns. Joe and Pete grin at each other as Patrick gets showered with compliments from the crowd, and Andy throws his drum sticks into the air. Afterwards, William walks out with Mike, with an award in his hands. He’s also shaking violently, but Mike gives him a look of reassurance_ )

“A-and now! A-and now, I’d like to h-honor the school’s favorite new teacher, M-Mr. Gabriel Saporta!” William stutters, almost dropping the award. But no one really notices, and if they did, they’d probably think William was just nervous. Gabe makes his way on stage, and William actually whimpers, thankfully away from the microphone.

“Barrington just wants to thank you for a-all of the work that… that you’ve done for the school! Thanks for teaching new verbs and showing us that with determination, anything is possible! Like… like, um, like when you… yeah! Say a few words!” William says, almost throwing the microphone at Gabe. Gabe catches it, and just to be an asshole he purrs “Thanks William” into the microphone. William’s eyes widen, and Mike has to practically steady him as Gabe gives a half-assed speech about the importance of teaching.

He smirks at William when he gives back the microphone, and he mouths “Meet me at the closet” to him, before walking off stage. William just nods hurriedly, before turning back to the audience, and announcing the winners of the Talent Show- Patrick, of course, won the Teacher’s Section, and he walks on stage to collect the award with the rest of the band

“What’s your band name?!” A student screams at Patrick, when he steps up to the microphone. He looks sheepishly at Pete, Andy, and Joe before saying “We’re Fall Out Boy”

\---

PATRICK: It’s kind of weird… it’s kind of weird, but I want to do that again. And again, and again. I loved that… ( _grins_ ) I really ~~fucking~~ loved that

\---

_(It’s an hour later, and the show just ended. William and Gabe are making out in the janitor’s closet)_

“ ~~Fuck~~ , right there” William moans, as Gabe sucks a bruise onto a spot on William’s throat. Gabe’s got his leg pressed in between William’s thighs, and William’s backed against a wall. His back arches off the wall, and he whimpers when Gabe bites another sensitive spot on his neck- Gabe knows his body so well.

“I love you” William whispers, tangling his hands in Gabe’s shirt. Gabe grins up at him and kisses his cheek “I love you too, my Bilvy”

They continue to make out for a while, and they lose track of time. Neither of them hear any approaching steps, so they’re in a _really_ bad position when the door suddenly flies open- the door wasn’t locked.

Both Gabe and William jerk away in an instant, and turn to look at who interrupted them, praying it was one of William’s friends, or Travie, or the cameramen.

But it’s Patrick, staring at them with wide eyes. His jaw drops in surprise, and he drops the trophy that he got on the ground in shock.

( _After the camera zooms in on Patrick, it suddenly cuts to black, and the words “ **TO BE CONTINUED** ” appear. Josh, unseen, whispers “You gotta sound ominous when you say this” and Tyler clears his throat before saying in a very bored voice “To be continued” “Tyler, come on!”_)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very random, but "of all the gin joints in all the world" is the best song by FOB ever written... EVER. i could probably talk about it all day like listen "your makeup stains my pillowcase like ill never the same" IS SO GOOD????? LIKE???? YOUR MAKEUP STAAAAINS LIKE I'LL NEVER BE THE SAAAAME. turn off the LIIIGHts an d turn off the SHYNESS!!!!!!! 
> 
> sorry im just :/ real emo for FUTCT. idk what i had to say? sorry fr this shitty filler chapter!!! i planned out the rest of the story, and i only have 4 chapters left... idk how i feel about it... just planning out the last chapter made me sad :( i cant imagine not writing coldplay addicted ryan every week??? im very biased but coldplay addicted!ryan is my family... he's my son... i love him... 
> 
> anyways!! i hope you guys liked this enough and never forget that the fact that halsey deleted her twitter account because of how badly she was getting bullied is fucked up! l8r!


	19. Yellow Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is real angsty, just fyi :/

( _The camera picks up from where they left off- Patrick’s still staring at William and Gabe with a horrified expression and Gabe steps in front of William to protect him from the Wrath of Patrick Martin Stump_ )

“Patrick, buddy, let me explain” Gabe begins to say, as William cowers behind him, peeking over Gabe’s shoulder. It was one thing, getting caught by stoner Joe Trohman, but it’s another thing getting caught by a teacher he actually respects and cares about. And a teacher who would probably _do_ something about the fact that this is super illegal. But Patrick isn’t even looking at Bill, he’s glaring daggers into Gabe

“Explain?! What the ~~fuck~~ can you explain, you dumbass!” Patrick roars, squinting up his eyes up at Gabe “Please, explain to me why you were… were making out with _William,_ your goddamn student, in the closet”

Gabe winces “Well, you see, mi amigo, it’s a lot more complicated than that” Patrick blinks at him, waiting for him to continue. His jaw is clenched, and he _really_ looks like he’s .00002 seconds away from punching the shit out of him, which Gabe takes into account when he says “I mean, William is 18, and-“

“Oh my God” William brings his hand to his head, listening on helplessly as Gabe stutters through a pathetic excuse, glancing behind Patrick’s shoulder to the cameramen for help.

“Why would you do this?!” Patrick flails his hands around, looking for the correct words to say, but he can’t find them “Why the ~~fuck~~ would you do this, why would you put me in this position?! Why the ~~fuck~~ -“

“Again, Patrick, you have to take into consideration that Bill is legal-“ The cameramen aren’t sure why Gabe isn’t scared shitless, but they figure that Gabe thinks Patrick wouldn’t say anything about it for the sake of William and their friendship. Because Patrick is a good friend, you know? But then suddenly, Patrick draws back his fist and punches Gabe in the jaw so hard that he falls to the ground… so there’s that.

\---

( _TIME SKIP: It’s Saturday afternoon, and everyone is in the auditorium, excluding Gabe. Ashley is on the stage, singing. The camera zooms in on Patrick’s bruised knuckles_ )

“ _Oh, isn’t this amazing? It’s my favorite part because, you’ll see! Here’s where she meets Prince Charming, but she won’t discover that it’s him until Chapter 3_!” Ashley sings on the stage, as Brendon suddenly turns to Ryan “Holy shit… is this bitch reading her own ~~fucking~~ story?! This is foreshadowing!”

Ryan blinks at Brendon “Have you ever even seen ‘Beauty and the Beast’, that literally makes no sense at all” “I’m telling you, babe... foreshadowing”

On the stage, Ashley continues to sing- she’s wearing the brown wig for the first time, and it’s really weird seeing her with natural colored hair, but she makes it work. She makes it work, that is, until she whips her head around to sing, and the wig flies off and lands in the pit. The camera zooms in on it, before it zooms in on Patrick

Only Patrick is so internally conflicted that he just blinks at it before sighing “Just kill me now”

\---

PATRICK: Gabe Saporta causes me so much stress… so much _~~fucking~~ _ stress, oh my God. I didn’t even sleep last night, I just stayed up all night and thought about what I was going to say to the both of them. What do you even say to your friend who you caught making out with a student?!

ASHLEY: ( _fiddling with the wig- she’s taken off the wig cap, so her dyed but natural hair is out_ ) I’m really worried that Mr. Stump is going to have a heart attack. I’m not really worried that he’ll rat out Bill, since he’ll _really_ have no show then, but I honestly feel in my heart, truly, that Mr. Stump is going to have a heart attack. Knock on wood ( _knocks on wood_ )

\---

Pete, next to him, rubs circles on Patrick’s wrist “Baby… everything is going to be okay. Come on, let’s make out in the janitor’s closet, I know that’ll make you feel better!” He grins, before frowning upon realizing his mistake. “Like how William and Gabe were making out?! Goddammit, Pete!” Patrick says, moving to get out of his seat. But Pete pulls him closer, shaking his head “Wait, I didn’t mean it like that! Listen…” Pete sighs “You’re my best friend, I hate seeing you like this. You don’t even want to top anymore, and you _love_ topping” Patrick glances over Pete’s shoulders at the cameras before muttering “I do love topping, but that’s not the point. I’m, like, two seconds from killing myself”

A flash of hurt flashes through Pete’s eyes, and he moves away “Jesus ~~fuck~~ , don’t say ~~shit~~ like that. Don’t say that” Patrick just sighs, and turns back to the stage “Sorry”

\---

JOE: Angsty times at Barrington High? _(takes a bite out of a weed cookie- he’s broadening his horizons)_ Sorry, I just love eavesdropping

\---

The camera focuses on Joe lying on the floor directly behind the seats that Pete and Patrick are in- he’s texting everything to Vicky, who is sitting with Brendon and Ryan by the stage

“I’ll beat Gabe up for you, alright? I just… I just hate seeing you so stressed out, you know? I don’t know how to help, you’re the only always saving me, not the other way around, and-“ Patrick shushes Pete with a kiss, and takes his hand in his, ignoring “YES MR. STUMP, GET IT!” from the stage, where Ashley is currently lounging.

“I’m okay, I promise. Don’t worry about me, alright? I’ll be fine” Pete opens his mouth to disagree, but Patrick narrows his eyes “I promise! I’m all good”

\---

JOE: ( _still eating the cookie_ ) Lies, everywhere!

VICKY: ( _rolling her eyes_ ) Listen, I know that it seems like I hate Patrick, but just like with Brendon, I actually care deeply for him. I know, shocking. And as much as I love seeing Patrick suffer, I don’t want him to suffer _this_ much!

\---

Patrick gives Pete a small smile, before he turns back to the students “Everyone, I think we’re just going to end the rehearsal right now” There’s a whole chorus of applause, but then Sisky runs back out onto the stage, still in costume “Wait! Wait, Mr. Stump! I have something I need to say!”

Patrick glances over to Pete and shrugs before looking back over to Sisky “Uh, go for it... I guess?”

Sisky pulls out the red rose that they were using as a stage prop from behind his back, and walks over to Ashley. Patrick opens his mouth to yell at him for taking the very delicate prop (They could always get another one, but Patrick’s, as we all know, very much on the edge right now), but Pete elbows him in the ribs (I think he’s gonna ask her out to the prom” Pete whispers

“ASHLEY! I ~~FUCKIN~~ ’ LOVE YOU, BABE!” He shouts, loud enough for everyone to stop what they’re doing to pay attention to him. Ashley watches him, a grin on her face, as Sisky gets down on one knee in front of her “Ash… you’re the coolest girl in school… and I’m so lucky to be dating you. We’re like a modern day beauty and the beast” He pauses for a second, before motioning to the musical set behind him “literally! Even though I’m Gaston” He holds the rose out to Ashley as William, The Butcher, and Mike all walk out from behind the curtain holding confetti poppers. Brendon watches on excitedly- confetti is always a good time, even if he despises heterosexuality.

“I could probably say a thousand things that are awesome about you… but that’s super cheesey, and I know that you don’t like cheesey things” He pauses for another second before fumbling over his words “So I’ll just get to the point… Ashley Frangipane, will you go to prom with me?”

All of the students on stage cheer as Ashley screams “ ~~FUCK~~ YEAH!” (Patrick doesn’t even seem to register it) and she pulls Sisky back up to make out with him. William and the bunch pop the confetti poppers, and confetti falls on them as they continue to make out, until Vicky yells at them to keep it PG

“Does this mean that we’re going to have to clean up the confetti?” Patrick asks, before bringing his fingers up to his forehead, and rubbing at his temple “I need a nap… right now”

\---

ASHLEY: ( _gives the camera a peace sign_ ) Ya girl is going to prom! Out of all the lame-ass things Sisky has ever said to me, that's got to be the lame-assiest... but I loved it.

BRENDON: ( _throws confetti at the camera, before turning to Ryan and dumping confetti in his hair- Ryan’s eyes widen and he immediately reaches up to pull some of it out “What the ~~fuck~~?!”)_ Isn’t this great?!

\---

20 minutes later, after the majority of the set is cleaned up, and almost all of the students leave, a very nervous William approaches Patrick and Pete “Um… Mr. Stump? Can I talk to you?”

Pete glances between the two of them, before clearing his throat “I’ll go, uh, warm up the car… or something” William smiles politely at him, a little awkwardly, but politely nonetheless.

Once Pete leaves, William takes a deep breath “I’m not sure where to begin… because I’ve never, uh… dated a teacher before” Patrick flinches at the words, and the bruise on his hand begins to ache.

“And it’s gonna sound kind of crazy, but… we had been hooking up-“ Cue even more wincing from Patrick “-with each other before I even knew he was my teacher. We sort of had a summer fling… and then I thought that was it. And then he turned out to be my teacher”

“He’s, like, 8 years older than you-“ “7… and he didn’t know old I was when we were, uh, together. And we really tried to break up, but I’m in love with him. He’s an idiot, as you probably know, but I love him a lot” William laughs nervously “I’m really in love with him, and I don’t know what would happen if he like… went to jail because of me”

None of this really makes Patrick feel any better- the word “ILLEGAL!” keep flashing in his mind. But he gulps- he knows what being in love feels like, he’s _been_ in love with Pete for years on end.

“And you know what you’re doing?” Patrick asks, as William nods quickly “Yeah! I mean, getting caught was a mistake, that wasn’t supposed to happen… but yeah”

Patrick blames it on the lack of sleep when he says “Only because you’re going to graduate in a month, and I actually trust you… I mean, you _are_ consenting, right… and technically the age of consent is 17 here…” It’s totally fucked up, but Patrick has 100% given up on any of the morals he believed in

“Exactly! Thanks so much, Mr. Stump!” William grins, before waving and running out of the auditorium before he can change his mind

\---

PATRICK: Don’t give me that look… what else was I supposed to do? William would probably lose his scholarship over this! And he’s, like, smart, you know? And he did say that the relationship began before they knew that he was going to be his teacher… so it’s not 100% wrong… it’s like 90% wrong, but you have to take that 10% into consideration!

WILLIAM: ( _has his hands clasped together and his eyes closed_ ) Thank you, Almighty Cobra

\---

( _Brendon and Ryan are sitting together at the ice cream parlor- Brendon is languidly licking at the soft serve cone_ )

“I want to go to prom” Brendon pouts, before proceeding to kick his feet “I really want to go to prom, prom season is so sad”

“Ow! And I mean, technically, aren’t you chaperoning?” Ryan asks, taking a bite of his Rocky Road ice cream- the camera catches the way that he stares at Brendon licking his ice cream.

“Yeah, but that’s boring. Not the part where we confiscate their drugs and take them ourselves, but everything else” Ryan shrugs “I’ve never chaperoned prom before”

This makes Brendon’s eyes widen “What the hell?! You’re not a teacher until you’ve _chaperoned the prom!”_ Ryan shrugs again “They just never asked and I never volunteered”

\---

RYAN: I love being an underachiever, actually. Why would I volunteer and help the community and the school when I can stay at home and sleep and listen to Coldplay?

\---

“Well, why don’t you come with Vicky and I? It’d be fuuuuun” Brendon starts giving Ryan the puppy eyes, and he kicks his legs again “Please? Pretty please? Pretty, pretty please? Pretty, pretty please with-“

Ryan gives the camera a pleading look before reluctantly agreeing with Brendon once he got up to the 6th ‘pretty’.

“This is so exciting! I never went to my prom, and now I’m going with my _boyfriend_ ” Brendon exclaims excitedly before grabbing Ryan’s hands with his free hand “You’re the greatest man to ever exist”

“…After Chris Martin, you mean? Because then you’d just be lying to me” Ryan narrows his eyes, as Brendon rolls his own eyes playfully “Right. You’re the greatest man to ever exist _after_ Chris Martin”

\---

( _TIME SKIP- It’s Monday morning, during first period. Patrick has a free period, so he’s in the Music Department, reading a book by himself. He looks a little better compared to Saturday, although not by much. Gabe paces in front of the Music Department, holding two cups of coffee, before slowly knocking on the door by opening it_ )

Patrick looks up at the sound of the door opening, expecting it to be Pete. He immediately looks back at his book once he sees that it’s Gabe, and he clenches his fist so that he doesn’t start screaming at him

“Hey Patrick… Can we, uh, talk?” Gabe asks, before waving a cup of coffee in front of him “I brought you come coffee” Patrick shrugs with one shoulder, still looking at his book.

Gabe walks over, and sits in one of the seats around the circle table. He slides Patrick’s cup of coffee towards him before opening his mouth “If it makes you feel better, my face feels like ~~shit~~ ”

Patrick looks up and says with a straight face “It doesn’t. But thanks” He takes the cup of coffee, and takes a hesitant sip, watching as Gabe comes up with the right words to say. But Patrick is the first one to say something

“Listen, I’m sorry for punching you, alright? I didn’t know what to do, and I was… I don’t know, a little offended that you didn’t even seem upset about anyone finding out. Like, ~~fuck~~ , you’re dating a student, Gabe. A ~~fucking~~ student, what were you thinking?”

Gabe shrugs- he wasn’t. He tends to think with his heart “I don’t know… I love Bill, man. He’s the greatest, and we were going to wait until he graduated, but I see him all the time, all day. Do you know how difficult that is?”

This makes Patrick scoff “Uh, yeah? I used to see Pete make out with Mikey for 2 years straight while I was in love with him”

Gabe scratches at the stubble on his face- _right_. His struggles with love don’t really compare to Patrick’s. “Oh yeah…”

“Listen, I’m not gonna tell anyone, alright? I mean, I ranted to Pete, and apparently Travie already _knew_ , which I’m not gonna even get into, but I’m not going to say anything. He’s graduating in, like, 2 months, and it’s not worth it, he seems to really care about you” Patrick says, before narrowing his eyes “But if I have to see you guys making out again, I’m gonna set myself on fire, okay?”

Gabe leaps out of his seat to hug Patrick “Patrick! I love you so much, thank you so much” He presses a wet kiss to the side of Patrick’s face before, like William, running out of the room before Patrick could change his mind.

\---

GABE: ( _prays_ ) Our Cobra, who art in that one desert in Arizona, hallowed be thy cobra name-

\---

Patrick grimaces, and wipes his cheek just as Pete walks into the room. “Oh God, did you scare him away?” He asks, as Patrick rolls his eyes playfully “Shut up, no. We made up, I guess. He, like, made out with my cheek” Pete grins “Sounds hot”

Pete strolls over to where Patrick’s sitting, and only then does Patrick notice the yellow flowers in Pete’s hands “Pete-“

“No, listen” Pete sits down where Gabe was, and he rests the flowers on the table “I love you, Patrick. I love you so much, I love how you’re so stubborn even if it kills me sometimes, and I love how determined you are, and I love how you’re so forgiving when it’s appropriate, and I love how grumpy you are without coffee in the morning, but not like _Mikey_ grumpy… you’re like _Patrick_ grumpy, and I dig that” Pete hands Patrick the yellow flowers

“You know how much yellow flowers cheer me up, as dumb as that is, and I’m not sure if this is even going to make you feel better… but I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I’m going to do everything in my power to make you happy, and make you smile, even if that means giving you flowers every morning, or, I don’t know, making you breakfast and giving you massages, and the whole 9 yards. You deserve to be happy, Patrick”

Pete smiles sadly at Patrick “I know how being suicidal feels, like _for real_. And I never want you to feel that, not if I can help it. I know that… that yellow flowers wouldn’t cure depression, but I just want to put a real smile on your face, you know? You’ve been saving me all these years, and it’s my turn to, like, save you too”

Patrick can’t help but tear up a little at it, and he smiles through his tears “Oh my God… I don’t even know what to say, I love you Pete” Pete wipes Patrick’s tears away, and he laughs a little “Stop crying, you’re gonna make me cry too” He leans down to kiss Patrick, and he whispers “And I didn’t want to, like, ruin the mood, but I also love the way you ~~fuck me~~. Just… FYI” And Patrick hits his shoulder, laughing “Oh my God, you’re sick!”

\---

( _William, The Butcher, and Mike all walk past another promposal- it’s the 5 th one in the day_)

“Goddammit, I hate this!” William whines. “I wish I got asked to the prom”

“Too bad your boyfriend is 7 years older than you… and your teacher” The Butcher says, grinning when William elbows him in the stomach “You’re such an asshole”

“It’s the truth!” He says, and William narrows his eyes at him. He _loves_ getting reminded about how screwed he is.

“We should all go to the prom together!” Mike blurts out. William and The Butcher trade glances, as Mike continues on “It’d be so _lit_! The three musketeers, all at prom! I mean, ~~fuck~~ Sisky for getting a date, but since it’s clear that we’re obviously not going to get any, we should just go together!”

“Like a prom threesome?” William asks, as Mike nods “Yeah! Minus all the butt sex, I’m not really, like, into that. But come on, it’s better than the 3 of us going alone!”

None of them can really disagree with that logic, so they all shrug, before changing the topic- prom threesomes it is.                                                                        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im trying this new thing where i try not to completely trash my writing so... :)!))#)(($(%%* i hope this chapter was alright
> 
> also the next chapter is gonna be the musical... ive literally hyped up this goddamn musical so much jdnjgn so expect the next chapter to take like 2 weeks to write just because im gonna stress over it and made it super long since patrick's sanity is literally deteriorating because of it 
> 
> also holy shit... 60k+ words... i cant believe that? i wrote that many WORDS holy shit?? i mean, the author of THROAM wrote like 500k+ words so this is nothing compared to that but... 60 THOUSAND WORDS?!?!??!?!?!!??!?!? i cant believe ive been writing this for so long (this is gonna be emo) and i cant believe some of you have been here since the beginning?? you guys have stuck with me through alll of the shitty chapters (including this one...) and all of the author's notes, and i just wanna say thank you so much :( <3 this isnt even the end, but i just had to say this because im so EMO


	20. The Musical

PATRICK: ( _holding an iced coffee in each hand. His hair is also disheveled and he looks like he just rolled out of bed, despite the fact his eyes are bloodshot_ ) So, today is the first day of the musical ( _takes a sip of one of the coffees_ ) I haven’t slept in 2 days, what’s sleep? Never heard of it. Anyways, I’m so nervous and excited and just… _holy ~~shit~~ todayisthedayofthemusical_

VICTORIA: It’s certainly been… a journey…

( _A short montage of Patrick yelling, Ashley’s wig flying off, William falling off the side of the set, Joe smoking a joint in the auditorium, Brendon taking selfies while he conducts, Sisky tripping over his boots and falling into the pit and hitting his head on the side of a tuba, and Ryan Ross looking like he’d rather be anywhere else is shown_ )

\---

 _(Patrick’s sitting quietly in the Music Department sipping his two coffees- Joe and Vicky are sitting across from him, doing their own work. Joe’s also eating a bagel_ )

“You’re awfully quiet” Vicky notes, before kicking her legs so that she could tap Patrick’s knee. Patrick jolts at the touch, and looks up from staring at a random poster on the wall to glare at Vicky “Ow? What was that for?!”

“You’re being unusually quiet considering… y’know, the musical?” Patrick shrugs “I think that I’m so exhausted that I can’t even feel nervous… I’m, like, on another plane of exhaustion” Patrick rubs at his eyes “I just kept imagining everything going wrong and I couldn’t sleep”

“But you need sleep, bro” Joe says, lazily. He tears a piece off of his bagel, and offers it to Patrick “Weed bagel? It’ll make you sleepy, and then you can take a nap on the couch or whatever. You don’t even have to worry about your classes, someone’ll cover for you”

“Weed bagel?” “Yeah, weed bagel! I’d offer you a whole one but, uh…” He reaches over the table to pat Patrick’s hand gently “we all know that you don’t mix well with drugs” Vicky snickers next to him, nodding “Whata lightweight!”

\---

JOE: ( _eating his bagel_ ) Alright dudes. What you’re gonna need is a ~~shitload~~ of weed, butter, and some plain bagels. First, you melt aaaall your butter, till it’s liquid. Then, you dump your weed in there, stir it until it’s all weed-y, then you stick that ~~shit~~ back in the fridge. Once it, like, gets all hard n’ whatnot, you spread that weed butter on your bagel. Tada! Weed bagel!

\---

“I hate you, oh my god. Are you ~~fucking~~ serious?” Patrick asks, although he looks kinda curious. Joe is pretty handy when it comes to weed, he doesn’t really put this past him. Joe nods, grinning, and he shakes the hand that has the bagel in it “I wouldn’t make something this great up! Dude, you need to sleep, eat it!”

“They’re delicious! I had, like, 3 on the way here” Vicky adds, as Patrick rubs his temples “Is everyone high? Is Brendon high?” He pauses, looking at the empty seats “Where _is_ Brendon?”

“Dude! Just eat the bagel, it’s for your safety!” Joe reaches over the table to shove the bagel in Patrick’s mouth. Patrick gags on it at first (and Vicky makes some absurd comment about the bagel being Pete’s dick), but he eventually swallows it down with a grimace.

“Just drink your coffee and lay down. We’ll cover for you, man” Joe says, as Patrick glares at him over his glasses. But he takes a sip of his coffee to clear his throat of all the weed bagel- he wouldn’t ever admit it, but the bagel wasn’t that bad

By the time Brendon walks in, a couple of minutes later, Patrick is fast asleep on the couch in the room. Joe draped Patrick’s leather jacket over his chest, and placed his fedora over his eyes so that it would be dark enough for Patrick to sleep

“Did Patrick die or somethin’?” Brendon asks, throwing his bag on the table. Joe shakes his head “He had some of my weed bagel. You want?”

\---

( _TIME SKIP- It’s a couple of hours before the show, and Ryan is over at Brendon’s apartment, getting ready for the show. Ryan’s sitting in a chair in front of a mirror in the bathroom, and Brendon’s standing behind him with a curling iron)_

“Are you sure you’re not going to burn my forehead?” Ryan asks, wincing as he stares at the curling iron in Brendon’s hands. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Brendon to not burn him but… he doesn’t trust Brendon to not burn him

“I’ll make your bowl cut look a thousand times better, I promise” Brendon promises, as Ryan glares at him through the reflection. Brendon had insisted that Ryan change up his hair for the musical, and as we all know, when Brendon insists, Brendon _insists_.

\---

BRENDON: Before I wanted to be a teacher, I wanted to be a hair stylist. Every day of my life until my parents kicked me out, I had to look at my Mom’s repulsive hair style and was like “When I’m older, I’m going to prevent that pathetic excuse of a haircut from ever happening to anyone”

\---

“No one will be looking at my hair when they see your outfit” The camera zooms into a sparkly suit hanging in the corner of the bathroom, before moving back to Brendon and Ryan “I have to distract the audience from the repulsive heterosexuality on the stage somehow!” Brendon waves around the hot curling iron as he says this, and then he turns around to face the camera man (it’s Josh- his pink hair is visible from the mirror”

“You trust me, right?” Brendon asks, and the camera moves, as if Josh was shrugging. Brendon rolls his eyes and turns back around, grumbling “I am so underappreciated”

“It’s just that, y’know… I’ve never _seen_ you style hair-“ “You would trust Chris Martin to curl your hair, but you don’t trust me?!” “That’s unfair, you know I trust Chris Martin with my life”

Brendon doesn’t respond to that, mostly because it’s true. He grabs a piece of Ryan’s hair, runs his comb through it (his hair is long enough to be curled, but curled by, like, an actual professional) and looks at Ryan through his reflection “Ready?” Ryan hesitantly nods, before Brendon starts curling his hair- Unfortunately, he ends up making contact with Ryan’s ear, since Ryan’s hair is long, but not _that_ long

“Holy ~~shit~~ , Brendon, what the ~~fuck~~!” Ryan screams, as Brendon winces “Oops!” Before Ryan can say anything, Brendon holds a finger up “Listen buddy, beauty is painful. I tell myself that every time I get my eyebrows threaded, and every time I wax my chest and pubic hair”

“You wax…” Ryan begins to say, before shaking his head. “I mean, your eyebrows always look good, but _Brendon_. My ear is throbbing”

“I know right! And just put on Coldplay, I’ll be done in, like, 10 minutes”

20 minutes later, and 3 burns later (two on Ryan’s forehead and the other on the back of his neck), Ryan’s hair is finally curled. It looks more like Ryan rolled out of bed than anything else, but Brendon looks at Ryan with hopeful eyes

“Does it look good?” He asks, and Ryan opens his mouth to say something mean, but then he takes in Brendon’s expression, and his shy smile. “It looks great, Bren” He says, before giving him a thumb up. Brendon grins broadly, and ruffles Ryan’s hair “Yay! Let me just get the hair spray!”

\---

RYAN: ( _crosses his arms_ ) He looked so proud, okay?! Sue me for trying to make my boyfriend happy! ( _he presses his hand to his forehead_ ) But seriously, is my skin bubbling, because those burns…

\---

The two of them, for the next 30 or so minutes, get ready for the musical side by side. It’s a little awkward, since Josh is standing there, filming everything  (but Brendon likes to pretend he’s one of the Kardashians on ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ minus like… all the racism. So he doesn’t mind being filmed). Like, Ryan helps shave the back of Brendon’s neck, and Brendon ties Ryan’s tie for him, and it’s extremely domestic and kind of cute, not that Ryan would admit it.

\---

 _(TIME SKIP- Patrick calls all of the musical cast to gather around before he takes his seat in the audience. The camera zooms in on how Gabe and William naturally gravitate to one another until Gabe’s arm is almost around his shoulder. Pete draws a line across his neck (he’s standing next to Patrick) and points to Gabe, and Gabe takes a step away from William, but it isn’t much_ )

“As usual, I never know what to say… or the right thing to say, rather, but I am so unbelievably proud of all of the work that we did, that _you guys_ did” Patrick begins to say, glancing around the musical cast. Over the past few months, he’s pretty much put them through hell, and he’s put _himself_ through hell, but everyone seems happy enough that the show is finally here “And we’ve practiced so much, and we’ve designed this gorgeous set, and we did all of this work, and just… wow, I’m so proud” Patrick repeats himself, but then he starts tearing up- from the looks of the entire cast, this is pretty normal. Pete reaches inside of his pocket for some crumpled up tissues, and hands some of them to Patrick- they also look like they have eyeliner stains on them, but Patrick brings it to his eyes anyways

“I just can’t believe how beautiful you guys made this entire production, you know? And… and I’m so lucky to have a cast like you guys, who stuck through all of my yelling, and all of that stressful rehearsing, and just…” Patrick starts crying harder, and the camera zooms in on Gabe’s lip trembling, before Gabe starts crying with him

“Patrick, we love you!” Gabe cries out, before moving towards Patrick, bringing him in for a hug. “You’re the best director, like, ever!” Ashley agrees with Gabe, before starting a chant “We love Patrick! We love Patrick!” and soon enough, the entire musical crew starts chanting “We love Patrick”, despite the fact that Patrick would rather be called “Mr. Stump” by his students.

“I just feel so loved, and this production is so epic, and beautiful, and…” Patrick babbles to Pete, behind Gabe’s arm, since Gabe’s still hugging him, as the chanting continues, but then he catches sight of Brendon and Ryan, and his expression immediately hardens “Oh... my God”

Now, the 8 hours of sleep that Patrick got while he was napping at work really did him wonders- the deep, dark circles under his eyes were now gone, there was a sparkle in his blue eyes, he was actually smiling again, and he was practically glowing with excitement- but seeing Brendon’s flashy outfit suddenly made that all go away “What the ~~fuck~~ are you wearing?!”

\---

PATRICK: He looks like a ~~fuckin~~ ’ disco ball, okay, like-

VICKY: I love Brendon, I love Brendon Boyd Ugly Urie so much, sometimes I doubt my love for him, but then he comes into the show wearing a suit dumped in 12 ounces of glitter, and then I remember how much I love Brendon

\---

“My suit! Do you like it?” Brendon asks, before spinning around to give Patrick a full look- the room literally lights up, with the way that the light’s reflection hits the glitter particles on his suit.

“How are we supposed to put on a production when everyone’s attention will be on… be on you!” Patrick asks, and Brendon blinks “That’s the point, PMS!” And Patrick blinks back at him, in awe. He takes a deep breath, before turning on his heel, and he walks away, mumbling about how he needs some Advil

“That went well” Ryan notes, from next to Brendon, sarcastically, and Brendon sighs “He’s upset… I mean, I guess I should have seen this one coming, but I look so _good_ , you know?” He frowns for a moment, before leaning over to press a kiss against Ryan’s cheek “I’m gonna go find him, okay?”

Ryan shrugs, waving goodbye as Brendon goes running in Patrick’s direction. Joe comes up to Ryan a moment later and ruffles his hair “Dude, what the hell happened to your head?” “Brendon happened” “Ohhh, understandable. He tried straightening my hair once, I’m pretty sure I got a third-degree burn”

\---

( _Gabe comes up to William, who was applying his stage makeup with Ashley. Gabe still has tear tracks on his face, and his nose is red from all of the Emo™ crying he just did with Patrick_ )

“Hey Mr. Saporta!” Ashley says, waving to him. William turns around, one eye coated with eyeliner, and he smiles “Hey, you”

“Hey you back” Gabe says to him, before giving a small wave back to Ashley.  Thankfully, Ashley knows how to take a hint, plus she hasn’t made out with Sisky in while, so she gets up from out of her seat and pats William’s shoulder “I’m gonna go find Sisky, don’t make out and make another teacher find you guys, okay?” and then she skips off.

William winces, but he doesn’t say anything else until he hears the door to the classroom close “I hate her”

“ _Sure_ you do. Anyways, I gotta go hand out, like, programs and whatever. But before I go, I wanted to wish you good luck” He says, walking towards William “And I wanted to tell you that you’re gonna do so great out there, and that your parents are ~~shitheads~~ for not coming”

William brings a hand to his forehead, and he groans “ _Wow_ , thanks for that reminder”

“I’m just saying, your parents are total dumbasses, and I’ll kick their asses for not coming” William rolls his eyes, but he tilts his head and leans up when Gabe leans down to kiss him, so Gabe knows that William isn’t totally pissed at him

“Also, you look so hot with your stage makeup on… not the whole Beast thing, even though that’s kinda hot too, but like everything else. ~~Fuck~~ , I wanna ~~fuck~~ your mouth so bad” Gabe says, nonchalantly, and William covers his ears “Jesus ~~fucking~~ Christ, get out!” Gabe grins at him, yelling “Break a leg!” as he runs out of the room

\---

WILLIAM: ( _uses his reflection in the camera to apply his eyeliner, unaware that the camera was rolling. He hums something from the show under his breath_ )

ASHLEY: ( _with her makeup on- she’s got her brown wig on, and her bright red lipstick_ ) I’m shitting myself, I’m so excited! I was on vocal rest for, like, a week ( _FOOTAGE: Ashley writing ‘I wanna choke on Daddy Chris Evans’s cock until I die’ on a piece of paper and holding it up for William to see. The camera zooms in on Sisky’s wide eyes when he reads it by accident_ ), so my voice sounds so beautiful and pure, if I must say so myself, and I’m just so excited! ( _claps her hands together and smiles really wide_ ) AAAA!

SISKY: ( _wearing his Gaston wig- he’s pacing up and down backstage, talking to himself- Brendon’s running around trying to find Patrick in the background_ ) Don’t puke on stage, don’t puke on stage, don’t puke on stage…

MIKE: Am I excited to play Ashley’s dad? I guess… I mean, Ashley calling me ‘Daddy’ on stage every day is sort of weird... It’d be hot if it weren’t _Ashley_ , though

THE BUTCHER: ( _tuning his instrument_ ) I’ve never been more grateful to be playing in the pit… except for that time that Sisky fell on me during rehearsals

WILLIAM: ( _still applying his eyeliner_ )

\---

( _Patrick’s greeting people at the door- he’s got a genuine smile on, since Pete whispered something about blowjobs, but he spots Brendon’s suit from a mile away, and he frowns_ )

“What do you want, you… you walking disco ball?” Patrick narrows his eyes at Brendon, as Brendon raises his eyebrows “Seriously? That’s all you’ve got?”

“Can you just leave me peace for like, 2 seconds? I’m trying very hard to forget that you’re wearing that monstrosity”

“You’re so mean! And for your information, Pete’s looking around to find me a different outfit to wear, since you can’t deal with people stealing your show” “My show?! You do realize that you’re conducting the whole ~~fucking~~ thing, right?!” He pauses for a second, and takes a deep breath “You’re changing your outfit, though?” “ _Yes_. Pete said he’d look around for something for me to wear”

Patrick’s never been more thankful for Pete than right now… and he’s thankful for Pete all of the time! “Good… I’m just… dude, you’re covered in ~~fucking~~ glitter” Patrick says, trying to hide a smile when he realizes just how ridiculous this all is. Brendon grins at him “I know! So we’re good?”

“As long as Pete finds something, yes. I gotta go find him, you hand these out” Patrick shoves a bunch of programs at Brendon and runs off to find Pete. Brendon rolls his eyes and throws the programs at the nearest teacher (it’s Travie) before going to find Ryan himself.

\---

TRAVIE: ( _shakes his head_ ) I don’t deserve this treatment, but I get it _anyways_

\---

( _Everyone’s seated in the auditorium, and the lights flicker, signaling that the show’s about to start. Patrick spots Pete in the audience, and he runs to him just as the lights go out for good_ )

“Pete!” Patrick runs to sit next to Pete (they have reserved seats in the middle, just because Patrick’s the director, but he still gets anxiety about seating)

“Hey” Pete greets him, grinning as Patrick makes his way through the crowded seats to sit next to him. “Are you ready?” He asks, as Patrick finally gets to his seat. He sits down next to Pete, and takes a deep breath “Kinda? Maybe? Oh my God, I know I get like this every year, but I’m so nervous and excited and just… _Pete_ ” Pete takes Patrick’s hands in his, and he squeezes them gently

“It’s going to be amazing, babe” He says, before leaning over to give him a chaste kiss. “I believe in you and your special power of turning something hopeless into something, like… hopeful” Pete offers weakly, and Patrick giggles “Poet of the year” “ _Shut up_. I take back my offer of blowing you” “Yeah _right_ ”

Before Pete can retort back, the lights go out. Everyone screams in the audience, ready for the show to start, and Pete throws a reassuring look Patrick’s way when Patrick exhales deeply. Brendon makes his way to the pit, doing the princess wave, but he’s thankfully wearing something a lot less flashy, so it’s not as noticeable.

“ _Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold_ …” Joe speaks in the microphone- although he has a stutter (a really cute one at that), he manages to sound very ‘narrator’-like, and Brendon starts conducting the orchestra to introduce soft violins. Patrick and Pete lock eyes, and they smile at each other, and then the cameras shut off

\---

( _TIME SKIP- It’s intermission; Pete and Patrick run off into a closet as soon as intermission starts, Ryan slips his headphones back on (it’s Coldplay), and William walks out to get something to eat at the bake sale in front of the auditorium. Loads of people compliment him, and he smiles politely at them and thanks them, but then he bumps into someone, or rather, a family_ )

“Dad?” William asks, his eyes widening. But it’s not just his dad, it’s his entire family. It’s his mom, and his sister, and suddenly William feels like he has to puke. He'd never in a million years guess that they'd be  _here._

“Hello, William” His mom says to him, before glancing oddly at the cameras, and then back to her son.

“I didn’t know that you guys were coming? Why are you here?” He asks, because his family hardly shows any interest in him at all, why would they care about him in the musical? Something that they hate that he’s apart of? 

“One of the PTA moms said something about you being the lead, why wouldn’t we want to see our son’s performance?” His mother says, as William gapes at her “Because you never do?! You weren’t here last year, for the year before that… or the year before that!”

“Geez, William. Take a chill pill” His sister says, and William’s jaw drops even further “Did you just tell me to take a ‘chill pill’, Jesus ~~fucking~~ Christ-“ “William!”

“I don’t understand why you guys would want to be here… why, did someone make a comment about you guys never being here?” He gets no response for this, his parents just exchange worried glances, and William stares into the camera and gives them an extremely pissed off look, before turning to his parents

“I hope you guys enjoy the show, since you’re forcing yourselves to sit here anyways. It’s not like your son is, like… doing what he loves, or anything” William laughs awkwardly, before running away to find Gabe to rant.

\---

WILLIAM: I’m killing myself! For real! I mean, not _for real_ , for real, but what the ~~fuck~~! What the ~~fuck~~ , what the ~~fuck~~ , I hate my parents so ~~fucking~~ much. Also, it’s 2016, who the ~~fuck~~ says “Take a chill pill” anymore?!?

\---

As Joe says, over the announcements, “Hurry back to your seats, because the show’s about to resume!”, the cameras cut to the closest that Pete and Patrick ran off to. The closest door opens seconds later, and Patrick stumbles out, the zipper on his pants undone. His fedora is off, and he looks sweaty. 

He hardly notices the cameras, so he zips his pants back up as Pete walks out behind him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“Dude, you still have like… cum on your face. On your chin” Patrick says sheepishly, as Pete hands him back his fedora with his free hand. Pete wipes it off with one of his fingers, and then licks it off, and Patrick groans “ ~~ _Fuck you_~~ , oh my God!” “That’s the plan, P Steezy” Pete says, flipping off the cameras as they run back to the auditorium

\---

PETE: I love ~~choking on that Patrick Stump dick~~ lol…. Wait, don’t add that in, actually.

\---

( _It’s the last couple of scenes of the movie- The Beast already went through the transformation back into a human (a transformation that had almost everyone in the audience shocked as to how well it was done) and now it’s just mostly Ashley and William making out on the stage. The camera zooms in on William’s father, who seems to be pleased at seeing his son engage in heterosexuality_ )

The entire cast comes together and starts singing the title song, for the very end. It’s a very emotional time for Patrick, who’s using up all of Pete’s used tissues to wipe his tears. Pete has his arm wrapped around Patrick’s shoulder, and Patrick’s crying into Pete’s chest. Meanwhile, Ryan’s staring at the scene on the stage, still very disinterested. He’s absentmindedly shoving popcorn into his mouth, glancing back to glare at Patrick for making so much noise.

“ _Certain as the sun / Rising in the east / Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the beast!”_ The cast sings, as Ashley and William kiss for the last time, for a _very_ long time.

The entire auditorium erupts into wild applause, and people even stand to cheer for the cast. Ashley and William pull away from their kiss to grin at each other, before looking out into the audience- Ashley’s got the biggest smile on her face, ever, and William blows a kiss out to Gabe, who’s sitting with Joe and Vicky in the balcony.

The camera zooms in on a very exhausted Brendon, who mutters “Heterosexuality is a sin, and I shouldn’t be subjected to look at it”, but looks happy enough with the results of the show. The cheers and applause continue for a while, until they all bow, and the curtains close. When the lights go on, Patrick pulls his himself off of Pete’s shoulder, and wipes his eyes, laughing tearfully “Oh my God, I can’t believe it’s over. I’m so happy” He laughs again, before he starts hiccupping.

“YO, STUMPALICIOUS! PETE THE TREAT!” Gabe screams at Patrick and Pete, and Patrick looks up “BANGER AT MY HOUSE IN AN HOUR, BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!” he runs away as quickly as he came, and Pete shrugs “You up to a party?” “ _God_ , yes”

\---

( _TIME SKIP- William, Ashley, The Butcher, Mike, and Sisky are sitting in a booth at a diner, with their stage makeup on (and The Butcher has his trumpet with him)_ )

“I can’t believe the show is done! Our last show together is over!” Ashley says, still in shock. She shoves a bunch of fries in her mouth, and talks with her mouth open “ ~~Motherfuckers~~ , we’re gonna graduate in, like, two months! What the ~~fuck~~!”

“God, don’t remind me” Sisky says, groaning. William sips his milkshake very angst-like, and Ashley raises her eyebrows “Dude, Bilvy, you good?”

“I guess” He shrugs, as Mike reaches over to pat his hand “It’s alright, man, we’re all gonna keep in touch! And we still have prom, and all of that!” “It’s not that it’s just… guys, my parents were there”

“Your parents?!” Ashley asks, and William nods “Yeah, my parents! They were like ‘oh, we’re only here cause some PTA moms said we don’t care about you, and we wanna prove them wrong’ but it’s like… they don’t give a ~~shit~~ about me” He begins to rant, but then he gives his friends a super fake smile “But I don’t wanna ruin the vibe, tonight was pretty ~~fucking~~ awesome”

“Even if I had to watch you make out with my girlfriend all night” Sisky sighs sadly, and William rolls his eyes “It’s not like I enjoyed it” and then Ashley gasps “Dude!”

“I don’t mean it like that! I mean, like, I’d rather make out with Gabe” William sips his milkshake “He’s throwing a ‘banger’, apparently”

“Is that like an orgy?” Sisky asks, and William throws a french fry at him “No, dumbass. It’s like a party, or something. He said that Mr. Stump’s super wasted”

“I feel like Patrick deserves to get super wasted” Ashley says, before yawning “I wanna go to a party”

“I want some more waffles… can we order more waffles?” Mike asks, before turning to the cameramen “Do you guys wanna pay for our waffles?”

\---

MIKE: I feel like you guys should _at least_ pay for our waffles, since you’re always filming us n’ ~~shit~~

THE BUTCHER: I know that we’re not talking about it anymore, but it’s real ~~shitty~~ that William’s parents do stuff like that… like we’ve been friends for so long, and they’ve always treated him like ~~shit~~ just cause he’s different and ( _frowns_ ) sometimes I wish his parents would get hit by a car… not enough to kill them, but maybe, like, give them a really bad bruise or something

\---

( _William’s sitting in his car, changing the CD, when his phone rings- it’s Gabe_ )

“Hello?” He answers, putting his phone on speakerphone while he rummages through the compartments in his car.

“Mmmm, Bilvy. I need a favor” Gabe groans into the phone- he’s clearly drunk. William hums “Yeah?” and Gabe sighs “Can you come over for a little bit, and help me clean? I promise I’ll buy you bagels in the morning, and I can, like, ~~eat you out~~ or somethin’ when you come over” William’s eyebrow crooks at that, and he grins “Promise?”

“Promise!” He says, cheerfully, and William shrugs “Alright, I’ll be there in a few minutes. Love you”

And Gabe’s smile is clear even through the phone “Love you too, Bilvy”

\---

WILLIAM: So, my parents are giant pieces of ~~shit~~ … but I’ve got a really dumb boyfriend who I love a lot, and that’s all that really matters, right? I mean… my illegal boyfriend, since he’s my teacher, but, like, let’s not get into logistics, okay?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am SO SORRY for this mess snfkdkgjkgg i literally had no idea what to write for this, and then i was like "FUCK IT UMA YOU NEED TO WRITE SOMETHING! JUST DO IT!!" so this was the end result, after thinking about what to write for literally 2 weeks straight :( 
> 
> i dont even have much to say... so i hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! also HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATRICK?!??!! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S 32 IT FEELS LIKE ONLY YESTERDAY THAT HE WAS 29... THE AGE HE WAS AT WHEN I JOINED THIS FANDOM........ anyways... YEAH!! not that patrick would ever get this message considering he'd never read fanfic, but i hope ur day is filled with everything NOT peterick, since u hate peterick @patrick stump, beautiful man whom i love


	21. Dance, Dance

( _The camera pans Nordstrom, a store in the mall, before landing on Ashley and William. Ashley’s frantically looking for a dress, and William’s texting on his phone_ )

“You’re _gay_ , Bill, you’re supposed to be good at this! You’re my _GBF_ , and you’re not even helping me!” Ashley sighs dramatically, pointing to the dresses on the hangers wildly “Everyone’s gonna shop for their dress here!”

\---

ASHLEY: I’ve been so stressed, between the musical, and this fanfiction that I’ve been keeping up with, and I haven’t had time to shop for dresses. ( _sighs sadly_ ) And I dragged Bill here with me, because, like, he’s gay, and he probably has a good fashion sense, right? WRONG! ( _pouts, but then her facial expressions brighten_ ) Wait, aren’t you guys gay? Maybe you guys can help me! Joshler saves the day, once again!

\---

“That’s not my problem” William huffs, but he looks up to the dresses than Ashley’s pointing to. “They don’t look ugly, they look fine, plus you’ll look better than everyone else” He says, in an attempt to please her, but it doesn’t really work

“But I want to be original, Bill! Come on, let’s get those tacos from the food court and then let’s drive around some more” William looks into the camera pleadingly as he gets dragged away by his jacket sleeve, and Ashley calls out “You’re coming too, Joshler!”

\---

WILLIAM: Prom season… I don’t really know how I feel about it. Or graduating, for that matter. I mean, I can’t wait until Gabe and I can be public and can actually, like, _go out_ and do things, but… _college_.

\---

( _TIME SKIP- It’s a school day, and William and Ashley roll up to the school wearing the clothes they were wearing yesterday, the day they were shopping. Sisky runs up to the car when he sees them_ )

“Dudes, where the ~~fuck~~ did you go? Your snapchat story yesterday...” Sisky asks, once Ashley rolls the window down

( _FOOTAGE: William’s asleep in the car, and Ashley shoves him awake “Bilvy, let’s go shopping!” and then William looks out the window- and Ashley drove them all the way to Times Square, in New York City_ )

“She drove us to New York! To go shopping for a dress!” William cries, as Ashley shrugs “I want to look unique!”

“And Josh and Tyler went with you guys?”

( _FOOTAGE: Ashley grabs the camera from Josh’s hands “Gimme this” and she starts filming Josh and Tyler, the cameramen. Josh, the one with the pink hair, blinks at Tyler, who blinks back at him “Um… what do you want us to do?” He turns back to Ashley, eyeing the camera. Probably to make sure that Ashley wouldn’t drop the heavy camera.“Can you guys help me pick out a dress?” “…I guess” Tyler says, before scanning the dress section in the Nordstrom in New York (where almost the same exact dresses that were in Chicago were). He mutters under his breath “They don’t pay us enough for this”)_

“Yes” William says, before leaning his head against the window “I mean it was fun, I guess, but… a road trip with Ashley isn’t something I can do without a warning, or something”

“That’s bullying” Ashley narrows her eyes at William and crosses her arms “I just blasted Evanescence”

 _(FOOTAGE: Ashley screaming the lyrics to “Bring Me To Life” while William covers his ears “WAKE ME UP! WAKE ME UP INSIDE! I CAN’T WAKE UP! WAKE ME UP INSIDE! SAVE ME!”_ )

“Is the dress nice, at least?” Sisky asks, and Ashley grins “You can’t see it, silly! It’s like a wedding dress, practically, it’s a surprise. But it’s blue, we have to match” Sisky nods, and opens the notes section as Ashley begins to describe what she wants Sisky to wear

\---

 _(Brendon’s hanging out in his classroom, lying on his stomach on the top of the piano. He kicks his legs back and forth as he goes through his emails, and Ryan walks into the classroom with his laptop_ )

“Ryan! Your presence is a present!” Brendon greets him, and Ryan only blinks at him “If you lay on your stomach and swing your legs, you ain’t shit”

\---

BRENDON: Me, loves getting attacked at 9 in the morning

\---

“You’re so rude, it’s _fun_!” Brendon whines, but he swings his legs over so that he’s sitting straight up “What’re you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be teaching?”

“Who teaches?” Ryan asks, before setting the laptop on the top of the piano “I just left them in there with Coldplay Live playing. Anyways,” His flicker from the laptop screen to Brendon’s eyes “I figured we could order our plane tickets now, before all of the prom craze, and the graduation ~~bullshit~~ , and… whatnot”

“Oh” Brendon says, a little surprised “I totally forgot about that, actually”

\---

BRENDON: So, as you know, Ryan’s my plus one to my C-U-Next-Thursday sister’s wedding. Which I’m still cumming on myself over, by the way… I mean, not the wedding, I couldn’t give a ~~shit~~ about seeing my homophobic extended family, but like… Ryan’s actually making an effort, and it’s not just me anymore? ~~Shit's~~ hot as ~~fuck~~.

\---

“You _forgot_ about it?” “I was distracted by prom season, which by the way, we’re matching? Right?”

Ryan blinks at him, before saying in the calmest voice he could muster up “Babe, we’re chaperones, we’re not actually _attending_ the prom, we’re just… making sure that no one brings any booze”

“Ah, but technically, we are attending! Because we’ll be in the hall, and all of our friends are gonna be there too, plus we get to drink all the booze that the kids try to smuggle in, so it’s like a plus! You’ll be too wasted to even realize we’re wearing the same color”

“I mean, you have a point” Ryan considers, before turning back to his laptop “So, can we do this? Order tickets?”

“You have to agree that we’re matching first” He swings his legs again, and grins  “My color is salmon, but that’s because I have a vaguely Polynesian background, and it complements my colorful skin tone. You’re… white as ~~fuck~~ , so I’m not sure how that works”

“You’re Polynesian?” “I said _vaguely_ ” Brendon takes out his phone and opens google. The camera zooms in on his recent search “how to contour your forehead so that it doesn’t appear as big in pictures please i need help” and he searches up the color salmon, before pressing  his phone against Ryan’s face “I mean, you look kind of pasty, but that can’t be helped”

\---

RYAN: Pasty?!

\---

“I don’t ~~fucking~~ care, I’ll wear anything you want me to wear” Ryan sighs, and Brendon’s facial expressions brighten “I love you” Brendon says with a grin, before the camera zooms in on Ryan’s widen eyes. The camera turns to Brendon, who looks just as shocked once he realizes what he said and he stutters “I… gotta go!”

He hops off the piano, and heads for the door, before turning back to Ryan “Wait, can you get first class tickets because I’m really high maintenance and… okay, bye”

\---

BRENDON: I told him I loved him! Love! What the ~~fuck~~ , Brendon! I mean, we haven’t even slept together, I know, shocking, and I haven’t even seen his dick yet, so I mean maybe it’s sincere? 

RYAN: I don’t know if I love him, but I know my life would be really boring without him… like sure, I have Chris Martin, but Brendon’s… _Brendon_. And my poems stopped being at Chris Martin and they started being about Brendon, so… do you think that’s love? ...That's not rhetorical, I need an answer 

\---

( _TIME SKIP- It’s the night of prom, and Ashley and William are at Ashley’s house. They’re in Ashley’s room- the walls are covered in posters for Captain America, Supernatural, John Green quotes, and Evanescence (William’s still having recurring nightmares of ‘Bring Me To Life’ blaring through the speakers as Ashley drove through Times Square on her junior license_ )

“-And like, Bucky Barnes did nothing wrong, he deserves to be protected at all costs, and I’ll honestly rip off Tony Stark’s balls, stick them in a blender, and make it into a smoothie, and then force feed his own balls to him” Ashley says, as she finishes zipping up her dress. She turns to William and asks “How do I look?”

William pales, just imagining Ashley actually doing that, and he takes a break from brushing through his shoulder-length hair to glance at Ashley’s outfit

She’s wearing a blue dress (that was inevitable), and going out in her natural, brown hair (the dye washed out a while ago). It’s short, it’s not even up to her shoulders, but it looks so _Ashley_ , that it suits her. She stuck glitter on her eyelids, and she just looks like a wreck, but like… a _good_ wreck. Like nothing matches and goes together, but because Ashley’s wearing it, it looks great.

“You look really good!” William says, sincerely, and Ashley frowns “Should I put on a wig or something, because-“ “No, nooo, you look really cute, I’m being serious!”

She smiles bashfully, and reaches over to ruffle William’s hair, much to his dismay “Thanks Bilvy! I watched Michelle Phan tutorials for 5 whole hours” She pauses for a second, and then she sits on her bed “I have something to ask you. Something serious”

“ _You_ , serious?” William asks, teasingly, but he catches Ashley’s expression and he furrows his eyebrows, going over to sit next to her “What’s wrong?”

“I’m thinking of ~~fucking~~ Sisky” Ashley explains, and William winces- he didn’t have to imagine his two friends doing it- “and I just wanted to know what kind of lube tastes the best”

“Lube? Why do you need lube, doesn’t everything kinda…” He shudders “self-lubricate on it’s own?”

“Yeah, but I read on tumblr that lube is never a bad idea, and like, if Sisky’s gonna taste it, then I want what’s best for his taste buds. Or, like, what if Sisky wants me to eat him out, you know Sisky sometimes has gay thoughts, and I’ve always wanted to peg-“ “Ashley! _Please_ ”

“I’m genuinely curious! It’s prom night, that’s like… y’know, the night that everyone does it” She shrugs “and technically, we’ve done it already, but he came really quickly, like, 10 seconds in, so I don’t count it. But I want this to be good”

“I mean… Gabe usually uses strawberry lube with me… We don’t really switch, so I can’t really tell you what I prefer, but I’d go with strawberry” He gives Ashley a thumbs up, and Ashley reaches over to hug William “Thanks, Bill!” She pats his face with affection “I don’t wanna cry, but I’m going to miss you when you go off to school…” She starts tearing up, and Bill looks into the camera for help as Ashley continues- he can't deal with all of this crying

“I know we only really started talking, like, for real, this year, but you’re so sweet and kind, and you went with me to Times Square! You didn’t even have to do that!” “Technically, I didn’t choose-“ “and you’re so smart, and you and Gabe are so cute together and I’m gonna miss see you guys sneaking around, and… and” She wipes a tear away and smudges her makeup a little but she laughs “You’re like my best friend, Bill. Thanks for always putting up with me”

“I don’t _put up_ with you, I love you Ash, even when you drive us to New York to go shopping, or you ask me about lube, and all of that. You’ve been with me throughout this whole Gabe journey, basically, and I really appreciate that” Ashley smiles tearfully at him, and buries her face in his suit jacket “You’re my GBF, I’ll never find anyone like you!” “Trust me, Ash, I’ll never find anyone like you… _never_ ”

A car from outside suddenly honks, and Ashley gets up and peers out of her window “They’re here!”

The two of them put on their shoes, and grab their belongings, before heading out the door- Ashley’s mom makes them take pictures, and eventually everyone gets involved in the picture taking. And even though William hates taking pictures in general, it’s the last time before graduation that they’re going to be able to do something like this (he’s studying for finals a month in advance because he’s William), and then suddenly, he doesn’t mind anymore

\---

 _(Patrick, Pete, Vicky, and Gabe are all sitting around the venue where the prom is being held- Brendon and Ryan are off somewhere, doing something. They’re all sharing the alcohol that they stole from the students and just chatting_ )

“I never went to my prom” Patrick sighs, taking a sip of the spiked fruit punch “I just sat at home and watched Ghostbusters for about the millionth time”

“Aw, Patrick, I’d take you to prom if I knew you back then” Pete ruffles Patrick’s hair “Even though I’m, like, 5 years older than you, and that’d be a little creepy”

“Age gaps are hot” Gabe comments, and Patrick narrows his eyes at Gabe, a little too hard to be playful “You would know”

“William’s, like, 10 years older in maturity!” Gabe tries to defend himself, but Vicky just pats his shoulder “Whatever helps you sleep at night”

\---

GABE: ( _takes out more liquor from the pocket of his suit_ ) I’m going to need this ( _he uncaps the flask and downs the entire thing, and takes out another one, and does the same_ )

\---

“This sucks. Where’s Joe?” Gabe asks, changing the subject. Patrick shrugs “Said something about smoking pot in the bathroom” and then Vicky, Gabe, and Pete get up “I wonder if he has enough for the rest of us” Gabe says, and Patrick glares at them “Are you guys serious, you’re going to leave me here?!”

“You can come with us!” Pete says, as Patrick waves him off  “I’ll just stay here, do my job, be a responsible adult, act-“

“Pancake, you’re so boring” Vicky says, before she spots a whole lot of forehead running their way “And look, Brendon’s gonna keep you company!”

Patrick looks over his shoulder to see Brendon running towards him, and when he turns back around, everyone’s making their way to the bathroom, to smoke with Joe.

\---

PETE: I usually smoke when I get nervous, but weed makes me totally paranoid once I start dropping out of it, so it’s like… I can never win! ( _Tyler asks “Why are you nervous?”)_ Because… I have a question that I have to ask Patrick, but I don’t know if I should. Or if I’m going too fast… I’m not asking him to marry me but it’s, like, big and what if he turns me down, y’know? He’s my best friend, but I have this… this habit of putting my foot in the door, but then the door is like “No, Pete, I just wanna use you to get off” ( _frowns_ ) And I know that Patrick isn’t using me, but it feels too good to be true. Nothing good really happens to me, and for this, for _us_ , to happen is ~~fucking~~ amazing, but maybe it’s just gonna turn to shit

VICKY: Why did I leave Patrick to smoke? Uh… cause Patrick’s boring as ~~fuck~~ and I wanna get high?

\---

“Where’d everyone go?” Brendon asks, and Patrick crosses his arms across his chest “They’re smoking weed in one of the bathrooms”

“Oh, it’s lit! Anyways, I have a question I wanna ask you” Patrick blinks at him, a sign for him to go on, and Brendon drops himself in Pete’s seat “I told Ryan that I loved him”

“That’s not a question” Patrick begins to say, slowly. Brendon rolls his eyes, and Patrick sighs “but besides that- so what? Is that really bad?”

“Uh, yeah. We just started dating, man”

“…So what?” Patrick takes off his fedora to run his fingers through his hair “Listen, I wasted so many years of my life pining after Pete when I could have just told him that I loved him. It’s not bad to tell someone how much they mean to you” He pauses “and anyways- you’re pretty much the most emotional person I know, I’m sure that Ryan doesn’t care, or that he even feels the same way about you. He looks at you the same way he looks at Chris Martin, Bren”

“Really?!” Brendon asks, his eyes wide “So you think he feels the same way about me?”

“I mean, he did offer to go with you to your sister’s wedding, I think that’s a really big commitment” Patrick says, and Brendon nods, thinking to himself “I guess you’re right, Stumpman! I’m gonna go find him, thank you!”

Brendon runs off, and suddenly Patrick’s left alone. He looks around the venue, at all the students talking over each other, and dancing on the dance floor, and he just takes out of his phone and puts his headphones in. He opens up Ghostbusters, because old habits die hard

\---

( _The camera films everyone on the dance floor- it's a little rowdy, to say the least, but that's just a sign that everyone's having fun. Ashley and Sisky are grinding on each other, and William, Mike, and The Butcher are awkwardly moving their shoulders to 'We Found Love' by Rihanna_ )

“I didn’t know it was possible to grind to this song. I was wrong” Mike comments as he watches Ashley and Sisky with a grimace

“This party blows, they should play some Metallica” The Butcher sighs, as William rolls his eyes “You guys are such party poopers… but yeah, they should play some Sleeping With Sirens”

“Oh god, you’re into Sleeping With Sirens again?!” Mike groans, and William flips him off “ ~~Fuck~~ you, Kellin Quinn is a God!” “I thought after you and Gabe made up, that phase of your life would be over… again!”

“Where _is_ Gabe?” The Butcher peers over to where the chaperones are, but it’s just Patrick with his headphones in, and Ryan and Brendon talking at another table. “He’s smoking weed in the bathroom” William exhales sharply “But maybe that’s a good thing, because then I’d wanna dance with him, which obviously can’t happen”

“ _Tragic_ ”

Just as William’s about to refute back with a snappy comment, Ashley makes her way over to William and starts dancing “Aren’t you guys having fun?!”

“No” Mike and The Butcher say at the same time, but William shrugs “It’s not so bad, I didn’t expect them to cater to my Sleeping with Sirens needs so I didn’t get my hopes up”

“Ew, I thought you were over them?” Ashley asks, but then she shakes her head “Nevermind, that’s not why I came over. Come dance with me!”

They’ve switched the song to Katy Perry’s "E.T", a song that _everyone_ likes. Everyone! So William, shrugs, taking the hand that Ashley outstretched to him, and they start dancing- it’s so embarrassing because that song is about 1000 years old, but the lyrics “ _I got a dirty mind, I’ve got filthy ways_ ” from Kanye’s verse came to William so hard, and suddenly he’s singing the entire song with Ashley.

They’re not even dancing as much as they’re jumping up and down, singing Katy Perry, and ignoring the judgmental stares of Mike and The Butcher. It’s a little disturbing as they scream “Imma disrobe you, then imma probe you” but… they have fun nonetheless.

\---

ASHLEY: I’d die for Katy Perry! Like, yeah, she’s messy sometimes, but like… let her live. Same with Bucky Barnes, sure, he’s messy sometimes, but call me the next time you get mind controlled by HYDRA! Call me!

MIKE: ( _shaking his head_ ) Not even one Green Day song. Not even one!

\---

( _After prom ends, Patrick waits for Pete outside by one of the fountains at the inn the prom was held at. Pete comes up to Patrick a few moments later, stumbling, but he’s got worry strewn across his face_ )

“Please don’t break up with me” Pete says lazily, though his  eyebrows are scrunched together in concern “I know I ~~fucked~~ up, I shouldn’t have left you alone, but-“

“I’m not gonna break up with you” Patrick says, once Pete sits down next to him. Patrick wraps his arm around one of Pete’s shoulders, and Pete cuddles into the warmth of Patrick’s chest “I just watched Ghostbusters, it’s no biggie”

“I left you by yourself” Pete says quietly, and he clutches at the material of Patrick’s jacket “I’m so ~~fucking~~ high right now, I shouldn’t have done that, or left you, or-“

“Pete, what’s wrong?” Patrick asks, and Pete clutches at the jacket even harder- his knuckles start to turn white and he closes his eyes “This is where everything goes wrong… and this is where everything goes downhill, and then you’re gonna realize that you should have never liked me in the first place. Like, I’m gonna keep disappointing you, because that’s all I’m good at. That, and ~~fucking~~ ” He pauses for a second “Mmm… sex” and then he gets back on his train of thought “and I can’t lose you too”

Patrick sighs, pulling Pete close to him “I know nothing I say right now is going to make you feel better, but… that’s never going to happen, alright? No matter what, even if we break-up, I’ll always be there for you. And stop that, you’re good at tons of stuff, like making me smile, like who was the one person who got me to calm the ~~fuck~~ down during musicals? You. And I mean, yes, you’re good at sex, you’re, like, really good at sex, but that’s not all” Pete hums in response, and he lets go off Patrick’s jacket momentarily to hug Patrick “I love you, Tricky”

“I love you too,  Pete. Now let’s go back your place and watch some Ghostbusters. Do you have your key?” Pete nods, and takes out a key from his pocket, but another falls to the concrete. Pete reaches to pick it up, but the camera catches a flash of it- it’s an identical key to his apartment, but this one says ‘Patrick’ on it. He stuffs it back into his pocket before Patrick notices, and looks into the camera momentarily, almost like it's his and the viewer's secret... but it could just be that he’s high.

\---

( _Brendon and Ryan are making out in Ryan’s car - He’s parked in the parking lot of a CVS_ )

“You’re so hot, Daddy” Brendon moans against Ryan’s lips when he pulls away for air, but Ryan pulls away completely to grimace “Daddy? _Why_ ”

Brendon gasps, pressing his hand to his heart  “Are you kinkshaming me? I know you’re a lot of things, Ryan, but I didn’t know a kinkshamer was one of them!”

“ _Bren_ ,” Ryan sighs “I’m not kinkshaming you, but we’re, like, in front of the cameras, my parents are probably gonna watch this, and-“

“Fine, I won’t call you Daddy right now. But can I do it when you’re ~~fucking~~ me?” Brendon grins when Ryan blushes and ducks his head “I hate you, oh my God”

Brendon turns to the cameras, and takes out a bottle of lube from the bag from CVS “Strawberry lube, guys. It’s the only flavor of lube you should actually buy if you’re gonna get flavored lube. Like, banana is fine, but do you honestly want your ass to taste like banana?”

He turns back to Ryan and reaches over to kiss him again “And I know you don’t hate me, cause you told me that you loved me too”

Ryan rolls his eyes, but kisses Brendon back when Brendon kisses him- what can Ryan say? He fell in love with Brendon Urie during the span of a school year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i always see the nicest prom dresses at nordstrom- i havent been to times sq in a while but im almost 100% sure theres no nordstrom there, but let's pretend!
> 
> also- if ur team tony.. why. i didnt see civil war yet (or age of ultron...) but i already kno.. my boy bucky barnes is the purest man in the world and he deserves some godiva chocolate... the only CA movie ive seen was "CA: the winter soldier" but.. bucky is Good(tm) 
> 
> also i think i mentioned katy as being travie's ex, but tbh the only thing i remember from my 6th grade dance (since we didnt get a junior prom and im not a senior yet so ive never been to prom) is dancing to "E.T" with my friends and jumping up and down and screaming "KISS ME K-K-KISS ME INFECT ME WITH UR LOVE AND FILL ME W UR POISON" on the dance floor so....
> 
> and one more chapter left... WTF DGNKFKDKDN ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT I CANT BELIEVE THIS KDJKGKG


	22. Thanks For The Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i've never written a speech, so im jsut warning you, it's going to be the worst thing you'll ever read

_(Camera pans the diner that William and his friends usually eat at, and then it lands on William. He’s got a whole plate of food in front of him, but he’s staring an almost blank piece of paper, apart from the ‘Valedictorian Speech’ written on the top of it_. _William bites his pen and scribbles_ “Dear friends and family” _before scratching it out. He makes a frustrated sound in the back of his throat, and tries again._ “Dear people I don't really care about because I want to get my diploma and just get out of here and make out with my boyfriend/teacher” _He scratches that out after a moment of hesitation and sighs)_

WILLIAM: I can’t believe that I’m graduating… like, it’s just really bittersweet, I’m going all the way to Manhattan, _New York_ , to Columbia University, full ride, which is awesome… okay, that makes me sound ungrateful, I’m _really_ grateful for that, and I don’t owe my parents ~~shit~~ , but… I’m gonna miss my friends so much, you know? And Gabe, like what if he breaks up with me so that he won’t have to inevitably do it in September ( _frowns_ ) I mean, what if I meet someone else and fall out of love with Gabe? It’s New York, there are so many people there! Or what if I get murdered there? What if I die, death by rats?

\---

William sits around and stares at his blank notebook for a while, just picking at the waffles he ordered. He’s about to get up and just go home, because there’s no use in just sitting around, when he spots a flash of purple hair, followed by a head of curls.

“Bilvy?! Whatcha doing here?” Ashley asks, upon noticing the sulking mess that is William. She sits down in the booth without asking and waves to the cameramen “You should have come over when Sisky and I were ~~fucking~~ earlier, that was some good stuff” She says to the camera, and Sisky gives the camera an apologetic look as he slides into the booth and mouths “Sorry”

“Just trying to write my speech for graduation” William sighs, and the three of them shudder at the word. “It’s kinda funny, because I used to be so excited to get the ~~fuck~~ out of here, and now I feel like I’m gonna miss this… maybe the diner can deliver to Brooklyn?”

\---

ASHLEY: After Graduation, Bilvy and I are gonna move in together! Truth is, I haven’t been thinking about college… at all… and I didn’t really apply anywhere, because I was lost with what I wanted to do, and all of that, and anyways, a couple of my internet friends that I met through Supernatural in New York were like “Yo, Ash, aren’t you, like, really good at singing? You should just start a singing career!” and I was like “Okay!” so yeah, check me out on YouTube, my song “Ghost” is out now, get me to 100 likes, ~~shits~~ gonna be so lit. ( _Josh asks ‘Where are you guys moving?_ ’) Oh, my friends live on Halsey Street, so we might move there…

\---

“I can’t believe you guys are moving to New York” Sisky says, and Ashley strokes his hair with her free hand, since the other one is picking at William’s food “Me neither, it’s gonna be so lit. So lit. I mean, I’m sure UCLA is gonna be alright…”

“Stop, let’s not talk about all of our friends going separate ways, just help me with my speech” William says, before burying his head in his hands “What the ~~fuck~~! This sucks, I don’t wanna do this, I just wanna ~~sit on Gabe’s dick~~ and forget about all of this, but noooo, I-“

“William! Just look it up on Google!” Sisky says, before throwing a piece of bacon at William “For the valedictorian, you’re kind of an idiot”

“I want my speech to be special, you know? How am I supposed to make it special if it's, like, a carbon copy of someone else's?" Ashley shrugs “I don’t know, but you’ll figure it out eventually!” She shoves some pieces of bacon in her mouth, and says with her mouth full “Here, first start with a nervous laugh and say something like ‘This is so nerve-wracking, but I’m soooo honored! And then introduce yourself, ‘My name is Bilvy Beckett’ and then…”

\---

( _TIME SKIP- It’s the day of graduation. Patrick is carpooling everyone to the graduation (everyone besides Brendon and Ryan, who have all of their suitcases packed into their own car). Josh is also filming them all from the trunk of the car, because there’s no room for him_ )

“Why did we agree to this again?” Vicky asks, as another David Bowie song comes on over the speakers. It’s not that she doesn’t like David Bowie, because she really does, but the ride to the college auditorium where the graduation is taking place is long, and this is all Patrick seems to want to play on his speakers.

“Yeah, I know, like can we listen to the radio, because-“Gabe begins to say, and it just takes Patrick to turn his head enough to glare at Gabe for him to shut up “My car, my rules”.

“You guys could be taking Brendon and Ryan’s car, I’m sure that must be worse” Travie adds. They all take a moment to consider this, and they nod- yeah, their car must be a thousand times worse.

 _(FOOTAGE: Ryan’s at the wheel, and tears are slowly dripping down his face. “I’m sorry, ~~fuck~~ , this song, this ~~fucking~~ song is so good, you know?” He hiccups, and Brendon’s next to him, dapping his tears with a tissue “I know, babe, I know”. The song is “The Scientist” by Coldplay_ )

“Sooooo, Gabe” Vicky says, after she reaches over to turn the volume down on Patrick’s music. Patrick lets out a sound of distress, which only gets louder when she asks “How does it feel knowing that in less than 4 hours, sex with your boyfriend is finally going to be legal?”

“Geez, Vicky, you don’t have to say it like that” Patrick shivers, and Gabe rolls his eyes at Vicky at the same time. “I mean when you put it like _that..._ ”

“Put it like how it is?” Vicky asks, and Gabe waits a couple of seconds and stutters out “Well… yeah! Come on, William’s, like, 12 years older in maturity! And technically, _technically_ , the age of consent is 17, and he’s 18, so… suck on that!”

\---

GABE: I’m super excited that Bill’s graduating, and no, not only because the sex will be legal, but… my little Guermillo, man! He’s graduating, and he got into ~~fucking~~ Columbia with a full scholarship, a _full ~~fucking~~ scholarship_. I love him, man, I’m so ~~fuckin~~ ’ proud of him.

\---

“I mean, you weren’t wrong about the ‘older than you in maturity’ bit” Patrick says, but Gabe can hear the smile in his voice, so he decides that he’s not going to roast him _this_ time. Plus, no one wants to deal with the wrath of Patrick Stump at 10 in the morning.

They all sit in near silence for a couple of seconds and then Josh, from the trunk, calls out “Can we play some Black Eyed Peas?"

“Who the ~~fuck~~ said that?” Joe asks, and Patrick calls out “No!”

“I got you, Josh” Pete yells back, and Patrick hisses at him “If you even _dare_ “

“I’m back here” Josh says to Joe, and a tattooed arm comes into the frame. He taps Joe’s shoulder, and Joe turns back around and nearly screams “Oh, ~~shit~~!”

\---

JOE: ( _says sarcastically_ ) No, I knew that I was going to be stuck with Patrick Stump for an hour and decided _not_ to get stoned

\---

In a couple of seconds, “Rock That Body” blares through the speakers, and everyone in the car hypes up, as one does when the Black Eyed Peas comes on. Patrick looks very unamused, but Pete sings to him in his horrible singing voice “I wanna rock right now, I wanna, I wanna rock right now, I wanna rock right now” and Gabe starts to grind on Travie in the cramped 5 seater car (which is seating 6, plus Josh)

And even though no one can really see Josh in the frame, he’s actually kind of sad. He’s really gonna miss this group of people, even though Patrick likes being a party pooper a lot of the time, and Joe is always stoned. (But then Patrick ends up rapping alp.de.ap and Taboo’s part with Pete, and he knows it all by heart, so it’s not so bad)

\---

( _Mike, The Butcher, Sisky, and Ashley are all sitting around William in their graduation gowns and caps. William still has two lines on his graduation speech, which is just the introduction that Ashley wrote for him_ )

“I’m so ~~fucked~~ ” William says, and Ashley doesn’t really disagree with him. She just pats his shoulder as a sign of reassurance “It’ll be alright, Bill. I trust you to be able to kinda wing it, you know?”

“I don’t!” He brings his fingers to his head and he pretends to shoot himself, and Mike rolls his eyes “Now you’re just being dramatic. Come on, man! Just rattle off about friendship and how much this school means to you, and add a famous quote in there”

“A famous quote by who?” He asks, and The Butcher shrugs “Don’t you like Channing Tatum?”

“Channing Tatum” William blinks “I’m going to write my graduation speech based around Channing fuckin’ Tatum?!”

“Why not? Here,” Sisky throws his phone at William (who nearly misses it), and it’s open to Google, on BrainyQuotes “I’m sure you can find one good quote in here, and just go ham on it”

It takes a moment of scrolling, plus he has the eyes of his best friends trained on him, which makes him anxious, but he finally finds a decent quote. It probably isn’t a Channing Tatum quote, but he trusts BrainyQuotes enough, plus he doesn’t want to double check anything- he's been fact-checking and citing and doing all of that shit for 4 whole years, he feels like he deserves some sort of a break.

He writes down, sloppily, “ _I don’t know what you’re going through life doing if you’re not really trying to collect some really great memories_ ”

“Wow” Ashley sounds _very_ unimpressed when she peers down at his paper, and Sisky says “I mean… that’s kind of inspirational… I guess”

“No, wait, I think I have a vision…” Bill says, mostly to himself, and he starts bulleting points on his paper “I think my theme is friendship”

“Most friendships end after high school” The Butcher, ever the realist, says, and all of them turn to look at him with hurt expressions as he winces “I mean… I’m just stating statistics”

“But… but I feel like friendship got me through high school, you know… yeah, I think I can semi-work with this. I need some cookies and some Sprite” He says, and Ashley jumps to her feet “I’ll get it!” she glances at Sisky “Come with me so we can do it in the bathroom”

\---

THE BUTCHER: How do I feel about graduating? Well… I’m not really sure yet ( _laughs nervously_ ) I can’t believe I’m actually graduating, that’s for sure. I’m not even sure that this is real, I’ve been waiting for this moment the second I walked through the doors of Barrington High for the first time, but now that it’s here, it’s kind of surreal.

MIKE: I’m ~~fuckin~~ ’ ecstatic to graduate. Do you think I can find any fresh watermelons around here? ( _he waits a second, and then sighs_ ) Okay, I’m pretty terrified to graduate. It’s been a schedule, a ~~fucking~~ boring one, but it was still a schedule that I was used to, and now that I don’t have that schedule, it’s kind of scary. But ( _shrugs_ ) what can ya do? Plus, I get to leave dumbass Barrington High, so it’s pretty much a win.

\---

( _Brendon’s setting up with the younger chorus students, since they have to sing a song at graduation. Patrick comes up to him, looking frazzled_ )

“Hoppus put me in charge” Patrick says to Brendon, and Brendon turns from facing the chorus to look at Patrick with a semi-shocked expression “Seriously? Dude, I thought he hated the music department… and you”

“That’s what I thought! I mean, he put me in charge of graduation, so I mean… he probably still hates me for that time I flamed him”

( _FOOTAGE: Principle Hoppus approaches Patrick shortly after the musical. “Your musical production was good” He said, and Patrick’s facial expressions brighten “Wait, really?!” “Yes, it was good… I mean, it could have been better but I guess we’ll just settle for what it was” and then the camera cuts off after Patrick says, with a red face “Okay, you suck at heckling. We could start with how none of your insults have contextual substance!” And-“)_

“You called him a washed up reality star” Brendon says, and then he tries to give Patrick a sympathetic smile, but he ends up giggling a little. Patrick gives him an exasperated look, and he changes the subject

“Anyways- you guys good here?” He asks, and Brendon shrugs “No one remembers the lyrics, but I got Ryan to hold up signs with the lyrics over there” He points to Ryan in the stands, but he’s not really paying attention “so we should be good”

“Jesus Christ” He mutters in his breath, but he nods hesitantly “Alright… just call Pete if you need me, I’m gonna get everyone lined up. Did you pack the car already?”

\---

PATRICK: Brendon cornered me the other way and persuaded me to drive him and Ryan to the airport. And you know, I pretty much let people walk all the ~~fuck~~ over me, so. ( _thinks for a second_ ) Well, actually, I called Hoppus out on his ~~shit~~ , but then he put me in charge of Graduation because he didn’t want to do it, so I mean. I don’t think any _real_ progress was made

BRENDON: So, we’re going to airport tonight?! And I’m going to see my family tomorrow?! It’s sort of… not even, it’s ~~fucking~~ crazy! I thought I’d never be able to meet my nieces and nephews, and now I will! With my boyfriend! I’m so excited. _So excited_.

RYAN: _(the large signs with lyrics are on his lap_ ) Yeah, I’m pretty excited. Plus, I’ll introduce his nephews and nieces to Coldplay, and I’m always down for introducing to quality music

\---

( _The graduation is in full swing- Gabe is sitting in the audience, with Joe and Travie. Vicky’s with the orchestra, and Brendon’s students just finished singing their song- Ryan was holding the signs upside down, but the students got the general gist of it, and the song went well enough. Now, William walks up to the stage, clutching his graduation speech in his hands_ )

“You’ll be okay, just breathe” Patrick says to him before he reaches the microphone, and William does just that- Patrick’s known William for a while, and knows his nervous tendencies. And when William reaches the microphone, he looks out at the audience.

He notices his mother first, mostly because her hair is about 12 miles above her head, but then he notices Gabe, and he grins at him. Gabe notices, and gives him a small wave, and mouths “I love you”, even though it’s really cheesey, and William takes a deep breath before putting down his paper

“Hi! For those of you who don’t know me, my name is William Beckett, and I’m the valedictorian for the graduating class of 2016. Uh… usually I’d go on a spiel about how important education is, and how you have to work hard to achieve your dreams, but I think that all of us know that already. All of us know that we have to work, and we all know that we should chase our dreams and we all know that we should never give up, because that’s been rooted in us since… well, since forever

"But I just want to talk about something that really means a lot to me, and something that no one taught me, and something that I never learned in school, and that’s friendship. Channing Tatum once said ‘ _I don’t know what you’re going through life doing if you’re not really trying to collect some really great memories’_ , and I think that’s something really important- just making the life that we have worth living, you know? I believe the most valuable thing I’ve ever learned at school is that your friends, if you have good ones, will stick with you through thick and thin, and they’ll be there when you get stressed, and when you think that you’ll never amount to anything

"Because you can study as much as you want, and you can manage your time perfectly, but if you don’t have people there for you when you’re at your lowest to bring you up, then you can’t succeed, and that’s something I truly believe. I’ve _been_ there. If you don’t get out and make the most out of your life and make amazing memories with your friends, then really, what do you have left? We can be as smart as we want, but smartness can’t bring anyone happiness… at least in my opinion

"So if I had to say one thing to my graduating class, it’s to… to focus on education, sure, but to never really lose sight of your friends for the sake of education. And to go out with your friends and do spontaneous things like drive all the way to New York city to buy a prom dress, and… and _yeah_. Do something crazy and do something fun, because when you’re older, it’s not going to matter that you’re, like, the valedictorian, because you’re going to look back on your college life and realize that you didn’t take the time to enjoy it, and create life-long memories.

"Um... I’d like to thank a few people that helped me create those memories. I’d like to thank my best friends, you guys know who you are, and I’d like to thank Mr. Stump for really motivating me to do something fun and join the musical, and really helping me create those life-long memories I was talking about-“ He looks back at Patrick, who’s looking at him, shocked. But shocked in a really good way. “and… and Mr. Saporta, for also always believing in me, and pushing me to be the best person I can be.

"So… yeah. Thank you, to my class, for giving me the opportunity to speak here today. Thank you for helping me create this memory that I’ll always cherish. And congratulations to us all! Thank you!” He finishes his speech, and the auditorium bursts with applause. William looks over to Gabe, and Gabe wipes away a fake tear and makes a dumb face at William. But he’s grinning at him, like he couldn’t be prouder, so William doesn’t even care.

Just as he’s about to walk away from the microphone, he says “Also, check out Ashley Frangipane on Youtube, her new song “Ghost” is out, get her to 100 likes” and then he runs off the stage.

The rest of the graduation goes smoothly- Ashley actually cries on stage when Patrick hands her her diploma and she engulfs him in a huge hug “Thanks _Mr. Stump_ ” She laughs tearfully, and Patrick smiles “So you’re going to finally call me the name I preferred to be called after you graduate?” But that makes her cry harder, so he just pats her back awkwardly when she hugs him again. When all of the seniors throw their graduation caps in the air, the camera focuses on William’s, and when it lands, his cap says ‘thnks fr th mmrs’ on it.

\---

( _William and Gabe are making out in the parking lot, after the graduation ceremony ends. They hear a cough behind them, and William pulls away, to look at who is interrupting them_ )

“Mom? Dad? This is my boyfriend” William says, smugly- it feels really nice to say those words. But his parents don’t even look at Gabe, because they’re glaring at their son.

“Why didn’t you thank us in your speech?!” His mother practically barks at him, and William doesn’t wait a beat “Because I don’t have any good memories with you”

“We… we paid for your SAT classes, and we paid for your good books, and we provided you with a home, and food, and you don’t even have the decency to thank us for all of our hard work” His mother continues, and William crosses his arms “Thanks for doing your job? Neither of you have ever accepted me for who I am, you guys have denied me love ever since you found out about my sexuality and you have basically made my life a living hell, so sorry for not mentioning you in my speech. Really” He rolls his eyes as he says this, and he presses up against Gabe, who’s mostly staring at William with shock

“But you don’t have to worry about me, because I’m leaving. And I’m going to live with my boyfriend until I get to Columbia, so you don’t have to be concerned about your faggot son anymore” His parents mostly stare at  William like he’s lost his mind, and he smiles sweetly at them “Mr. Saporta will drop me off to get my stuff in a bit, won’t he?” He grins at Gabe, and laughs into his shoulder when Gabe stutters “Y-yes I will!”

His parents leave shortly after that, way too scandalized by the fact that William was getting it on with his teacher to even say anything else to him, and William laughs devilishly “I wish I caught that on camera!”

Tyler clears his throat, and William gasps “Holy shit, I totally forgot about you guys! Can I get a copy of that?” and then he wraps his arms around Gabe’s neck and goes back to paying attention to him “I love you. Thanks for… you know. Always being there for me, and whatnot. Thanks for doing this, for being with me even though it seemed like we were never going to get through this”

Gabe kisses William’s forehead and whispers something the microphones can’t really pick up on. But they’re smiling at each other, and they both look so stupidly in love, so that’s all that matters.

\---

WILLIAM: Hmmm.. well, I think I said all I have to say in my speech ( _smiles, and clutches his graduation cap closer to his chest_ ) but I guess I want my quote unquote last words to be that even the most unexpected and crazy things can happen to you, and that… and that things will get better eventually ( _gives the camera a thumbs up_ )

\---

( _Ashley’s sitting outside, waiting for Sisky to bring the car around. Josh gives his camera to Tyler, and he hesitantly approaches her_ )

“My favorite gays! What’s up?” She asks, and before Josh can say anything else, she says “Hey, did you listen to my song yet?”

“Actually, yeah! It was really good. In fact, uh” Josh looks at the camera nervously- he’s never really in front of the cameras, but Tyler gives him a reassuring glance, and he calms down a little.

“Our manager heard it too, and he’s really interested. Really interested in fact, interested enough to offer you a record deal and a season or two of… well, of you. Of us documenting your inevitable rise to success, something like that…” Josh trails off, and Ashley’s jaw drops “Wait, are you serious?!”

“Yeah! So, would you wanna do that?” Ashley pauses a second, before she slaps Josh across the face “Are you ~~fucking~~ insane?! Of course I want to do that, holy ~~shit~~! I can’t believe you even had doubts, I’m so ~~fucking~~ excited! I gotta go call my mom!”

She runs off to call her mom, and Josh clutches his cheek, still a little stunned about what just happened.

“Babe… you good?” Tyler asks, sounding concerned, and Josh nods slowly “Yeah… ~~shit~~ , that _really_ hurt”

\---

( _Pete, Patrick, Brendon, and Ryan are all traveling in Patrick’s car- the rest of the gang took Brendon and Ryan’s car back, since they would have had no way of getting back home. They’re almost at the airport_ )

“This year was so crazy” Brendon says, before Patrick hums in agreement “True”

“No, I’m serious! This year was ~~fuckin~~ ’ insane! Like… I’m dating Ryan Ross. And we’re going to go back to Vegas, and I’m going to go to my sister’s wedding, and see my family again for the first time in, like, 6 years” He’s genuinely in shock, and Ryan nods “Yeah, if you told me that I was going to date Brendon a year ago, I would have probably shot myself”

Brendon turns to blink at him, and Ryan winces “I mean… I mean, it was just so unexpected, you know!”

“Smooth” Pete says, stifling a laugh, and Brendon sticks his tongue out “Shut up, Pete. You can’t say that you expected to end up dating Patrick”

“Nah… I feel like we were meant to be” Pete says, and Patrick snorts “Flattering, really” but he’s smiling to himself, his fingers drumming out a beat on the steering wheel.

“I’m serious! We were best friends, _we are_ best friends, I feel like we’re, like, ~~fuckin~~ ’ soulmates” Pete argues, but there’s no heat to it. Patrick shrugs “That’s true, I feel like you understand me better than I understand myself”

Brendon pretends to gag at them, “Okay, stop talking, this is so revolting”

“You brought it up!” “…touché”

They continue to rattle on about nonsense, mostly Chris Martin trivia, and in a couple of minutes, they reach the airport. They stop momentarily at the drop off station, and Brendon and Ryan jump out of the car. Patrick steps out to help them unload all of their luggage, but Pete stays in the car for a second.

\---

PETE: ( _holds out a house key, that says Patrick’s name on it_ ) I’ve been pretty much contemplating on whether or not I should give Patrick a key to my house yet, and ask him to move in, since y’know, we’re only still dating… but that talk with Brendon and Ryan, surprisingly, kind of led me to the right decision? Patrick and I are like ~~fuckin~~ ’ electric together, and I’m in love with him, so why not ask? I think I want to spend the rest of my life with him… and I’ve never felt that way with anyone, not even Mikey Way. But Patrick’s so special, you know? He’s the best thing to ever happen to me

\---

Pete holds the key in his free hand, and uses the other one to open his passenger door. Brendon and Ryan have all their luggage out on the sidewalk, and Patrick’s just hugging them goodbye and wishing them a safe flight.

“And none of you have like… I don’t know, any kinky shit on you that TSA will catch, right?” Patrick asks, seriously, and Brendon replies with “Well, I’m wearing a butt plug, but nah” just as seriously.

Patrick’s jaw drops and he stares at Brendon, who just stares right back at him, and then Ryan rolls his eyes, intervening “He’s kidding, he’s not”

Brendon breaks into a grin, and then hugs Patrick again “Come on, PMS, I’m not _that_ dumb!”

“Sorry! I just, you said that so seriously, okay?!” Patrick argues, and Pete laughs next to him. He reaches over to hug Brendon and Ryan “Have a safe flight, alright? Text us when you get there”

“Alright Mom and Dad” Brendon says, and Ryan adds “I hate when people tell me to have a safe flight, like, what if I don’t? Don’t tell me what to do”

Pete throws his hands up to surrender, but he ends up dropping the key in the process. Patrick eyes it carefully, but he’s the only one who seemed to really notice, apart from Pete. He leans down to pick it up before Pete can step on it and pretend like it was nothing.

“Ryan’s just being an asshole. Bye guys!” Brendon says cheerily, and then the two of them roll their bags into the airport, walking close together.

\---

BRENDON: I guess if I had to send a message out to the masses, it’d be that you should never apologize for who you are, no matter how crazy and extreme you are. Because you’re you, and if people can’t handle that, then ~~fuck~~ them! But don’t literally ~~fuck~~ them… unless you get off on humiliation and degradation, like me. Then ~~fuck~~ them.

RYAN: One word. Coldplay. ( _shrugs_ ) Just spreading the band of the Lord.

\---

Patrick leans against the car, and Pete chews on his bottom lip nervously as Patrick inspects the key “What’s this?”

“It’s um… well, it’s a key. To my apartment” Pete says, and Patrick tries to hide a smile. He runs his thumb over his name on the key “Oh, really?”

“Really” Pete says, feeling more confident now that he can see Patrick’s growing smile “I wanted to know if you wanted to move in with me, maybe. I can make room for your extensive CD collection, and it’d make band practice a lot easier” He’s referring to Fall Out Boy, their official unofficial band.

“And we could ~~fuck~~ a lot more often” Patrick says, and Pete smirks a little “Yeah, that too”

Patrick places the key in his pocket, and leans in to kiss Pete chastely “Yeah, I wanna move in with you”

“Alright, cool” Pete says, softly, and then he adds “I love you, by the way”

“Yeah, I love you too” Patrick leans his head against Pete’s chest momentarily, and then he looks up “Ready to go?”

Pete nods, and then he ruffles Patrick’s hair as he pulls away. They step into their car just as the sun starts setting. It’s a really pretty, deep pink color, but it's also shades of orange and red, and even some blue. It’s the most romantic thing Patrick’s ever done, and it’s the cheesiest thing Patrick’s ever done, driven off into the sunset, but they’re playing “Meet Me Halfway” by the Black Eyes Peas over the speakers, and Pete’s ugly laughing to Patrick’s dramatic singing, and Patrick finally feels truly happy.

\---

PATRICK: You know, I was a little skeptical about you guys coming here to film us. I thought that my life was so boring, and so simple, and that nothing ever happened to me, so there would be no point. But in a way, I think an ordinary school like Barrington High was a great subject for a documentary. There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :') this chapter was so fuckin cheesey and lame but i think i'm actually really happy with it?! 
> 
> i feel like i have so much to say, but i don't even know what to say now that i'm actually here? i just wanna thank you to anyone who has ever viewed/left kudos/bookmarked/commented on this fic, because u guys are the reason why i finished this, and why i was inspired to keep going, and to write this beast of a 75k word fic?! i love these characters so much but i'm glad that it ended this way before it dragged on, y'know? thanks for allowing me to write stoner joe, and coldplay-addicted ryan, and ashley, and just in general all of these crazy, extra characters and just :') thanks for being part of my life for like 7 months? 
> 
> sooo with all of that being said, i hope you guys enjoyed this story, and thanks again! <33 (also, i stole the last line of this fic from 'the office' which again... if you've never watched 'the office' DOOO ITTTT it's so good and it makes me cry)


End file.
